From the Beginning
by Alikatt31
Summary: Jax and Tara as teenagers and how the Jax and Tara we all know and love came to be.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N I wrote the original chapter 1 quite a long time ago. After reading through now that I'm a few chapters in I realized that I needed to make it more grammatically correct. I didn't change the story line just changed perspectives and made it a little bit easier to follow. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read my story. I appreciate it! Enjoy my little slice of Charming! **_

_**I don't own any of the characters or places in this story, Kurt Sutters genius mind does. The only thing I own are Jax and Tara as teenagers. KS laid the foundation and I went back from there. Never any copy right intended. **_

Jax Teller, just that name is enough to make me smile. I mean he is the hottest guy, in my opinion, at Charming High School. Too bad he doesn't even know I exist. Donna, my best friend and I are eating lunch when Jax and his best friend Opie walk by, man I could watch him walk away all day. Jax has this swagger about him, this confidence when he walks. There's just something about his walk that just makes people take notice of him. Donna thinks I should say something to Jax, but what? I mean I don't know the guy. I just think he's hot. I mean if we are meant to talk then it will happen. Donna continues to tell me all the reasons why I should "bump" into Jax Teller and get him to talk to me. I suddenly have to shush her because Jax and Opie are walking back to their lunch table and I don't want them over hearing us talk about them. As luck would have it just as Jax is walking by his apple rolls off his lunch try and lands on the table in front of us. No way! I go to pick up the apple at the same time as Jax and our heads hit. Great going, I think to myself! So not the way to get a guy like Jax Teller to notice you! I look down and murmur an apology to Jax thinking what an ass I've made of myself when he just starts laughing and says it's alright. Donna is now staring at me.

"What?" I ask her

Donna chuckles and says that now I've got an opening for a reason to talk to Jax if for nothing more than to just laugh and tell him again how sorry you are for bumping heads. I just look at her and wonder if I've got enough guts to walk up to him and act like he'd want to talk to me.

Just as Donna finishes telling me this I notice that Opie is looking back our way. He's totally checking her out!

"Donna, Opie is totally looking at you!" I tell her

Donna thinks I'm crazy, waves her hand at me as if to say whatever and tells me that guys like Opie and Jax don't want girls like us.

The lunch bell rings and it's time to head off to Chemistry, Math and English. As I'm walking to class I wonder if fate has indeed stepped in and if I'll get another chance to talk to Jax.

Later that night as I'm sitting down to finish my homework my cell phone beeps from a number I don't recognize. I read the message,

"What ya doing darling?"

Who the hell is this I think to myself. I don't remember having given anyone my number lately so I'm honestly kind of confused. I think it's probably a wrong number and continue to work on my homework. About 5 minutes later my phone beeps again with another message. I look at this screen and it says

"This is Jax."

What! No fucking way! How did Jax get my number? I type back to him asking him what's up. I'm really wondering what he wants. Another minute goes by and my phone beeps yet again.

"How would you and Donna like to hang with Op and I tomorrow night."

Oh my god! He didn't just ask me out did he? My heart is racing as I reply

"Um what do you have in mind?"

Next thing I know the phone rings and I hear "Hey Darlin, it's easier to talk then write everything out. Me and Op thought you and Donna might like to go out for Burgers." Seriously, he's being serious? Never in a million years. I am pretty much in shock. I hear myself tell him that it sounds like fun and since Donna and I already had plans that I'm pretty sure she won't mind going out for burgers either. He laughs, tells me he'll talk to me tomorrow and hangs up! I can't help smiling from ear to ear. I have a feeling though I'm about to walk on the wild side and maybe just for once not being good girl Tara will be fun.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for the reviews! I do not own Jax, Opie, Donna or Tara. Kurt Sutter and all his brilliance created them! I just wanted to do a little bit of back story! Hope you all enjoy! No copyright intended.

Chapter 2

I look at the clock for what seems to be the hundredth time in the past two minutes willing the clock to strike eight, but at the same time hoping it doesn't. I've just spent the whole afternoon and early evening with Donna trying on every piece of clothing I've got in my room! Trying to find the perfect outfit to wear for Jax. Since it's almost June and it's a beautiful night I put on my favorite pair of ripped Hollister jeans, olive green wife beater tank, and of course my black leather cuff bracelet.

Donna went just as simple with some camo cargo pants and a black beater. It's almost go time! Donna runs down the stairs to me after putting on her finishing touches just as I hear the roar of motorcycles turn onto my street.

We look at each other and Donna says to me "you've got this Tar, make that boy drool!"

I smile uncertainly and tell Donna she looks hot and walk out the door. Jax and Opie are just pulling up when we get to the street.

"Hey Darlin", he says with a voice that's making me all hot and bothered already.

"Hey Jax." I say with more confidence than I feel.

"How are ya?"

"Great now that I've finally scored a date with you." I think to myself what, did just came out of my mouth. I laugh and jokingly tell him he's such a schmoozer. Opie and Donna are just standing there at the curb looking at each other in silence. I elbow Jax and nod my head towards our best friends, and we both just burst out laughing.

"Yoo hoo brother! You just going to stand there all night or are we gonna go grab that burger and take these lovely ladies for a moonlight ride?"

Opie seems to snap out of it, shakes his head with a grin and hands Donna his helmet. "Here put this on, my dome can take a beating but yours is just too pretty to take a chance with." Donna looks at him like he's crazy, puts on the helmet and climbs on behind Opie.

Jax hands me his, helps me buckle the strap and I climb on. "I've never ridden on the back of a motorcycle before Jax."

"Hang on tight darlin!"

I wrap my arms around him leaning my head in smelling the scent of leather and something else. Something totally all Jax. Man I must be lucky! I would never had thought in a million years I'd be here like this holding on to this perfectly beautiful man riding off into the night under the stars on the back of Jax's Dyna Glide Harley.

We pull up at Floyd's Diner and notice that it's really busy.

"No worries ladies, watch and learn." Jax walks in and Floyd immediately shows us a table.

"What the hell Jax! How did we just cut in front of all those people?"

"Floyd is a special friend of the club Tara" says Opie.

Donna and I look at each other and start laughing. This is just so cool! I'm just finishing up with my chocolate shake, laughing at a joke Jax told when I feel someone staring at me. I turn my head and see Ima, the most popular Cheerleader at Charming High. If looks could kill I'd most definitely be dead!

She saunters over, looks straight at Jax and in that purring voice of her says hello to Jax.

Jax nods "Ima."

"When are you taking me for that Ride you promised Jax?"

I look at Jax thinking that I should have known this was too good to be true but before I can even get that thought all the way through my head I hear Jax say "Ima, that was a year ago. I'm here on a date with Tara now so beat it!"

Donna says to me under her breath "Tar, that girl is not going to make this easy for you. She's going to be trouble."

Before I know what is happening I feel Jax pull me close to him and Kiss me! Oh my god! The world just shifted on its axis. The diner noise disappeared, Opie and Donna disappeared and the only thing I felt were Jax's lips on mine. Wow! Fireworks! I can't think straight! He pulls away and smiles ear to ear.

"Now that should give Ima something to be jealous about!"

Jax motions for Donna, Opie and I to follow him out of the diner.

"Now what guys. Where we headed?"

Jax looks at Opie, Opie nods and Jax says "Well Op and I thought we'd show you guys what freedom feels like. There is nothing like a midnight ride on a warm summer night. Now put your helmets on girls and hang on tight!"

We drove out past the city limits out by the huge old redwoods. The moon was shining and it felt like the best night of my life. It was so easy to lose track of time. I looked at my cell and the numbers read 2:00 am. Holy Shit! I told Jax that I was going to be in deep shit with mom and dad and that I really needed to head back. We said goodbye to Opie and Donna at the Charming city limits and headed to my place. We pull up to the curb at my house. I hop off the bike and hand Jax his helmet.

"Thanks for the perfect night," I hear myself say. Ugh my stupid mouth! It always speaks before I get the chance to think! My cheeks turn red but before I can say anything Jax laughs and goes in for a kiss. That's the 2nd time tonight! It wasn't just for Ima's benefit! I think I could totally fall in love with this boy.

He looks at me and says "thank you for the perfect night."

He starts his bike, wave's good bye and drives away. I lick my lips savoring the kiss from Jax Teller and watch as his taillights fade in the distance.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N I've had chapter 2 and 3 done for some time. Didn't think it was any good so I didn't want to publish it. My friend Aisha convinced me otherwise! So thank you bb! **

**Again..I do not own any of the characters. Kurt Sutter is the genius here and definitely should be acknowledged. There was no copyright infringement intended! Just wanted a bit of a back story about Jax and Tara and what they went through before we met them in adulthood. **

Chapter 3

I rolled over and looked at my clock. It's only 7am! I've only been asleep for 4 hours! Then I remember exactly why I've only been asleep for 4 hours and a smile starts to creep through my sleepy, grumpy self. I fall back to sleep with a smile on my face.

Three hours later I awake to the beep of my phone, thinking that it is probably Donna texting me to gush about last night's date. I roll over with a groan and crack one eye looking at the screen. What I see makes me blink not once, not twice but three times. My screen says "morning beautiful." Really? Can Jax really think I'm beautiful? I'm definitely awake now! I cannot believe that he's already texting me! I shoot him a quick good morning text back while I'm lying in the middle of my bed reliving last night but at the same time thinking that it's probably too good to be true, because me, straight A student Tara being called beautiful by the prince of SAMCRO is just too much to take in! What's next? Winning a million dollars? Ha ha ya right!

I get up, twist my hair into a pony tail and slap on some soffee shorts and a tank and am headed down stairs to score some breakfast when I hear the door bell ring. I take a quick glance around noticing there is no one home. Mom and dad must have left early! Awesome! I've got the house all to myself! Wondering who is at the door I make my way to it, look out and I cannot believe who I'm seeing! Jax! I look like absolute shit! I just rolled out of bed! God help me now! Opening the door for him I'm totally self conscious. He's standing there in all of his Jax glory, cut, jeans, and tennis shoes looking fine as hell!

"Hey what's up Jax?"

"Well darlin I figured I'd stop by and see what you were up to today. See if you wanted to hang out? I've got this place I'd like to take you."

I shrug, open the door wider and let him come in. He walks in with that swagger, that air of confidence that just makes me want to melt. I head for the kitchen and he follows sitting down on one of the bar stools. I go to the fridge to get out the milk for my cereal. I'm sharing breakfast with him now when 2 days ago I didn't even know he knew I existed. This is just crazy! I ask Jax if he'd like some cereal and he nods his head all the while watching me while I'm walking around in the kitchen. I can't help but ask what he's looking at. Another instance where I should have kept my mouth shut!

"Your beautiful in the morning, you know that right?" Jax says

Now what do I say? I'm out of my element here. I mumble a quick embarrassed thanks and make a big deal out of finding bowls. We sit down to eat and I'm curious where he wants to take me.

"So where is this place you want us to go?"

"It's up the coast a little bit, a secluded beach I stumbled on a while back. Thought you and I could spend some alone time and get to know each other a little better."

"Sounds good to me. I really didn't have any plans for today."

I finish eating breakfast and let Jax know that I need to run up and take a shower and to make himself at home. A slow grin spreads across his face. Ugh! I can only imagine what he's thinking about! I'm sure I don't want to know! About a half hour later I come downstairs and hear him talking on his cell.

"Yea no problem Clay I'll head that way."

I walk in as Jax flips his phone shut.  
>"Everything ok?" I ask<p>

"Sure Darlin, that was just Clay. He needs me to swing by the clubhouse for a quick minute. You ok with going there for a few minutes on our way out?"

Well I'm not really kosher with it but what am I going to say? Of all the things I've heard about SAMCRO most of them aren't good and to be honest I'm a bit nervous about going there. But I nod an ok, grab my phone and sunglasses and we head out the door.

We pull into Teller-Morrow and there are bikes everywhere! I mean everyone knows that the Sons are a force to be reckoned with but it's way different being here in person! Jax slows to a stop pulling his bike in line with about 6 or 7 others, most of them black with grim reapers or SOA custom painted on them. These must be the bikes of his brothers. Jax and I climb off his bike. He asks if I'll be ok for a few minutes and I tell him I'm fine. I'm just going to sit here and take it all in. Knowing what I know or have heard about The Sons of Anarchy I should be totally freaked out sitting here all alone without Jax but I'm not. I realize that even though I hardly know Jax I trust him and I know he wouldn't leave me somewhere that isn't safe. Lost in thought I don't hear anyone approach until I felt a tap on my shoulder! Whew it's just Opie, and some other weird looking guy with a mohawk and two lightning bolts tattooed on his head.

"Hey Tara, didn't mean to startle you. Just thought I'd say hi. Oh and this stupid fuck standing next to me is Juice." He says as he is laughing and hits Juice on the shoulder.

Juice nods and bends his head down lighting up a cigarette. Looks like Juice is a prospect too since he's wearing a cut just like Jax and Opie's. Juice looks up and must have just realized who's bike I'm sitting on, kind of chuckles and says;

"Brave one aye?"

And walks away. I look at Opie wondering what that was supposed to mean. He shrugs his shoulders as if to say he doesn't know and takes off after Juice. I turn to look around and my breath catches. Jax is walking toward me and man he is just the sexiest thing ever. He's got this swagger to his walk that just makes people take notice of him.

"Hey doll I've gotta stick around here for a bit. If you want to go inside my ma's there and said she'd like to meet ya."

Oh my god! I barely know Jax and now I've got to meet his mother! I hop off his bike and follow him into the office at Teller Morrow. Sitting at the desk is a woman who I can only assume is Gemma Teller-Morrow. I've heard stories about her, most of them not good so imagine my discomfort when she looks up at me and gives me a stern once over.

"Ma, this is Tara. Tara this is my mom Gemma." Says Jax

Gemma looks me up and down and takes a drag from her cigarette.

"Hi Tara, you must be Jax's new piece of ass."

Holy shit. She didn't just say that did she? I can't believe it! What am I supposed to say? Thank god I didn't have to say anything because Jax jumped in and told Gemma to be nice. Wow talk about uncomfortable, that's me, right now! Before I can recover Jax grabs my hand and we turn to leave. Shouting out over his shoulder he tells her that I'm different, a good girl and to give me a chance. With that we exit the office out into the California sunshine.

"Well that didn't go so well did it doll. I'm sorry. Ma can be a little abrasive sometimes."

A little abrasive I'm thinking. Try a lot abrasive! But I let Jax know it's alright I'm not bothered by it. She doesn't know me so how can she really judge. I ask Jax what the plan is now and he starts to frown. Uh oh, this can't be good.

"I've got to stay, and I don't guess you'd want to stick around with Gemma. I'm sorry Tara. I think you'd be more comfortable if I took you home."

I nod but really I'm disappointed. I almost had a deserted beach with Jax. How can I not be disappointed?

He hands me his helmet and I get on the bike. Riding with him is so relaxing. I love the way he smells when I wrap my arms around his waist and I love the feeling of his muscles working as he's steering the bike. The miles fly by and in an instant it seems we are pulling up at my house. I start to climb off the bike when Jax looks at me and says,

"I'm sorry our plans got messed up doll. Club shit always comes first."

I tell him it's ok and just as I'm about to walk away and head into the house he grabs my hand and kisses it.

"Rain check?"

"You bet my ass you get a rain check! Now get out of here Teller!" I'll talk to you later!

And with that he shoots me that killer Jax smile and roars away.


	4. Chapter 4

Since the plans with Jax fell through I've got the whole day ahead of me to do anything I want. It's a beautiful June day, there is one more week of school left and I don't feel like just sitting at home. Maybe I'll give Donna a call. I really haven't spoken with her since Jax and I left her and Opie at the Charming city limits. Hmm wonder what happened after that. I want details and I want them now! So I call up Donna and she immediately answers the phone.

"What's up Tar?" she says

"Well I want to know all about last night Don! Want to meet up and do a little retail therapy and dish on last night?"

"Sure, how about a milkshake at Floyds first? Meet ya there?"

I tell her that sounds good and head out the door. Twenty minutes later I'm sitting in a booth waiting for Donna when I hear the roar of motorcycles. I look outside and SAMCRO goes flying by! I'd say by their rate of speed that where ever they are going it must be important that they get there fast! That gets me to thinking and worrying about Jax. I mean I know that he's been around The Sons his whole life (it's common knowledge around town) but that doesn't mean that he's not in danger. I must have been totally lost in thought because I didn't even see Donna come in until she sat down and waved her hands in front of my face.

"Yoo hoo Tar, you in there?"

I quickly snap out of my wondering and worry and tell my best friend hello. Without even having to ask her how she thought her night with Opie went she busts right out with it. By the way she's gushing and going on and on I know she must really like him. Now hopefully he likes her as much in return. It would be great if things worked out for her and Opie and Jax and I! When she's finally done talking she asks me how I thought things went on my end. When I told her I'd already had breakfast with Jax this morning and been at Teller-Morrow and met his mother her eyes grew big and and she said "no way!" I told her about what Gemma said and how Jax reacted, and then I told her how I ended up here with her instead of on the beach with Jax.

After that our shakes were finished and we decide to head out into town and see if we can find something to buy. I'm thinking maybe I'll look for some boots to wear when I'm on the motorcycle with Jax. Walking by this leather shop in town in the window were the perfect pair! They are black lace up almost looking like combat boots! I just had to have them! Donna and I went in and I tried them on and there is no way I'm going to walk out of here without them! So I tell the guy to ring them up! Just as I'm about to pay for them the bell over the door dings and in walks Gemma. Uh oh I think to myself. What do I say? What do I do? Hoping that maybe she won't notice me I quickly pay the guy and turn to walk out the door. Then I'm caught!

"Tara isn't it?" Gemma says

"Yes, Hi Mrs. Morrow."

Gemma looks at me for a second and then she apologizes!

"Sorry for being a bitch this morning darlin, some days I don't have a filter. I'd like to get to know you better. Would you like to come to family dinner at our house Monday night?"

What I really wanted to say was no, because she makes me nervous but that wouldn't be polite so I accepted her invitation instead. With that said she excused herself to do some shopping and Donna and I left the store. Once outside I stop and take a couple of deep breaths. Donna asks me if I'm ok and I tell her that I'm just a little bit freaked out about going to have dinner with Jax, Jax's mom and Jax's step dad Clay. Holy shit! What have I gotten myself into! Hanging with Jax is one thing but dinner with the King and Queen of SAMCRO is….. something else entirely! What if I say something wrong? Will they haul me out of there and kill me? I know I'm being ridiculous and probably most of what I've heard is rumors but still, it could be true couldn't it?

Donna and I look around town for a little while longer and we decided to head to my house and have a girl's night with all the fixings, pizza, popcorn and chocolate with an ice cold coke to top it off. We stopped at Unser's Pizza to pick up a few slices and Charming Video for a movie. We picked The Lost boys, one of our favorite movies and walked the rest of the way back to my house. Mom and dad were sitting in the living room watching TV when we got there. I said a quick hello and we headed on up to my room. I haven't heard anything from Jax so I'm just going to enjoy my movie night with the bestie and hopefully Jax will text me in the morning. We turn on the movie and both Donna and I are asleep before a vampire even pops up on the screen.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N Thank you for all the kind reviews! I'm enjoying writing and also reading this story! I'm glad you enjoy also!

I'd like to thank my Beta Anne and also my pre readers Aisha and Traci! I'd also like to say that I do NOT own any of the characters. They are all creations of Kurt Sutters brilliant mind! No copywrite intended!

Sunday came and went with no phone calls or text messages from Jax. I worked on my end-of-the-year project for my Shakesperian English class and had dinner with my family. I kept checking my phone to see if somehow I had missed a call or some form of communication from Jax but I hadn't. It made me wonder just what he was up to and I was worried! I decided to turn in early that night, no use in just wandering around in my house thinking bad thoughts!

Man, I just couldn't sleep! Thinking about dinner tomorrow, with Jax's family, had me all keyed up. I didn't know what to expect. How do I act? What do I wear? Do I take some form of a gift or some kind of food with me? I just didn't know and it's not like I could call Jax and ask him either! I finally drifted off into a fitful sleep only to be awakened, in the early hours of the morning, by my phone buzzing. I look at the screen and it's Jax. What the hell?

"Hello? "

"Hey Doll, you sleeping? "

"No Jax, it's 2am I'm outside mowing the lawn, yes I'm sleeping, what are you doing?"

"Well, I've been kind of swept up in club shit but I wanted to talk to you. I missed you. Ma said she invited you to dinner tonight, you coming?"

I'd like to say no, I wasn't going to go, in all honesty I'm scared shitless but that would be rude so instead of saying what I really want to say, I mumble a half asleep, " Yes I'll be there." I hear Jax laugh on the other end. He tells me good night and sweet dreams and that he'll see me tomorrow at school and hangs up. The phone call puts me a bit at ease and I slide into a dreamless sleep.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep! What is that noise? It can't be, oh but it is, Monday morning. Ugh time to get up and get ready for my last week of school before summer vacation! I slowly open one eye and look out, the sun is shining, it might not be a horrible day after all. I drag my still half asleep ass out of bed and into the shower. While I'm in the shower I contemplate what I'm going to wear. Whatever it is, it has to work for dinner too. Do I go with jeans and a tank or should I dress up a little bit? Nah, I'm going to stick with being me and I throw on my favorite pair of holy American Eagle jeans and loose fitting white cotton cami. I grab my leather cuff with Tara stamped in it, snap it on and head for the door. Shit! I almost forgot to grab my book bag! I have no time for breakfast so I holler a quick good bye to the parents, jam my feet into my flip flops and head outside to my baby, a 1989 Mustang LX 5.0. She's cherry red and shining in the sun. Man, I love this car! I start her up and she roars like a lion. I roll down the windows, crank up some Nickelback and head to school. I think to myself, today is going to be a good day!

Pulling into the parking lot, I see Jax and Opie parking their bikes in their usual spot. I swing into a spot right next to them, roll up my windows and hop out. Jax shoots me that oh so sexy Jax smile and as much as I'd like to just melt right here in the hot ass parking lot, I don't. I manage to smile back and walk over and see what's up with them.

"Hey Tara, you seen Donna yet today?"

"Sorry Opie I haven't; have you talked to her since Friday?"

Opie says he hasn't. He says he got in late last night and didn't want to bother her. Imagine that, he didn't want to bother her but yet Jax who might I add is standing next to me grinning ear-to-ear had to just call and wake me up because he wanted to! I reach out and punch him on the shoulder, he turns around picks me up and throws me over his shoulder and starts heading toward the school. All I can do is laugh. I'm trying to get the words out to ask him to put me down but I'm laughing too hard. I hear a voice, a not too happy voice saying hello to Jax. From my vantage point all I can see are perfectly manicured toenails and long tan legs. Ima! Next thing I know I'm being stood back up. Ima's standing there with her hands on her hips looking at us with a twisted up face. I just don't get it, why is she so upset?

"So Jax, you're hanging out with the geek squad these days? Science geek here doesn't seem like your type. You could have this, ALL of this and you choose that?"

With that she blows him a kiss, turns around and stalks off. I'm just standing here with a what the fuck look on my face. Jax, however, rolls his eyes and just kind of chuckles.

"Tara, don't let that whack job get under your skin. She's just doing that to try and make you jealous and babe, there isn't anything to be jealous about. It's you that's coming over for SAMCRO dinner tonight, not her."

Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Did I just hear right? SAMCRO dinner? That's what she meant by family dinner, everyone? All of the MC? What? Ok as if I wasn't freaked out before I'm even more nervous now! Just as I'm about to go into full panic mode Donna walks up with Opie.

"So Tar, that Ima bitch giving you problems already? You know how those cheerleader types are, whores. Don't let her get to you. She's got nothing on you, ya know. "

Just then the warning bell rings and it's time to head to class. I tell Jax goodbye and Donna waves to Opie and we head off to first period. How am I ever going to make it through this day without freaking out? I'm really glad it's the last week of school because I don't think I can pay attention to anything. My mind is stuck on one thing and that's SAMCRO dinner tonight!

Some how I make it though the day and the final bell rings. Time to head home. I walk to my locker and Jax is there waiting for me. Totally didn't expect that. Shoot this time of year Jax doesn't even usually stay at school the whole day, let alone stick around after school by someone's locker! Good thing he can't hear my thoughts because I would have just told on myself that I had been crushing on him for a long time! I mean how else would I have known his routine? Anyway he's standing there waiting for me when I walk up.

"Hey Tar, I'm headed to Teller-Morrow, you want to come with? Maybe we can hang in the garage for a while and then head over to Ma's for dinner?"

I tell him that sounds ok, grab my back pack and head out to my car. I'm still pretty nervous about even going to Teller-Morrow but I guess it's something I have to get over. Jax is who he is and if I like him I'm going to have to accept him for exactly that. He's SAMCRO and that isn't changing anytime, ever! I jump into my car and we roar off, headed for TM.


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N I**__**'**__**d like to thank Traci and Aisha for pre reading this chapter. I**__**'**__**d also like to say thanks to everyone for all the wonderful reviews! I**__**'**__**d also like to thank my beta Anne! Thank you so much! **_

_**Again, I do not own any of these characters. All the characters in this story are products of Kurt Sutter and his unbelievably talented but deranged mind! No copy rite intended. **_

Jax pulls into Teller-Morrow right ahead of me and he pulls his bike into line. I park and walk over to him. Looks like, this place is deserted today. He says to follow him into the clubhouse for a quick minute, so I do. Juice is sitting at his computer doing what he does best and Opie is just messing around playing 9 ball at the pool table by himself.

"Man, where is everyone?" Jax asks Opie.

Opie doesn't say anything but just shrugs his shoulders and continues to play his game. He must have finally noticed I was there though, because he looks straight at me, grins and asks if I'd like to play a game of 9 ball against him. Eh, I shrug and tell him sure, why not. I've never been much of a big pool player but I'll give it a shot. Next thing I know, Jax is walking up with money in hand. What is he doing?

"I've got 10 bucks on Tara that she kicks your ass Op!" says Jax.

Oh hell! Do I look like the type of person that can run a pool table and win money! NO! Opie smiles at me, looks at Jax and tells him he'd be glad to take Jax's money when he wins! I shoot Jax a "what the fuck" look and Opie a "gee thanks look" and go grab a stick. I let Opie have the break and nothing goes in so I'm up. I have a clear shot at the 1 ball and surprisingly it slides right into the pocket! Maybe I'm not so terrible at this after all! I'm not so lucky with the 2, it's a long shot and I hit it at the wrong angle and it misses by a mile! Opie hits in the 2 and the 3 but misses the 4. I'm up again. This time I'm concentrating hard. I don't want to lose! I line up and aim my cue a little to the left and bam, the 4 slides right into the corner pocket! This is crazy! I really like this game! The 5 ball has moved almost to one of the center pockets, I line up, take my shot and 5 bounces off the 8 ball and the 8 ball goes in and I lose! I can't help but do anything but stand there with my mouth open! I really thought I had a chance! I just start laughing, I can't help it! Jax is standing there with the $10 in his hand, shaking his head, looking at me with this little grin on his face.

"Gave it a hell of a try Tara, you'll get him next time."

Opie is laughing as he walks over, grabs the ten and pockets it, nods at me and tells me good game and heads out of the club house.

"Where's he going, Jax?"

Jax tells me he thinks Opie is going to go take a bit of a ride before dinner and asks if I'd like to go for one, too. Of course I'd like to go on a ride! Is he kidding? We follow Opie out of the club house and I ask him where he's going and he says he's going to go pick up Donna and ride around for a little bit before dinner.

"Is Donna coming to dinner too?" I ask Opie.

He says that he's not real sure, that he invited her after school but she didn't know if she was up for it or not and that's why he thought he'd swing by and pick her up and see if she had made up her mind. It all sounded good to me. It would be good to have her at the dinner with me, at least besides Jax and Opie I'd have a comforting presence there. I was really hoping she has decided to go. Jax throws me his helmet, I hop on and we head to Donna's. When we get to her house, she's waiting for us outside, on the porch. Something is wrong. She looks like she's been crying. I hand Jax his helmet and climb off the bike heading for the porch, Opie beats me to it though.

"What's wrong, Donna? Why are you crying? Did something happen?"

Donna nods, looks down and tells us that her parents aren't too thrilled about her talking to one of the SAMCRO guys and have forbidden her to hang out with Opie, Jax and even me, now that word is out that I've been seen around with Jax. She looks at me and asks me what we are going to do?

I just don't know. I mean I've never been in a situation like this one before. I'm the good girl, I don't get in trouble, I get good grades, my parents trust me and don't ever tell me what I can and cannot do. I really don't have an answer for her. I know what I'd like her to do, ditch her parents, hop on Opie's bike and go to dinner with us, but that would just make things worse. I give her a hug and tell her we'll figure something out then I walk back to Jax, giving Donna a little bit of time with Opie.

Jax asks me what's going on and I give him the run down on what she said. He just shakes his head. He gets that people don't really like the idea of SAMCRO but right now with Opie and Donna, it's just motorcycle riding and dinner, a little teenage fun. I'm stumped and so is Jax but he says he'll think about a way for Donna to still be with us even if it's not tonight. Opie finally gives Donna a hug and heads back to his bike, head down, somber. He must really like Donna because the look on his face is very sad. He was let down totally. After all this mess, it's just about time to head to Gemma's for dinner. Just as Opie starts up his bike and clicks it in gear Donna comes running off the front porch, hops on the back of Opies bike, grabs onto Opie and tells him to get going before anyone realizes she's gone. I look at Jax, Jax looks at me and we can only be thinking the same thing. Uh oh spaghetti O! She's going be in some deep shit with her parents when she gets back. Donna pulls on her helmet, Opie roars off and we are right behind them, headed for Gemma's and a dinner I was very nervous about!


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N I'd like to thank my wonderful Co-writer on this Chapter Traci! Great Job and you can co write any chapter you wish with me! I'd also like to thank Anne my beta! Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to do this for me! **_

_**So sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. With Thanksgiving holiday and things I've been super busy! I hope the next one won't take me as long but..i'm still not too sure where I'm going with it! Hope you all enjoy! **_

_**Also..I don't own anything! Kurt Sutter and his genius mind brought all these characters to life. I am just expanding on the foundation he already built! **_

Walking into the front door of Jax's house was crazy! I had met a few of the guys before but it was complete chaos. Everyone was drinking, smoking and joking around. Jax and I made our way into the living room to grab a seat and get in on all the chatter, Opie and Donna followed. I will tell ya though the way I was squeezing Jax's hand makes me hope I was not breaking it. I mean I'm white knuckling it big time. I don't know why I'm so nervous everyone seems cool.

Just as I'm about to sit down Jax gets everyone's attention and says he'd like to introduce everyone to me and to Donna. I don't know how I'm going to keep everyone straight, I think to myself. Maybe I'll try to remember quirky things about each one. First off, there was Tig who has this crazy curly hair and was wearing a pretty awesome cuff. Jax told me that Tig is the Sergeant at Arms for the club. What that means I have NO idea. I just know it must be something important! He raises his hand to his goatee and nods a hello. Next is Bobby, I guess he impersonates Elvis. I am guessing by his stylish outfit he has on. Bobby seems like a nice guy as he looks at me, smiles and nods a hello. Chibs is next. It's easy to remember him because of the scars on his face and his Scottish accent. "Aye girly, how are ya?"I find myself smiling and telling Chibs I'm good. Something about him puts me at ease. Piney is up next but I already knew him because he's Opie's dad, and then, of course, there is Juice, whom I had also already met.

Just as we were finishing introductions, Gemma comes out and tells us dinner is ready. We all head for the dining room. There is a huge table sitting there. By the looks of it, she must do these dinners a lot! While Jax is joking around with his brothers over Juice acting like a complete blonde I turn to look at Donna and she's as wide eyed as I am and taking in the surroundings. I mean this is nothing close to anything we are used to at home. Donna is an only child and so am I. We don't have chaos in our houses. Once everyone is seated the dishes just start flying around, potatoes here, corn there, roast beef and rolls next. The amount of food is unbelievable! I'm just sitting there eating and studying these guys camaraderie. They really do seem like a family. Tig and Clay are arguing over someone named Alvarez. Bobby and Chibs are in a discussion over whose bike is better. I mean it's crazy! Donna and I are just sitting there eating because we were not sure of what else to do. We did not know what to say or how to act.

I look up and Gemma is studying me, which is fine. I know she's uncertain about Jax talking to someone straight laced like me and I get it, I don't fit in around here, at all, but it is what it is. Jax leans over and kisses me on the cheek and smiles and oh, boy does that start a load of teasing.

"Jacky boy, what are ya doin with the likes of her, she's too good fer ya." says Chibs.

"Better treat this one good Jax, she looks like a keeper" from Bobby.

"My son, with stars in his eyes over a girl, who's not a crow eater" jokes Clay.

And the others just all laughed. So this is how it is with these guys. They really are like brothers. They joke around with one another, they care about one another and it seems like what affects one brother affects all the others. I like it. This is a closeness most people don't even have with their real families. Here I was all worried that this dinner would be like walking into a torture chamber and actually, it's been friendly. The guys seem to want to get to know us better. They ask me what I want to do with my life after high school. I tell them I'm not certain yet, but was thinking that I might like to go into medicine. This kind of quiets them down and then Chibs tells me he was a medic. He can see why I'd like to go into such a rewarding field. Hmm, maybe I could gain some insight from Chibs before I make up my mind. The guys then turn to Donna and ask her what she thinks she'd like to do. Donna just kind of shakes her head and tells the guys that she's not real sure yet, that maybe she'd like to go into social work and help children. This kind of suprises me but I'll have to ask her about it later.

Jax seems happy with the way dinner is going and half way through, he grabs my hand and squeezes, almost as if to say, my family likes you, you're accepted. This brings a smile to my face. I turn to Donna. She and Opie seem to be having a good time as well. Donna looks like she has relaxed, smiling, and laughing. The guys can see that Opie likes her just as much as Jax likes me. They start giving Opie a hard time about Donna. Whew, the attention is off me for now.

Gemma asks me if I'd like to help her get dessert and I head into the kitchen with her. "So darlin, how do you like Jax's family? I'm sure it's not what you were expecting but each one of them has an irreplaceable spot in this family, at my table. They seem to like you, ya know, them joking around with Jax when he kissed you on the cheek, that's like acceptance. Just be warned, you hurt my boy, someone will hurt you."

All I could do is nod and tell her that I do in fact, like these men Jax calls brothers and that I would try my hardest not to hurt Jax. I wanted to tell her our relationship just started, I don't even know what he wants from me. We haven't even spoken about a status. I do not say anything, I just grabbed up some of the dessert plates and head back out to the table.

You would think that with all the food these guys just put down that there wouldn't be room for dessert. Man, was I wrong. I think they devoured just as much dessert as they did the actual meal. As soon as it seemed dinner was winding down Clay speaks up and tells them there is business to take care of and that they should all head to church. With that, the guys all make way to leave. All of them telling us how nice it was too meet us and that they are sure they will see us around.

Jax, Opie, Donna and I are the last ones to get up to leave. We ask Jax and Opie if they have to go to Church (whatever that is) and they tell me that no they do not because they are just prospects and not fully patched members. Gemma asks if we have time to help her clean up and so, the four of us all chipped in to get the cleanup done. When it was finally time for us to leave, we thanked Gemma for the wonderful dinner. I told her I hoped I was invited back sometime as I really enjoyed myself. Gemma hugged Opie, told Jax not to stay out too late and disappeared down the hallway.

Back on Jax's bike, I felt the tension drain out and I began to relax. This was a great evening. It was even better because Jax kissed me on the check in front of everyone. That showed affection and since I was totally starting to fall for Jackson Teller, I couldn't help but giggle. Maybe in the prince of SAMCRO I've found my prince charming. I know fairy tales are just that, fairy tales, but a girl can hope can't she? We say our goodbyes to Donna and Opie and leave.

Before we know it, Jax and I are at my house and it's time for me to go in. I hop off and hand him my helmet. He is shooting me that smile that melts me. As I try not to fall to the ground, he tells me to come back over to him. My legs are like jelly but I manage to walk back over and he frames my face and kisses me. My breath is completely knocked out of me. I want this kiss to go on forever and I think it almost does! I'm feeling so many things my heart is racing and I just want to keep on kissing him. It's perfect! He ends the kiss, places another little kiss to my lips, thanks me for going to his family dinner with him, starts his bike, and heads home.

What a night! I'm asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow and I'm dreaming about someone blonde haired, blue eyed with a prospect cut on his back. Life can't get any better!


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N – Thanks for reading! I love love love this chapter! I'm so excited to write the next one! Thanks for all your wonderful reviews! Keep them coming! I hope like me, you all can see a younger version of Jax and Tara in your imaginations! **_

_**Kurt Sutter is the genius! I don't own any of these characters. I'm just adding to some back story that we already know! **_

**Chapter 8**

As my alarm goes off, I'm really glad it's the last day of school. I'm so tired from staying out late last night with Jax; I wish I could just skip today and stay in bed until tomorrow but I can't. The last day of school means handing in final exams and cleaning out lockers and saying good bye to everyone. Being a senior is kind of sad. It means high school life is over. I'm excited to be going to college but at the same time it's like life is moving on and I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I've got this new thing with Jax going and I'm not sure how that's going to shake out and I'd like to go to medical school some day and that means I have to be real dedicated to my studies, but there's a big part of me that wants to just let it all go for a bit, all the responsibility and being "good girl" Tara and just live a little. I lay in bed so long thinking that I don't have time to really do anything with myself. I rush through my shower, pull my hair back into a quick pony tail, slap on some shorts, a tank and some flip flops and run for the door. No time to stop and chat with my parents so I wave, grab an apple, pick up my keys and head out.

Pulling into the parking lot, I see Jax leaning on his bike, waiting for me. I quickly park, get out and shut my door, just as he puts his arms around me and pushes me back up against my car kissing me. Oh man, I could get used to this every day! I savor this feeling for a bit until my mind comes back around and I realize I'm standing in the parking lot at school and I break the kiss. Not because I want to, though trust me, I could have skipped school and kissed Jax all day! I rub my thumb over my lips and look at Jax and give him a big smile. He grabs my hand without a word and we head into school. My mind was so jumbled from his kiss I didn't even realize I hadn't seen Opie and Donna until the bell was just about to ring. I turn to ask Jax where they are just as he starts telling me something. He tells me that Opie called him this morning and when he went to drop off Donna last night her dad was there waiting on the front porch for them to get back and that Donna's dad had told her she was grounded and not allowed to go anywhere for the entire summer. Donna's dad took her keys, told her to say her goodbyes to Opie and get in the house. After Donna's dad went in the house, Donna decided she wasn't going to listen, told Opie to get her the hell out of there and left. I couldn't do anything but stand there with my mouth gaping. Donna did what! So I ask him if he knows where Opie took her and Jax tells me she's at the clubhouse with Opie and that they stayed there last night. The bell rings, I kiss Jax on the lips real quick, tell him I'll see him after this class and head out at a run just barely making it before Mr. Miller closes the door.

During class, I decide that I'm going to leave school for the day no matter what. My best friend needs me. I make it through 1st hour barely. It seemed like the hour drug by and took forever. The bell finally rings and I stash my things in my bag and head out in search of Jax. When I find him I tell him my plan to leave and he gives me this big grin.

"I've corrupted Miss Smarty Pants, have I? Going to skip that last day of school?"

I slap him on the shoulder, tell him I'm going to the office to tell them I'm not feeling well, so they will let me go home. He laughs, tells me he'll see me in the parking lot and heads for the door. Walking into the office, my hands are sweating and I'm shaking like a leaf. I've never done this before. Mrs. Nettles is at the front desk as I walk in. She takes in my shaky appearance and asks me if I'm ok. When I tell her I don't feel well, she tells me to give her the exams I still needed to hand in and she'll see to it they get to my teachers. She then tells me to clean out my locker real quick and head home, telling me she hopes I feel better before Thursday night's graduation.

Just like that I'm free. High school is over and I walk out the door the very last time. I'm a little bit sad but at the same time exhilarated. I've never skipped school, never faked sick. This is something the uncool Tara would never do, but I just did it and it feels good! I walk out to where Jax is leaning on his bike and he asks me if I'm ready to go. I nod a yes to him and get in my car and follow him to TM.

This place is a ghost town in the mornings! There is no one milling around. Everyone still must be asleep from the night before. Jax and I walk into the club house to find Gemma cooking breakfast. Oh shit! I think Gemma's going to be mad because we are here during school hours but she's not. She looks us over, kind of smirks and asks us if we'd like something to eat. Jax looks at me and tells me that Opie and Donna must still be asleep and that we may as well grab something to eat while we are waiting for them to get up. We slide onto bar stools just as Gemma serves up a big stack of hotcakes. I didn't even realize how hungry I was until I got here!

I'm just about ¾ of the way through my hotcakes when a very sleepy disheveled looking Donna comes wandering out into the bar. Her eyes are all puffy from crying and she's wearing a big SAMCRO shirt and her shorts from yesterday. She yawns looks at Jax and I, and does a double take.

"What are you guys doing here at 8:30 in the morning on a school day?"

Jax grins and says he's here a lot at that time of the day on school days but Donna looks at me and I tell her I faked sick so I could come and make sure she's ok. As soon as those words leave my mouth the tears start streaming down her cheeks and she's saying she doesn't know what she's going to do. With that Jax looks at me with a helpless look on his face, grabs another plate of food and heads off towards the back where I can only assume Opie's still sleeping.

I pat the stool next to me and tell Donna to have a seat. Gemma comes wandering back out hearing Donna sniffle and asks her what's the matter. Donna and I run down what happened with Donna's parents about her and Opie and the club. Gemma sits there sipping her coffee and listens to what we have to say. When Donna is done explaining, Gemma gets up, refills her coffee and asks only one question.

"How old are you, darlin?"

Donna blows her nose and tells Gemma that she just turned eighteen two weeks ago. With that Gemma nods and tells her she's welcome to stay with Opie in the club house as long as she likes but maybe Donna should go home and talk with her parents and see if the damage is repairable. She then asks Donna if she'd like a cup of coffee or anything to eat. Donna shakes her head no, stands up and tells me to follow her back to the rooms. I stuff the last piece of hotcake into my mouth, take a swig of my coke to wash it down and follow her.


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N Thank you thank you thank you for all the wonderful reviews! Also a big thanks to Traci and my beta Anne for all the help they've given me with this story! I hope you are all as excited to see where Jax and Tara go in the next few chapters as I am! **_

_**KS owns EVERYTHING..i'm just merely expanding on his wonderful idea! **_

As I follow Donna down the hallway, I take note of all the pictures hanging there. I recognize some of the faces, such as Clay's and a much younger Piney. There is one picture of Chibs and a longer brown haired guy with their arms on each other's shoulders, giving the thumbs up, next to an awesome looking teal Harley Davidson motorcycle. This hallway is like a visual history book of SAMCRO. I've noticed the not so wonderful mug shot photos hanging on the wall, out in the clubhouse, but these are different. These photos speak of a brotherhood, a bond, something special.

Donna snaps me out of my musings when she turns and walks into the room. Jax and Opie are sitting inside, finishing up their breakfast. As soon as Opie sees Donna, he stops mid bite and gives her this tender, sweet look asking her how she's doing today. Seems he's fallen fast for my bestie and I'm happy. Opie seems like a great guy. Donna tells Opie she's a bit better but still unsure of what she should do. I take a seat on the bed, next to Jax, and ask Donna to tell us exactly what happened the night before. When she's done reiterating why her parents don't like her dating Opie and why they've forbid her to see me, Opie and Jax, we all agree it's time for some brain storming to figure out what we are going to do.

I tell Jax that his mom has graciously extended the invitation to Donna to sleep at the club house until she can get things straightened around at home or figure out where she is going to go. Opie seems to like that idea. Somehow I have a feeling she won't be staying here alone. Donna asks me if I'd be willing to take her home to grab some of her things and run interference between herself and her parents. I'm not too thrilled to be put in that position but what can I do? A girl's got to have clothes to wear especially in the beginning of a new relationship. I grab Jax's hand and whisper to him that we should let Donna and Opie have a minute. I then tell Donna that Jax and I will give her some time to get ready for the day and we will meet her out front in a little bit.

I head for the door and Jax steps out in front of me and grabs my hand pulling me into another closed door across the hallway. We enter into a room, not so different from Opie's, only this one has a very familiar scent to it. It smells just like Jax! I take a look around and notice a few of his personal belongings and pictures taped to the mirror. I walk over to those pictures and I notice the same long haired man that was in the picture with Chibs from the hallway. I feel Jax walk up behind me and put his arms around my waist and pull me into a hug. Resting his head on my shoulder, he tells me the photo I'm looking at is of his dad. I can't help but ask him the question that's come to mind.

"Your dad? I thought Clay was your father?"

Jax says, "Nah darlin, Clay is married to my ma. My dad, JT, died in a motorcycle accident 3 years ago."

I trace my finger on the photograph. Jax does resemble this man, JT. I can see where Jax gets that grin of his because JT is wearing that very same grin in the photo. I slowly turn around in Jax's arms and look into his eyes and tell him how very sorry I am about his father. He nods and tells me thank you and then takes my face in his hands. He looks at me with a look I can't quite decipher and then kisses me. All of our kisses so far have been filled with longing and passion, this kiss was different. It was slow and filled with emotion. As he kisses me, he strokes my cheek with his thumb. I feel his tongue roam my lips and he deepens the kiss and then pulls away. He smiles and then says something I've been hoping to hear.

"Will you be my girlfriend, Tara?"

Before I can say anything he goes on to say,

"I know my life isn't easy and I'm not the type of guy you should be with. I love this club and being in a relationship with someone involved with SAMCRO isn't going to be easy. There will be times when I have things to do both here in Charming and on a run out of Charming. I will probably have to break plans because of the club and for that I am sorry but, I hope you will give us a chance. There is just something about you, it makes me want to be the best me I can be."

I'm pretty sure I looked like an idiot standing there in the middle of his room with a silly grin on my face but I totally cannot help it. Five days ago I didn't think Jax Teller even knew who I was and today he's asked me to be his girlfriend. I pretty much can't speak, so I just stand there and nod my head yes and smile. I have to remind myself to breathe because I cannot believe this gorgeous blond hair, blue eyed guy is mine!

Just as I open my mouth to speak and give him an actual yes, there is a knock at the door to Jax's room. Donna and Opie come walking in. Seems they were looking for us out front and when they didn't see us out there they decided to come check Jax's room. Donna shoots me a look as if asking what did they just walked in on and I tell her with a look I'll fill her in on our way to her house. I give Jax a quick peck on the cheek and tell him I'll see him later, Donna hugs Op and tells him she'll meet him back here in a bit and we head out to my car to get the dreaded confrontation over with.

I barely make it a step outside of the club house when Donna tells me to spill it. I tell her about Jax asking me to be his girlfriend and she squeals and does a little dance right there in the parking lot. I can't help but laugh and join in. I know, I'm sure we look like two idiots but damn so far this has been an awesome day! Just as I finish jumping around in happiness Juice pulls in on his bike, shoots us a look like he thinks we're crazy and walks into TM. Donna and I get in my car laughing so hard we've got tears spilling down our cheeks. As soon as I can take a breath, I ask Donna what's going on with her and Opie. She gets this huge grin on her face and tells me that Opie is so sweet and understanding and that last night after her dad went ape shit on her he brought her back to TM and they laid on his bed talking all night and cuddling. He even offered to sleep on the floor so she didn't have to sleep in the bed with him but they ended up falling asleep in each other's arms. I ask her if she felt awkward this morning waking up with Opie .

"Ya know Tar, I didn't. Right from that first night when he picked me up at your place for burgers there was this feeling between us. He puts me at ease. When I'm with him I feel safe, almost as if he's this big giant teddy bear I want to hug."

It's kind of hard thinking of an MC prospect as being a teddy bear but if that's the way he makes her feel I'm all for a relationship between them. Just then Donna's house comes into view. All traces of a smile disappear from her face and a look of worry replaces it. I've got to admit I'm a little worried about what's going to happen when we walk into that house!

I pull into the driveway and park behind what used to be Donna's car. It's where I always park when I'm here. Part of me feels like I'm coming home to my second home but another part of me feels like Donna's house is now a forbidden place. I grab Donna's hand and squeeze and tell her it will be ok, one way or the other. I pull my hand away and, ask her if she's ready and we step out of the car.


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N Sorry this chapter is kind of short. I had a problem with how to write this one. Had to ask for the advice of my friend Traci and sometimes co-writer! Would also like to thank Anne my Beta! Hope you all enjoy! Thanks everyone for the reviews and the favorites and notifications! I appreciate them all! **_

_**Same goes for this chapter..I don't own…KS does! **_

Chapter 10

Donna and I walked around the car and headed for the front door. It almost looks like no one is home. I'm thinking we will get lucky and get in and out and no one will be the wiser. Donna opens the door and we hear the television. Uh oh. Donna glances back at me, probably to make sure I'm still here. We walk down the hallway a little bit and out steps Patty, Donna's mom. She's been baking. That's not good. When Patty bakes she's upset about something. Before Donna can even say a word her mom starts yelling at her about how worried she's been and how irresponsible Donna is being. She's just standing there with her hands on her hips letting Donna have it. I know I must look like I'm scared to death. I can feel my eyes wide open, an expression of disbelief. I have never heard Patty yell before. Patty is usually easy going and kind of quiet. This is a whole new Patty I'm seeing today! Donna can't even get a word in edge wise. Instead of trying to talk to her mom, she just kind of nods her head, throws her hand up and turns and heads for her room. I turn to follow and Patty grabs my arm, a pleading look on her face.

"Please Tara, can't you talk to Donna? Can't you make her see that running around with those heathens can be no good for her? I don't want to lose my daughter. She's in danger running with the Sons!"

I don't know what to say. I'm not going to do that. It would be wrong of me to try and change Donnas' mind. I mean, I am dating Jax. I have no words. I have nothing to say. I just look at Patty and I shake my head no, that I can't. I do promise her one thing though, and I will try my best to make sure Donna's safe.

Patty looks at me with the saddest look. It is almost as if she thinks we are doomed or dying. I see a tear slide down her cheek just as she turns and heads back into the kitchen, to her baking. It makes me sad. Patty has been a second mother to me since we were little kids. I feel bad knowing we've both let her down.

I walk down the hallway to Donna's room where she's frantically throwing things in a duffel bag. Tears are streaming down her cheeks. She looks at me and asks what her mother said to me. I tell her about what Patty asked of me and how I have no right to ask Donna to do that when I am doing the same thing as her. She nods sadly, zips up her bag and heads for the door. At first I thought she might turn and go into the kitchen to try and talk to her mom but at the last minute she changes her mind, calls out a goodbye, stiffens her spine and walks out the door. I glance back just in time to see Patty slide down the door jam, sit on the floor and bury her head in her knees. Part of me wants to walk back and tell her it will all be ok; Donna will be ok, but I don't. It wouldn't help. I pull the door open, walk out and close it behind me.

I walk to my car, get in and just sit there for a minute. I take a deep breath before I look at Donna to see how she's holding up. Her eyes are dry and she's got a set look to her face. She turns to me and with determination she tells me,

"Start the damn car will ya Tar, let's get the hell out of here."

I start the car, back out onto the road and head back towards Teller-Morrow. Donna is quiet the first few miles back. I know how she's feeling. She's hurt her parents don't trust her to be ok. She's hurt because she knows she's disappointed her parents, and she's scared. I know she's scared. How could she not be? She's just left the only life she's known for a guy she's only known less than a week. I mean I care about Jax but I'm not sure if faced with the same situation I could do what Donna did. One part of me thinks she's brave. Another part of me, that will never tell her, thinks she's stupid.

To help with the silence, I click on the radio and "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain comes on. I listen to it for a second before deciding on turning it. Sappy songs probably aren't good to listen to right now. Flipping through the stations I hear "Wannabe" by The Spice Girls and I leave it there. Singing under my breath with the wind blowing through my window I let the stress of the morning roll off. I'm not really paying any attention to Donna until I hear her start singing,

"I'll tell ya what I want what I really really want. So tell me what you want what you really really want. I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha"

I can't help laughing and join in. By the time we get into town, both Donna and I are singing at the top of our lungs. We are sitting at a stop light waiting for the light to turn green and I look out the corner of my eye and see Jax and Opie sitting out front of Floyd's grinning our way. Oh shit! I immediately stop singing, punch Donna in the shoulder and point at the guys. She stops singing. We've just been caught being idiots! Jax and Op motion for Donna and I to come to Floyd's. I'm not sure I want to! I can just hear them teasing us now! I whip a U turn and park in one of the side spots on the main strip. Before I can even get out of the car, I hear Jax and Opie singing loudly out of tune. I have no idea what they are singing and it doesn't matter because it's directed at how silly Donna and I were being. Jax doesn't even have to say anything. He's got a silly side grin going on and Opie is just out and out laughing! Before I can defend myself Jax says to us,

"great singing girls, you want I could set you two up to sing at the club house on the weekends."

"Ha ha funny Teller! I don't think so." and with that I walk over to Jax and give him a kiss. He looks surprised but I can tell he digs it. After the stress of the morning, I needed that. Jax asks us what we've got planned and when I tell him nothing, he nods to Opie real quick. I ask Jax what the nod was for but he won't tell me. He just asks Op if he can make sure my car gets back to TM for him, hands me his helmet and tells me to plant my ass on his bike. "Where are you taking me Jax?"

I may as well have been talking to a brick wall because he acted like he hadn't heard the question. He climbs on the bike, starts it up and we head down the road and out of Charming city limits. I worry for a second about Donna, then realize she will be fine. In fact, I know we all will be just fine.


	11. Chapter 11

I love riding on the back of Jax's Harley. After the stress of the past day, this is exactly what I needed! There is something about the wind blowing on my face and the way everything just passes by, that is just so relaxing. I've got my arms around Jax, resting my head on his shoulder wondering where he's taking me. He feels my chin resting on his shoulder and turns toward me and kisses my cheek. It doesn't seem possible I didn't know him before 6 days ago. Whatever this is between him and I just seems right. It's not like I haven't dated before but there is just something magnetizing between Jax and I that's totally different from anything I've experienced before, almost like we are drawn together, something unexplainable.

I watch the countryside fly by for a little while longer and then Jax slows down and turns down a barely visible two track lane leading back into a very wooded area. Where the heck is he taking me? Just as I'm about to ask him, the woods break wide open and we are sitting above the ocean on a cliff. It's breath taking! Bright blue water and a warm summer breeze, it's like heaven on earth! Jax comes to a stop and turns the bike off, motioning me to go ahead and climb off so he can put down the kick stand. When he's done securing the bike, he walks over to where I'm standing, putting his arms around me from behind and rests his head on my shoulder.

"Do you like it here, babe?"

"I love it here, Jax! However did you find this place?"

Jax goes on to explain to me that a very wealthy man in town named Oswald owns this piece of property and that he allows Jax to come here sometimes when he really needs a place to get away and to just be Jax, away from SAMCRO and the town of Charming.

It's so peaceful here. Down below I can hear the waves crashing on the shore. There are seagulls flying above. It's like no one else exists in this world except for me and my guy. Jax grabs my hand leading me to a flight of stairs that I hadn't noticed before. When we reach the bottom I see a little alcove going back into the rock of the cliff face. There is the remnants of a bon fire. I ask Jax if this was his fire and he tells me sometimes instead of coming out here during the day, he likes to come at night, light a fire and read.

"Read? You like to read, Jax?"

He laughs at me and tells me that just because he is prospecting for an MC it doesn't make him stupid. We make our way over to the alcove where he's got a blanket tucked safely away from the weather. He spreads the blanket out for us to sit on. I lean down and take off my boots and lower myself to the blanket. Jax does the same rolling up his pant legs also. I just can't let the book reading thing drop so I ask him what he likes to read.

"Mostly classics really. I'm also a Shakespeare fan, my two favorites being Othello and Hamlet. I also like Romeo and Juliet."

I can't help but giggle. My big bad wanna be biker likes Shakespeare! Me being the smarty pants I am, I just have to make sure he's not feeding me a line of bullshit so I have to ask,

"Name a few of the characters from Hamlet then if you really read it."

"Well there is Hamlet, Claudius, Gertrude, Polonius, Laertes, Ophelia…. Do you need to know more?"

I sure don't. Wow! He really did read that book. We talk about Hamlet for a little bit about how Hamlet is sent by the ghost of his father to avenge his father's death and how everything gets twisted and turned and he kills Ophelia's father, Polonius, leading Ophelia to kill herself. I then tell Jax my favorite Shakespeare of all time is indeed Romeo and Juliet. I tell him about the ratty old copy I have back at home on my book shelf.

"Jax, I love the tragedy in that play. It's so sad at the end when Romeo thinks that Juliet is dead and so he drinks the poison and just as soon as he's died, she wakes up and takes the dagger to herself."

I'm really so lost in thought thinking about Romeo and Juliet I don't realize that I say out loud, "I wish for a love like that some day. I mean, not one where we both end up dead but one where the feelings are strong enough to do what they did."

Just as I finish my sentence I come out of my trance and realize I really did say that out loud. I can totally feel my cheeks turning red. Jax brings his hands to my face turning me to face him, he kisses my lips and when he pulls away he smiles and says

"How do you know we aren't it? I know we haven't known each other very long at all but I feel this pull toward you. When I'm not with you, I'm thinking about you, time goes by slowly until I'm back near you."

I can't say anything. Instead I lean in and kiss him. What I meant to be a short little kiss turns into a kiss I have only dreamt about. Before I know it, Jax has me lying on my back on the blanket with him laying on top of me. His hands are roaming my body, he's cupping my breasts with his hands, running his thumbs over my nipples outside of my shirt. My hands travel to his back under his shirt and my nails dig in. I can't help it. The feeling of him and I like this on the beach is better than anything I've felt before. He starts to pull my shirt off, looking at me to see if I object. When I don't say no, he continues and throws my shirt on the blanket next to us. Somewhere in my head there's this little voice telling me I should stop this, that it's not been long enough but his touch just feels too good. I reach up pulling his shirt off over his head. What I didn't realize is just how perfectly built he is. I mean, I know Jax is hot but with his shirt off, he's even more so. He reaches behind me to undo my bra, one flick of his fingers and the hooks are undone. As he takes my bra off I take in a deep breath. Am I going to let him do this? His mouth leaves mine and he leaves a trail of kisses to my nipples. He's got one hand flicking one of them while his mouth is on the other. Our hips are grinding together and I can feel his erection. He's hard as a rock! As he's kissing one nipple, he's started tugging at the button on my jeans. It's now or never, either I stop him or we're doing this. I don't have the willpower to stop him, the button on my jeans comes undone and I lift my hips to let him remove my pants. He stops for a minute, his blue eyes taking me in.

"You're beautiful, Tara."

I can feel my cheeks heat. I'm lying here, fully exposed to him. Well except I still have on my underwear, which thank god I wore a brand new pair! This isn't my first time but it's different with Jax. Way more intense than anything I've ever felt. I sit up undoing the SAMCRO belt buckle he's wearing. There is a silent question in his eyes, almost asking me if I'm sure, almost saying if I take off his pants there is no turning back. With a slight nod, I pull down his jeans, throwing them out of the way. It's just him and me in boxers and underwear. He reaches out and caresses my cheek with his thumb, bringing his mouth back down to my lips, lowering himself slowly back down onto me. God I want this! I can feel myself getting wet. I'm arching against him, begging for his touch.

He slowly trails his hand down between my breasts and over my stomach. I feel my stomach muscles quiver before his hand reaches the top of my thong. He doesn't bother taking them off but pushes his hand underneath the fabric cupping me. I feel his fingers slowly work their way down to my core and he brushes them over my clit. A moan escapes my mouth. I reach down and pull away his boxers. Taking him in my hand, I start stroking him. I hear Jax mumble an "mmmm" He grabs my thong and pulls them down and throws them aside. I feel him insert his fingers, all the while he's still stroking my clit. I finally cannot take it anymore. With my hand, I guide him to me. He enters me and the world stops. It feels so fucking right.

"You're so fucking tight, baby. This feels so good."

I grabbed onto his ass, making him thrust into me harder and harder. I cannot stand it anymore and I let go into my release. I feel Jax's muscles tighten and he cums, too. Our breathing is labored and he pulls out and rolls over onto the blanket on his back, a shit-eating grin spreading across his face.

"This isn't why I brought you here, Tar. You know that, right?"

I teasingly tell him back I don't believe that for one second. He laughs and tells me that ok, maybe it was on his mind but he never expected it. I roll over looking for my bra and underwear and Jax stops me.

"You are beautiful. I wasn't just saying that because I was about to be inside you."

I smile and tell him I know. I find my clothes and get dressed, still trying to catch my breath. Jax does the same. After we are dressed, we sit there for a bit, talk about everything and nothing at all and watch the sun go down. Right before it gets completely dark, Jax tells me he thinks we should go. We didn't bring any sweatshirts or jackets and it might be a chilly ride back to Charming. I tell him to hold on for one more minute, get up on my knees and straddle him. Pushing him down to the ground and I kiss him. I pull away just before things get too heated again and before I can't stop myself. He grins up at me asking what that was for.

"Just a simple thank you , Jax, for a perfect day."

We put back on our socks and shoes, fold up the blanket and stow it away and head back up the steps to the bike. We take one last look at the moon and the stars before climbing on and heading back to Charming.


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N Thanks everyone for the author and story favorites! I hope you all are enjoying reading this story as much as I am writing it! Thanks to my pre-reader Traci and my Beta Anne! You guys make it possible for me to keep on going with this! _

_Reviews keep me going! _

_Sutter owns everyone! I own nothing, I am not worthy lol. No infringement intended! _

I woke up the next morning and went to stretch. Oh my god, am I sore. Every thing hurts, and I do mean everything! Thinking about yesterday brings a blush to my face. I've never known myself to be so bold. Jax seems to be bringing out new things in me. This was a definite first for me. Yes I wasn't a virgin but I hadn't ever done anything like that before. No where even close unless you count 10 seconds close. The guy I did it with was an old friend. Two summers ago we agreed we should just go for it, because both of us were still virgins and we wanted to know what it was like. So we did, and ten seconds later it was over. Now that I've experienced it for real, I want more!

With my thoughts turning to Jax and what he would do to me next time, I barely heard the knock at my door. My mom peeks her head in, asking me if I'm awake. I nod sleepily. She comes in and asks me what tonight's plans were for graduation. CRAP! I forgot all about graduation! She asks me if Jax and I would like to go out for dinner with them after the ceremony. I tell her I will check with Jax and see what his plans are and then let her know. She pats my knee, says she will talk to me later and heads out the door for work. I love my parents. They trust me as a person. They know they've raised a smart daughter with good judgement. That's why being with Jax, isn't bothersome for me. My dad stops in long enough to peek in, say hello and that he will see me later. A few minutes later, I hear the garage door close. Home alone. I love the peace and quiet. My phone rings, it's Jax on the other end.

"Hey babe, what are you wearing?"

A smile spreads across my face before answering

" Wouldn't you like to know? You could come and find out. Mom and Dad just left for work."

I hear "Be there in a few." and the phone hangs up.

I was actually just kidding with him, but, I would like to see him this morning. I hear the roar of his motorcycle and I run downstairs to unlock the door for him. I'm standing behind the door wearing a big T-shirt and a pair of boy shorts. He walks in and I close the door behind him. I turn around and he's got that shit eating grin on his face again.

"What Teller? Stop your smiling."

" I can't help it Tar, you're just so damn hot. I love you all mussed up in the morning."

Oh shit! I forgot to look in the mirror before I came downstairs. Hope I don't look like hell! I tell him to take his shoes off and follow me up to my room. When we get back up there I lay back down on my bed. Jax lays down beside me

" Hey Tar, I got so carried away last night I forgot to wear protection."

I love how he's kind of stammering over this. I'm a smart girl. Does he really think I'd have slept with him without any thing to protect against pregnancy?

"I'm on birth control, Jax. I was put on it a few years ago because I get really bad cramps. It's all good. I definitely don't want any kids any time soon!"

Jax nods at me and leans back on my pillows with his hands behind his head and his feet crossed. He closes his eyes and seems to drift off to sleep. I decide sleeping sounds like a good idea. I snuggle down and fall into comfortable sleep.

I wake up to the sound of a phone ringing. It's not mine. I shake Jax awake and he looks disoriented for a second and then realizes his phone is ringing. He hops up, grabbing the phone from the pocket of his cut,

"Ya Ope"

I hear talking on the other end. Jax just listens and then I hear him tell Opie he'll be right there but before he hangs up he tells Opie I'll be with him.

"Tar, get up and get dressed. Op and I have some things to do tonight before graduation and Donna doesn't want to hang around the clubhouse by herself. "

I nod an ok to Jax and he leans over and gives me the sweetest little kiss on my forehead. It's so hard to make myself want to get out of this bed with him in it! I slowly slide out of bed. I was enjoying being cuddled up with Jax. I ask him if I have a quick minute to shower and he says ya and then asks if he can join me. I just laugh and tell him no because if he did we wouldn't be making it to the clubhouse any time soon. He laughs and lays back down on my bed, hands behind his head, feet crossed as he watches me walk away down the hall.

I hurried through my shower, pulled my hair into a pony tail, threw on a pair of short jean shorts, a doleman tank and a pair of gladiator sandels and I was ready to go. Jax said I should probably follow him to TM in my car since he didn't know if he'd be done in time to get me home to get ready for the ceremony. Oh crap! I had forgotten to ask him about dinner! .

"Hey Jax, I almost forgot to ask you, my mom and dad want us to go to dinner with them tonight after the ceremony. You available?

" Sorry Tar, I think mom's got something planned for Op and I at the club. Will they let us go another night?"

I tell him it's not a big deal and that I'm sure another night would be just fine. I grab my purse and my keys and follow Jax out the front door.

We pull up to TM and the place is hopping! Cars and people are everywhere. Looks like a good day for making money! Jax parks his bike in the usual spot but before he can even get his helmet off Opie and Juice come out of the club house. By the look on their faces, they've got something pretty important to do. Jax looks angry. Before I get out of my car and get over there, the other two hop on their bikes and head out of the lot. Jax shoots me a little grin and a wave and takes off hot on their tail. I turn around and head for the clubhouse doors just as Chibs, Bobby, and Clay come walking out. They seem really occupied so I just smile and wave and head inside to find Donna. She's right where I thought she would be, sitting at the bar talking to Gemma, drinking a coffee. I walk up and take the stool next to her.

"Hey Tar, how are ya today?"

I give her a smile and tell her I'm wonderful. She goes to ask me a question, then thinks better of it. I'm guessing because Gemma is right there. Gemma tells me good morning and heads back into the kitchen. Donna finishes her coffee and motions for me to follow her back to her room. I sit down on her bed and just start grinning. She's looking through her things to see if she brought anything suitable to wear to graduation and then turns and notices my grin.

"What's got you so happy today, Tar?"

She no more than gets the words out of her mouth, when I hear her say,

"Oh my god, you and Jax….."

I start laughing and I nod a yes. She brings her hand to her mouth to cover it and then tells me she wants all the sick and twisted details. I tell her about the ride to the place on the water and how it was so beautiful. I describe to her the alcove with the fire pit, and about how we ended up having sex. She's all but swooning at the details.

"I cannot believe you and Jax have already slept together! It's been a week since he asked you out. One week!"

"Well Donna, just like you said, you know Opie is the one for you. There is this pull between Jax and I; and I think he could be the one for me. Everything with him feels so right, so perfect!"

Donna giggles and then tells me she has to admit something to me.

"Opie and I slept together that night after the dinner at Gemma's. I was upset from what my father did and we were talking and cuddling and one thing led to another. I could have stopped him, but I didn't want to. He's just got this gentleness about him and I needed that from him that night. He made me feel better. Opie took forefront in my mind and the horrible things my dad said and did were pushed away for a bit. It's been a week Tar but I seriously think I could be falling in love with him!"

I completely understand what she's saying because some where in the back of my mind since yesterday I've been thinking that very same thing, that I could be falling in love with Jax. My mom always told me when I meet the person I'm supposed to be with that I'll just know, and that there won't be anyone else for me. I always doubted her when she said that. How out of all the people in this world, how could there only be one that was my destiny? Now, I see the error of that thinking!

I nod to Donna letting her know I understand what she's saying. Just then there is a knock on the door. Donna walks over to open it, letting Gemma step inside.

"Hey girls, I just wanted to let you know that tonight after graduation there is going to be a celebratory party here for Jax and Opie. Tonight is the nightthe boys will be full patch members. They don't know it yet, so don't say anything to them. The club voted this morning and the vote was unanimous. The guys want Jax and Op to be a permanent part of SAMCRO. I think they wouldlike it if you girls were here to see them begin the rest of their life!"

I look at Donna, Donna looks at me, we both shrug and tell Gemma that ya, we'd like to be there and thank her for the invite to such an important night. We've gotta act nonchalant in front of Gemma. Don't want to act like giddy teenagers. Gemma nods, says ok then and walks out of the room. Donna jumps up to close to door real quick before we both start jumping up and down with happiness. Our boys are going to be full- fledged SAMCRO members!

"Don, I think this calls for new outfits. With all these crow eaters and sweet butts hanging around we need to look HOT for our guys. Let's go shopping!"

Donna finishes getting ready for the day,and I apply some makeup since I didn't get any time this morning. We walk outside into the California sunshine and head out to Lodi to the big mall. There is some serious shopping about to be done today!


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N I'm having so much fun writing this! Thank you all for the wonderful reviews! I'd also like to thank my reader Traci and my Beta Anne! Without you guys I'm sure I'd have given up a long time ago! As usual NO infringement is meant. I love Kurt's version of Sons of Anarchy and I wouldn't want to steal anything that is his! He's truthfully the genius behind all of this! _

The trip to Lodi was, for me, relaxing. I put some Jewel on the radio and Donna and I sang almost the whole way there. There's something about riding in the car with your best girlfriend, singing to songs, that seems to make the world feel a thousand miles away. The only thing that matters is the wind in your hair from the window being rolled down and the lyrics flowing out of your mouth. Once we got to the mall, Donna and I agree that whatever we buy to wear tonight for the party at SAMCRO has to be classier than something a crow eater would wear but yet still smoking hot. Money was an issue too. I had offered to buy Donna's outfit for the night, seeing how she's going through a rough patch right now. I told her to consider it her graduation present and she accepted.

Walking through the mall, we decided to stop into Wet Seal and see what they had, right off the bat I noticed a pair of ripped up jeans, that were screaming my name. I grabbed a size 5 and kept on browsing. Donna had wandered over to the other side of the store. She was checking out a red loose fitting off the shoulder crop top. I told her it would look really cute on her and she snatched one up to try on. Next thing I found that I wanted to try on, was what looked like a black vest but was a shirt. Totally cute! Donna said she didn't need any jeans to go with her shirt and so we went back to the dressing rooms to try on what we found. Donna and I grabbed the biggest dressing room we could and set our stuff down and began trying on our clothes. I threw on the jeans and the vest and turned around to see Donna standing there in the crop shirt and her shorts from earlier. That shirt on her was HOT!

"Don, you've got to let me get you that shirt! You look smoking! The only thing you need to add to it is a belly chain!"

Donna looked in the mirror and you could tell she liked what she was seeing. A slow smile crept to her lips and she did a bit of a turn and then started giggling.

"Opie won't even want to look at one of those sluts! His eyes will be all on me tonight with this outfit on!"

And her voice dipped lower and she says with an evil grin,

"Not to mention I think I'll show him a Reeeaaaalllllyyyyy good time tonight after the party."

I couldn't help but laugh. I'm so happy for Donna to have found Opie. For a while before we met the guys, she was getting kind of quiet and reserved. It was nice having my old, kind of crazy friend back! Before I could turn around and look in the mirror Donna tells me that I've chosen the right combo.

"Tar, that shirt is dipped so low I think Jax will have a really hard time keeping his eyes away from your tits, and those jeans, well, they look painted on! You look great, and your ass looks good!"

That's the awesome thing about going shopping with your bestie. You can totally trust what she's saying and vice versa, not to mention when your bestie tells you your ass looks great, you don't think it's weird! It's normal to look at your friend's tits and ass and compliment her on them, at least in mine and Donna's world.

We quickly change out of our new duds and head to the cashier to check us out. Time's running short and graduation is in just a few short hours! We stop on the way out and grab a bite to eat in the food court and then head on back to Charming.

…

I cannot believe Graduation is over! The ceremony went by in a blur with my heart pounding in my chest the whole time. I'm glad high school is over in a way, but it's honestly kind of scary. The future is whatever I want to make it at this point. I think back on today and realize I always thought I wanted to leave and go to college right out of high school but I'm not sure anymore. My mom shakes me out of my reverie to give me a hug and tell me how proud she is of what I've accomplished. Dad is standing behind her, with a grin on his face, and he pats me on the back telling me his little girl has grown up into a fine young woman. I step out of the hug from my mom and up walks Jax, cap and gown on and his cut clutched in his hand. It's almost as if he feels weird without it and can't wait to put it back on. He says an easy hello to my mom and dad, shooting them one of his smiles, that almost makes him seem innocent.

"Mr. and Mrs. Knowles I'm Jax, Jackson Teller. It's really nice to meet you."

He shakes my mom and dad's hand and then tells them what a wonderful daughter they have. Mom and Dad, being the wonderful parents they are, give a little bit of a laugh at his ease in speaking with them and readily agree. Mom tells me she's going to go look for Donna and her parents and see if she can't try and smooth some of the situation with them over a little bit. She grabs my dad's hand and they walk off.

"Ah, finally babe, a minute alone with you. You going to be at the clubhouse tonight? We're having a bit of a party to celebrate Op and I making it out of this shit hole and I'd love to have you there. I'm sure Donna's going to be there, well where else would she be, I guess?"

I laugh and tell him there isn't anywhere I'd rather be. I didn't see a reason to mention that his mom had already invited Donna and I, so I just let that be. Next thing I hear is

"Jackie Boy, there ye are. Been looking all over the place fer ya. Congratulations brother! You and Op did it. How you did it with all the skipping school and such I'll never know but we're all proud o ya!

I still couldn't get used to Chib's accent. I love it! I could stand there and listen to him talk forever.

"Hey there, girlie, you comin to the party tonigh? It's gonna be a crazy one, our Jackie Boy here and Op is the guest of honor. Wouldn't be righ if you didn' come!"

I laugh and tell Chibs that of course I'll be there. Wouldn't miss it for the world and that it would be fun getting to know them all a little better. Chibs just smiles and says

"Oh ye'll get to know us better alrigh, darlin. A lot better."

And with that he waves a good bye and heads for the door. I can't help but wonder what in the world he means by getting to know them a lot better but I guess I'll just have to wait and find out. I don't have time to worry about it now. I've gotta get out of here and get ready for the party! I tell Jax I've got to find Donna so we can go get ready for the party. He says he should get going too and that he's going round up Opie and head over to the clubhouse.

"I'll see you there in a little bit, ya?"

I tell him yes, that I'll be there soon. He leans in and gives me a kiss and as usual the world disappears and it's just Jax and I until I feel tapping on my shoulder.

"Well if it isn't the teacher's pet, kissing what should be mine."

Ima. I am really starting to get irritated with this bitch. She's always making comments. One of these days I'm not going to like what she says and I'm going to beat the living shit out of her, but for now it's not worth ruining my night.

"He's mine. If he wanted you, he'd have been kissing you, not me, but he wasn't."

She smirks, leans over, kisses Jax on the cheek and walks away. Just then Donna and Op walk up,

"Man that girl's got some nerve Tar, you want me to go say something to her?" asks Donna.

"Nope, it's alright. After tonight, I hope she'll take off on her broom and land in someone else's town and pick on someone else's boyfriend."

Jax openly laughs out loud at the broom comment.

"That's my girl. I knew you had spunk. Ima's going to push you a bit too far one of these days and I hope like hell I'm there to see what happens. That bitch has been stalking me ever since she moved here last year. I told her once I'd take her for a ride on my bike and ever since then she just thinks I'm hers. Wish to fuck she'd get it out of her head and take a hike!"

I agree. I do wish she'd just leave. I tell Jax that Donna and I have got to run and I'll see him in a bit. I turn to walk away and he grabs my hand and pulls me back;

"Do you think you would want to stay at the clubhouse tonight with me?"

Oh yes, I would. I tell him I'll try to figure out a way and we both go our separate ways. Tonight is going be a hell of a night. I have a feeling it's going to be one of the best I've ever had.


	14. Chapter 14

_A/n…This chapter was really hard for me to write. I've been to parties before of course but never anything like what I would think a SAMCRO party would be like. I don't think I did it justice but I just couldn't get it right between my head and paper. Hope you enjoy it anyway! _

_As usual..no copyright intended. EVERYONE here is a product of Kurt Sutter and his genius mind! I could never pretend to come up with anything even close to what he did! Thanks for bringing Jax, Tara, Opie and the rest of them to us! _

_Enjoy! Keep leaving those reviews! _

Donna and I decided to get ready at my house. We didn't want the guys to see us until we made our grand entrance. She had decided to wear a pair of ripped up jeans with her cropped red shirt and a pair of heeled black boots I had kicking around. I was wearing my top and jeans I bought earlier but was having a hard time deciding on what shoes to wear. None of the shoes I put on looked right, except for my flip flops.

"I think I'll just wear flip flops. I don't care. I look good, my tits are almost hanging out, it shouldn't matter what shoes I'm wearing. Jax's face isn't ever going to leave my chest!"

Donna laughs and agrees with me. I take one more look in the mirror to make sure my hair and makeup are exactly how I want them. I don't have to worry about my parents seeing what I've got on because they decided to go out to dinner like they had planned and were still not home. I shoot a look at Donna, ask her if she's ready to go and we head out the door. I'm so excited it's hard to breathe. I don't know what to expect. I've heard about SAMCRO parties and that they are pretty crazy but never having been to one I don't know what crazy entails. My heart's racing a bit and my hands are a bit shaky on the steering wheel, as I navigate the streets of Charming. I look over at Donna and she seems to be fidgety. I think she's nervous, too!

We pull into the lot at TM and there are people everywhere! I see people from school, people from town, and lots of men wearing Sons of Anarchy cuts. I can hear music playing all the way out to where I'm parked by the road. The place is hopping! I take a deep breath; Donna does the same and we open our doors and step out. I think it's going to be a pain in the ass to find Jax and Opie but by the time we get almost up to TM I see them come walking out, headed our way.

"Well look at our lovely ladies Op! They are smoking tonight!"

Jax grabs me by the waist and pulls me to him, kissing my neck. He whispers in my ear, telling me how hot I look, and that he plans on having a little fun with me later on and I shouldn't get too used to wearing the top I have on, because with what I'm teasing, it's not going to be on me long. I can feel my cheeks heat with his words. I lift his chin so his mouth meets mine and I tell him I can't wait. Jax gives me that grin of his before letting me go. He grabs my hand and starts pulling me toward the club house where more people are spilling out! I look back to make sure Donna and Opie are following but they are lost in the crowd already.

Jax keeps a tight grip on my hand as we make our way through the clubhouse back to his room. He unlocks the door and pulls me in, slamming the door behind us. Before I even know what's going on he's got me pinned up against the wall kissing my neck, making his way down my cleavage. I can't even think straight. His hands are going for the buttons on my shirt when there is a knock at the door. I hear Jax mutter a pretty quiet "Fuck" and then tells me to stay right where I'm at, as he goes to answer the door. Thankfully, I'm behind the door, so whoever is on the other side can't see me, because I'm pretty sure you can tell what I was up to a few seconds before.

"Jackson, what are you doing back here? This is your party. Clay's been looking everywhere for you and wants you to head to the chapel. "

"Ok Ma, I'll be there in a sec."

"You'd better, Jackson. Tell Tara I said Hi, when she comes out from behind the door."

Jax just laughs and closes the door as his mother walks away. I am mortified! She knows! How am I going to look her in the eye the rest of the night? Jax must be able to tell what's running through my mind because he gives a little chuckle and pulls me in for a kiss, telling me that it's alright, not to worry about his mom.

"Don't get too out of the mood while you're out there. We are continuing what I started when I get done with church."

With that, he lights a cigarette and heads out the door. I stay there for a minute more, trying to catch my breath and straighten myself up. I throw the lock on the door and close it behind me, heading out into the chaos, hoping to find Donna. I leave the relative quiet of the hallway and step out into the main part of the club house. What I see is unlike anything I've ever seen before! There are men and women doing all sorts of things that are usually done in private, right out in the open. There is one guy wearing a cut with a shaved head and tattoos getting a blow job from a crow eater right next to the pool table where two other guys are playing a game. I quickly look away and head for the door outside. Before I can make it there, I'm stopped by a blonde Son with spikey hair. His cut says he's from Washington.

"You look a little lost? You don't look like one of these crow eaters, so who are you?"

I'm unsure about whether or not I should trust this guy but I tell him I'm Jax's girlfriend. He tells me his name is Kozik and that he's a friend of Jax's.

"I used to be a part of SAMCRO before I transferred up to Washington. Known Jax since he was a little guy. Good kid, with good taste. Do you mind me telling you you're very pretty?"

I just laugh and tell him thank you. He nods his head and then asks me if I'd like something to drink. I tell him I wouldn't mind a beer. He hands me one from his back pocket.

"It's not open. Be careful when you take drinks from anyone around here. Always make sure you open them yourself. Some of these guys like to drug their women. Wouldn't want that to happen to you."

I tell him thank you and twist the beer open. I'm just about to take a drink when the Chapel doors open and Jax and Opie walk out holding their cuts up showing off their rockers. A big cheer goes up through the club house. All the guys wearing cuts stop what they are doing, even the stone cold one in the corner who was getting a blow job. He just pushed the girl off his dick, pulls up his pants and heads over with the rest of the guys to congratulate Jax and Opie. I take this as my cue to go and find Donna. I weave my way out of the clubhouse and Donna is sitting at the picnic table just outside the door drinking a beer.

"This is crazy, isn't it?" She says to me. I nod in agreement, like nothing I've ever seen before. I tell her about the guy in the corner and she looks at me in shock. Can't believe what some of these guys will do. We toast each other for our guys and drink the rest of our beers. I hadn't noticed before but there are two people in a boxing ring fighting. Quite a crowd has gathered over there. This place is a sensory nightmare. So much is going on. I think I need another beer to settle my nerves. I walk over to the tub of ice and pull two more beers out, one for me and one for Donna and walk back over to the table. She's got a pack of cigarettes sitting in front of her and I take one and light it up. I figure why not. I'm letting go tonight, may as well drink and smoke and enjoy myself. Donna and I are just sitting there people watching, taking it all in when Jax and Opie come through the door. They have these huge grins on their faces. Instead of beer they are each carrying a bottle of Jack. Jax walks up to me and sits down on the bench behind me, wrapping his arms around me and putting his head on my shoulder.

"So you're looking at the two newest members of SAMCRO. With this cut on, baby, the world is mine. I can do anything I want and no one can stop me, here in Charming at least."

I think Jax is a little drunk. I'm not sure how many people had given him shots after the big reveal but it must have been a few. I also take in the quarter of whiskey that's gone out of his bottle. I've never been around a drinking Jax, so I'm not sure just how much he can handle. We sit out there for a little bit, drinking and smoking just hanging out bullshitting with people who would stop by the table when I hear a voice I know. The nerve of this bitch!

"Hey Jax, hey Opie, when are you going to ditch these two losers and get with me and my friend here."

Before Jax and Opie can even say anything, I'm up off the bench. I shove Ima so hard she stumbles back, trips over her friend and goes down. I'm on top of her in a second. All I'm seeing is red. This bitch has some nerve to come over here and even talk to my boyfriend, let alone hit on him in front of me! I'm punching her and pulling her hair when I feel someone lift me off her. I just keep trying to get at her but whoever has pulled me away is way stronger than I am.

" Alrigh lassie, that's enough. Ye've given her quite a warning about our Jackie boy here."

He doesn't let me go just yet. I think he knows if he does I will go right after that whore again. He just stands there with his arms around me pinning my arms to me, waiting for my breathing to slow.

"You alrigh if I let you go girlie?"

I nod an ok. I'm calmed down a little bit by now. I don't know what came over me. I've never been in a fight before. Jax and Opie are standing there with their mouths open. Donna is giving me a thumbs up with a smile on her face.

Ima is just lying there on the cement crying. Her nose is bleeding and it looks like I've given her a black eye. She stops long enough to sneer at me and tell me she's calling the cops.

"I wouldna do that. The club doesn't take too kindly to those who involve the likes o' those badge wearers. I would advise you just forget about wha happen here tonight and take your scrawny blonde ass and get off TM property. Probably would be a good idea if you never came back. Take this as a warning. You won't get off so easily next time you come here and cause trouble. Oh and Jackie boy, that's a hell of a scrapper you got there. You know how to pick em."

With that, Chibs grabbed his beer off the table and sauntered back inside. Donna asks me if I'm alright. I nod yes to her and tell her the bitch didn't even get in a punch. I turn around and look at the ground where Ima used to be. She's gone but there is blood on the cement. I can't help but feel a little remorse. This isn't like me. I've never been in a fight in my life and I'm not usually the jealous type. Something about that girl just gets under my skin.

"Hey babe, you ok? That was a hell of a beat down you gave that girl. Didn't know you had it in ya. I'm proud."

I can't help but laugh looking at Jax. He's more than a little drunk, he's swaying while he's standing still and his words actually came out as "Heybabeyouzok…" Totally slurring. I can't say I'm all that sober myself. I'm feeling kind of woozy. I'm guessing those 6 beers I swilled down while we were sitting there bullshitting and smoking have finally taken effect.

"Hey Jax, can we go to your room? I'm not feeling all that good and it's after one in the morning."

He tells me he thinks it's probably a good idea and we tell Donna and Opie we'll see them in the morning.


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N Thanks to everyone for the reviews! I"ll give you a special treat this weekend and you should have 2 more chapters after this one! I love being on vacation, having time to write is awesome! _

_As usual..no copyright intended. KS owns all of this! Thanks to Anne for being my beta! Hope you enjoy where I'm taking this story! _

Next thing I know, it's morning. What? How can it be morning? Jax and I just walked back to his room at SAMCRO and sat down on the bed. I turn to look at Jax and he's laying right next to me with his legs hanging off the end of the bed exactly like mine are, with his hands under his head. He's still dead to the world. We must have lain down for a second and passed out. At least I'm feeling better. I think. I haven't tried to move yet. I sit up, expecting to have a pounding headache but the one I do have is more of a dull ache than a pounding one.

I give a few coughs though. My lungs hurt. Was I really smoking last night? What was I thinking? I've never smoked in my life and last night I was smoking like a chimney! I sit there for a few more minutes trying to get my bearings and then get up and walk into the bathroom. I didn't think to bring a change of clothes so I do my best to freshen up a little bit. Thank god there is a tube of tooth paste sitting near the sink. My mouth tastes like a damn ash tray. Yuck! I don't have a tooth brush but decide that my finger will work. So I'm standing there rubbing my teeth with my finger and Jax walks in. He looks at me weird.

"What the hell are you doing with your finger and the toothpaste, slugger?"

"I'm brushing my teeth..well kind of brushing my teeth. My mouth tasted like ass from those cigarettes. How do you smoke all the time and deal with this taste? Wait a minute - Slugger? Did you just call me slugger?"

He smiles and tells me it's what men do and that ya he did call me slugger. Hah really? I don't think so but hey whatever floats his boat. Jax walks over to the toilet and starts to take a piss. What the hell? Really? He's really doing this in front of me? I hurry up and finish "brushing" my teeth and turn around and walk out. I hear Jax laughing at me. Guys, do they not have an ounce of decency? Just because we've had sex doesn't mean I want to stand there and watch him take a piss!

I sit back down on the bed waiting for him to come back out. Now that I've been up and around I don't feel as great as I thought I did. I search around for a clock. It's only 7am! I scoot myself up to the top of the bed and put my head on the pillow. I feel Jax climb into bed beside me.

"Come over here, babe. I can't believe we passed out. I had such big plans for us last night."

I roll over to him and put my head on his chest.

"As much as I'd love to right now, I'm so tired. I don't think I've ever drank that much in my life and I've "definitely never smoked even a cig before and last night I probably smoked half a pack! "

He laughs and tells me he's a bad influence on me. I trace his bellybutton with my finger. I can't help it. His abs are rock hard. He's beautiful. Maybe I'm not so tired after all. Just being there in bed next to him turns me on. I kiss his shoulder, then his neck and then I turn his head toward me and caress his lips with mine. I can feel a smile start to form under my lips. I stop kissing him.

"You knew once you climbed into bed I wouldn't be able to resist you, didn't you, Teller?"

He nods yes and before I know it he's got me flipped over lying underneath him. I feel him growing hard against my jeans. I can't get my shirt off fast enough, all these damn buttons. I want Jax. I want him now. As I'm undoing buttons on my shirt, Jax is undoing the button on my pants and pulling my jeans and panties down. I've finally got my shirt off and my jeans are on the floor. Jax is naked; I'm naked. He's got his mouth on my nipple and his fingers stroking my clit. I've got ahold of his shaft and I'm pumping up and down. He's moaning, I'm moaning. There is hardly any foreplay this time. He enters me in one quick motion. It's not like last time where we seemed to kind of take our time. It's rushed and intense like we can't get close enough to each other even though we are one right now. I feel my muscles start to tighten and my toes curl. I'm almost over the edge. I hear Jax tell me to just let go and I do. My muscles tighten and release and tighten and release and then I'm gone and so is Jax.

He lays on top of me for a few more minutes before rolling over. His breathing is heavy.

"You're a tiger underneath that kitten exterior, babe."

I can't help smiling. It seems Jax has brought out a different side of me, a wilder side who doesn't play everything safe. I like it. We lie there together for a little while longer, drifting in and out of sleep when finally I decide it's time to get up. My stomach has been growling for about an hour now and I just can't take it anymore! I give him a kiss and sit up scanning the room for my clothes. I find my bra and panties and my jeans but when I find my shirt, I notice in my attempt to get to Jax, I must have ripped some of the buttons instead of unbuttoning them. My shirt's a total loss. Holding up my shirt to Jax, I ask him what I'm going to do.

"I can't just go walking out of here in my bra, Jax!"

He rolls out of bed in all of his naked glory, no shyness to him. His body is like a god's. If I keep looking at him, we are never going to get out of this room and get breakfast.

"Jax, just put some damn clothes on, would ya? I need a shirt or something. Do you keep any here?"

"Ya babe, dresser right next to you there is SAMCRO shirts. Just wear one of them. Keep it. It'll make you think of me, every time you wear it!"

Oh, I'll wear it alright. To bed. Every night. I grab one and pull it over my head. Time to go. Jax and I walk out into the clubhouse. I don't know what I was expecting to see but it wasn't what my eyes are currently taking in. There are guys and girls in all states of undress all over the place! I was thinking I'd sit at the bar and have a cup of coffee but currently lying on the bar is Tig and some crow eater passed out. Guess I'll have to get a cup of coffee somewhere else. I ask Jax if he wants to head over to the diner for breakfast and he said it sounds like a good idea. We walk out into the bright sunshine and survey the mess. Beer bottles and trash everywhere!

"Should we clean up a little bit before we go?"

"Nah darlin, that's what the prospects and crow eaters are for. SAMCRO doesn't clean up its own clubhouse. They do."

The way he says it is different from anything I've ever heard him say, almost like he's too good now to help out around there. I just shrug it off. Maybe he's tired. It was a long night after all. We decide to take my car. Jax says he'll drive so I toss him the keys and we back out of the space. Right before we pull out Chief Unser pulls in. He waves us to a stop. There's something wrong. I can see it on his face.

"Tara, we've been trying to find you all night. It's your parents. There was an accident."

Before he even finishes talking I'm bursting into tears. An accident?

"Where are they?"

He doesn't say anything.

"Damn it Chief, where are my parents?"

"Tara, why don't you get out of the car, darling. There's something I need to tell you."

I can't even think straight. Jax pulls us back into the parking spot and we get out of the car. Jax is holding onto me because, at this point, I don't think I can stand up alone.

"Your dad is in the intensive care unit at the hospital. Your mother didn't make it, sweetheart."

The world goes black. All I can hear is ringing in my ears and all I can see is blackness. I feel Jax holding me up. I finally can hear what he's saying and he's telling me to breathe, that I just need to breathe. Unser is standing there not quite knowing what else to say. I hear Jax tell him that he'll take care of me and he'll be in touch to get the details from him later after he's got me settled down a little bit. He guides me back up to the picnic table just outside of the clubhouse. I sit down hard. I can't even think. My mother, gone? I was just with her last night. She can't be!

"Jax, she can't be gone! How could I be such a horrible daughter? She died while I was here having fun! I can't live with this. I should have been with them. I should have never turned down dinner!"

All Jax could say is I know, baby, I know. I just keep sobbing with my head buried into his chest. I hear him talking to someone but I don't want to look up at who it is. Then I hear Gemma's voice. She sits down behind me and starts rubbing my back.

"It's alright, baby, you're strong. You will get through this. You're our family now. Anything you need, it's yours."

She sat there like that, rubbing my back for a few more minutes, and then got up, kissed Jax on the cheek and went back inside. Jax asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital to see my dad and I told him I did. He asked me if I wanted him to go inside and get Donna and Opie. I shook my head no. I'm sure Gemma will fill them in when they wake up. I just need some time to take it all in. He smoothes the hair away from my face and kisses away my tears before standing up and holding out his hand for mine. Somehow I walk out to the car and get in and we leave TM and the life I knew just this morning behind.


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N Thanks for the reviews! This is sort of just a transition chapter. Hope you enjoy! Thanks Anne!_

_No copyright intended. KS created Everyone however Tara's mom is my own. _

Walking into the hospital, it feels like I'm in a bad dream, a really bad dream. I don't know what to expect when I see my dad. He's in ICU but does that mean chances are he's going to make it or chances are he won't? What if I lose him, too? Then what will I do? Jax seems to know right where to take me. We ride the elevator up and step out onto the floor in ICU. A nurse walks over asking me who I am there to see and when I tell her my father, Michael Knowles, she turns and leads me to a glass enclosed room.

"You can only be in there with him for a minute. His condition is stable. He's broken a lot of bones, punctured a lung and has some swelling of the brain. Right now, his prognosis is about 50/50. He needs all the rest he can get."

I nod and look to Jax. He motions for me to go in and tells me he'll be right outside waiting for me and that he won't go anywhere. I walk in to find my dad lying there with all these tubes and things connected to him. His face is ghostly pale. There is no chair to sit in, probably to discourage long term visitations so I stand next to the bed. I grab his hand and hold it for a minute. He's not conscious. I wonder if he knows about my mom. I just stand there letting the tears run down my cheeks.

"Dad, if you can hear me you've got to pull through this. I need you. I can't be here all alone. I don't know what to do without you and Mom. You hear me? Don't leave me Dad! Please don't leave me!" I kneel down and place my head on the bed next to his hand. I stay like this for a few minutes until I feel someone's hand on my shoulder. I turn to look and it's Jax.

"Time to go, babe. They've got him in a medically induced coma so his brain can heal. He's going to be out of it for a while. Let's get you home so you can get a shower and change into some clean clothes and at least try and eat some food, ya?"

I nod, not really wanting to leave my dad but understanding there isn't anything I can do for him right now.

…...

Jax stayed at the house with me for the next two days. I heard him call Clay and tell him the situation and Clay said he understood and to consider himself off duty at the shop until I'm able to process everything that happened. My dad was still in the induced coma but his brain swelling was coming down so that was a good sign.

Up until today, I haven't even really thought about planning a funeral for my mom. I've never really had to think about this sort of thing. I'm not sure what to do. Thankfully Gemma has been wonderful. She offered to help me. She said she had to do it all when she lost John. I know she barely knows me and we got off to a very rocky start but it was nice to have someone, an adult someone to lean on. My mom really didn't have any family to inform so the funeral would be really small probably just a few townfolk, myself, Jax, Donna and Opie. My mom really always said she didn't want to have a funeral or anything but I felt like I needed to say my goodbyes. As it was, there wasn't going to be a viewing or anything. Just a small graveside prayer and then they would lay her down in her eternal resting place.

I don't think it's really sunk in yet, that she's gone. It really just feels like her and my dad are on vacation and will be back any minute. The house is the same, all her stuff is here, the only difference is she isn't. As an only child some part of my brain always knew when my parents died I'd be alone; I just never figured that would happen so soon.

The phone rings bringing me back to reality. Jax answers it knowing I'm in no shape to be taking phone calls from anyone. I hear him tell whoever is on the other side he'll go get me and to hang on.

"Tara, the hospital's on the phone. It's your Ddad."

I run to the phone, hoping it's not more bad news.

"Hello, this is Tara."

The lady on the other end identifies herself as Dr. Fahsami my dad's doctor. She then proceeds to tell me that my dad has been taken out of the coma and is awake and asking for me and could I come up to the hospital right away. I tell her thank you and that I will be right there and hang up. I look at Jax who's standing there with a really worried expression on his face and I ask him if he'll take me to the hospital.

" Of course, babe. I'd take you to the moon and back if that's what you need me to do."

I give him a slight smile, the first one in days and he comes up framing my face with his hands and kisses me on the forehead.

"You're going to be ok, Tar. I know it hurts really bad right now. When I got the call about my dad I didn't see how life would ever go on without him but it does. I didn't think I'd ever be happy again but I am. Your mom will always be with you. She helped make you who you are today. You have her blood and you have all the things she taught you. Most of all you have her love. Just because she's gone it doesn't mean she doesn't love you anymore. She just loves you from a different place."

What Jax says to me makes me cry. I know he's right. I guess I just always thought that my parents would do the impossible and never leave me. Jax wipes the tears from my face, I tell him "Yeah" and he gives me

a kiss and we walk out to his bike.

….

As I walk into my dad's room, I notice that his coloring looks almost back to normal. There is a pinkness to his cheeks that wasn't there the day before. He hears the door open and looks over, a sad smile crossing his face.

"Hey baby, how are you doing?"

I tell my dad that it's been rough. I don't know if he knows about my mom so I don't want to say anything until he brings it up. Then I see the tear roll down his cheek and I know he knows.

"What are we going to do without your mother? She was my world. How am I supposed to go on when she's not here?"

I have no words to answer him. The only thing I can do is stand there and hold his hand. Part of me wants to be mad at him because he was driving the car after having a few drinks. I think to myself that maybe if he wouldn't have been under the effects of alcohol he could have missed the two deer that went through the windshield killing my mom instantly and just barely missing him. I wouldn't tell him that though. I'm sure he feels guilty enough.

I just stand there holding his hand, letting him cry. A few minutes later a nurse comes in and tells me it's time to leave that my dad needs to take his medicine and get some sleep. I lean over, kiss my dad on the cheek, tell him I love him and I'll be back later.

Jax is sitting in a chair outside of the door, waiting for me. When he sees me step out he gets up and walks over to me. He can tell this was a hard visit and that it's mentally just drained me. I wanted to break down and cry with my dad but he needed strength and the only one here to give it to him now is me. Jax asks me if I'm ok and I nod. I am ok or at least I will be ok. I square my shoulders and decide that today is the first day of the rest of my life. My mom wouldn't like this, in fact she'd hate this. Tomorrow I'm going to say my goodbyes and try and start living again.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N _Here it is guys..Mamma Knowles funeral. I didn't mean to take this long to post just haven't been motivated lately! Hope you enjoy! Thanks for the reviews and thanks to Anne for being my Beta! Love girl! _

_As usual..mostly all of this belongs to KS! He's brilliant! _

We buried my mother on a beautiful, sunny California day. It didn't seem possible for everything to seem so normal and yet so different. The birds were singing like there was something to be happy about. But there wasn't. Saying goodbye to the woman who held my hand on my first day of school, kissed my boo boos when I fell, rubbed my back when I was sick and it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I know I said I wanted to start living my life and all that bullshit but I'm good at saying things I have no intention of doing. I'm sitting here in this chair at the side of my mom's grave watching them lower her casket into the ground and I can't cry. I can't feel anything. I'm numb.

I feel Jax take my hand and rub his thumb over my knuckles. I think about how wonderful he's been. He's not the Jax Teller everyone believes him to be. Under all the bad boy exterior is a very complex and beautiful soul. He should be living it up as an official part of SAMCRO and instead he's been by my side for 4 days, doing anything I need him to do. At night when his brothers are at the clubhouse partying, he's been at my house, lying in bed holding me, so I can cry and not be alone. I glance over at him and he looks at me with a look of sadness. Two years ago, he sat in this very cemetery and buried his father. That is yet another reason I respect how he's been with me lately. This has to be hard for him, reliving the pain through me. His dad, JT, was Jax's hero. Losing him couldn't have been anywhere near easy.

I feel Donna tap my shoulder.

"Tar, it's over. It's time to go home."

I just nod and stand up, still holding Jax's hand. Somewhere I got lost in thought and missed all the praying done by my mother's grave site. I ask Jax, Donna and Opie if they can give me a minute alone and they turn and head to the car to wait for me. I kneel by the edge of the hole, throwing in the long stemmed red rose that was in my hand. There are a few words I want to say before I go.

"Hey Mom, I love you. I will miss you every day. Please don't get upset with me if I don't come here to talk to you a lot. I'll probably just look up at the sky and talk toyou whenever I feel like it. Wait for me ok? I'll be there some day and when I get there, it's you I want to see first. I'm going to do my best to be someone you'd be proud of. Will you pop in and check on me once in a while? Never mind, I shouldn't have asked because I know you will. I'm going to go now Mom, but I'll be back soon k?"

After saying those heartfelt words, I feel the tears finally come flooding out. I kneel there for a few minutes more trying to compose myself before walking to the three people who have become just like family. Jax and Opie are leaning on the car, smoking cigarettes, and Donna is leaning on Op with her arms wrapped around him.

"You guys are the three best friends anyone could have, you know that?"

With that Opie steps forward and pulls me into a bear hug. We stay like that for a few seconds and I start to laugh through my tears. I can't help it. Opie pulls away and looks at me questioningly.

"What are you laughing about, Tar?"

"Well Op, it's just kind of odd how not even 3 weeks ago I'd never spoken to you and today, well your hug, it made me feel loved. It's not so much I was laughing at you but you made me feel happy. Thank you for that."

Opie nods, stubs out his cigarette on the ground with his shoe and tells me I can have an Opie bear hug any time I need one. I smile at him and ask my three best friends if we can go get something to eat at Floyd's Diner. Jax looks at me with a confused look on his face.

"You want to eat? You haven't eaten in days."

"I know, babe, I feel lighter since I said my goodbyes. My mom is up there at peace and she knows how much I love Floyd's vanilla milkshakes and I don't think she'd be angry if I went and got one, do you?"

Jax looks at me and starts laughing.

"Nah darlin, I think she'd be ok with that."

With that, he climbs into the driver's seat of my car; I get in and Opie and Donna take off on Opie's bike.

The rest of the day seemed better. I got my milkshake from Floyd's and even managed to put away some French fries. Eating a little bit seemed to help me feel better too. After that, Jax and I went to visit my dad. He's healing slowly and they say he should have a hundred percent recovery. We don't talk much about my mom. I think he feels very guilty about what happened. Mostly when I'm there he asks about everyday things and what's going on in the news. I don't mind those topics. It's easier to talk about. After visiting with my dad, Jax and I decide it would be kind of nice if we stopped in at the clubhouse to see what was going on. We haven't been there in a few days so it would be kind of good to just bum around and hang out, talk to the guys and see what's been happening. Jax takes me home to change out of my black clothes and into something a little bit more comfortable. I walk upstairs, thinking he's going to stay down there and wait for me but he follows me up.

"What are you doing, Jax? I'm ok; I'm just going to change clothes."

A big grin spreads over his face.

" I thought I'd help you get out of the ones you've got on."

I'm feeling a little daring and as I start walking into my room I take off my shirt and twirl it around my finger and fling it across the room. Before I can even get to my bra, I feel a little shove from behind and Jax pushes me down on the bed. He's got his hands undoing the button of my jeans in an instant.

"God, babe. I love seeing you naked. You're beautiful."

Even though he's told me this before, I still feel a blush creep across my cheeks. I sit up, giving him a kiss.

"Can we do this later? I honestly feel like going to the club house and hanging out for a bit. I think it would be good for me to get out, try and be normal for a little while."

"Sure babe, later?"

I hit him on the shoulder and shove him away with a grin.

"That is all you think about isn't it, Teller? Men! Is life just tits and ass to you?"

He just laughs and tells me I'd better hurry up and get dressed before he changes his mind on leaving the house.

Ten minutes later, we've traded the car for his bike and are on the road headed for SAMCRO and the distraction I know I need right now.


	18. Chapter 18

_A/N I almost put a 3 month jump in where this chapter is. I'm glad I didn't. I felt the 3 months I skipped would have missed out on too much Jax and Tara. Hope you all enjoy! Thank you for all the review! Keep it up! Also thanks to Traci and my Beta Anne for their time!_

_Same as always NO COPYRIGHT intended! KS and his brilliance enabled my creativity!_

Jax parks his bike and we walk inside. No one's around except for Juice who's sitting at the bar drinking a beer. We slide out the stools next to him and have a seat. All the guys know what's going on with me and have all been really great. Juice slides me a beer and before I can think of a reason why I shouldn't drink it, I crack it open and chug it down. Without saying anything, Juice uncaps another and slides it to me, again I pick it up and slam it down. A slight grin spreads across his face and Jax is looking at me like I've completely lost it. He just shrugs and grabs himself a beer, figuring why not.

"You drinking to get drunk tonight or did someone replace the Tara we all know with someone else who looks exactly like her?"

I can't help but laugh. Juice is like this goofy kid. He wears his heart on his sleeve and sometimes doesn't think about what he's doing or what he's saying. He's got this baby face and if I'm going to be honest with myself which I am I'd call him pretty damn cute.

"I think I'll get drunk," I tell him. "Wanna get drunk with me Juice? Jax, here, is all for it I bet!"

He tells me he's working on that as we speak and slides me another beer. Donna walks over and sits down.

"What the hell you guys doing? You getting drunk without me?"

I tell her no and that she's got two beers to drink to catch up with me. Juice uncaps two beers and sends them sliding down to Donna.

Tig walks in and sees our little makeshift party, sits down, asks what the fuck we're doing and tells Juice he may as well shoot him down a beer too. Now there are five of us sitting at the bar, working our way towards drunk. Then Opie walks up grabbing a beer, looking around, kind of wondering what the hell's going on but joins the party anyway.

We start singing along to the radio and the beer keeps flowing. Soon enough we're all feeling pretty damn good when "Friends in Low Places" comes on the radio. Tig hops up on the bar, grabs a beer bottle, and starts singing like it's karaoke. I am laughing so hard, I almost fall off my bar stool and Donna shoots beer out her nose. Juice is singing along with Tig, at the top of his lungs, and Jax is laughing so hard he can't breathe! Piney sidles up to the bar, downs a shot of tequila, looks over at us, shakes his head and walks away. Silly old man! I didn't notice we were drawing a crowd but it seems we were being so loud that people just couldn't ignore us. Clay's there as well as Chibs, Bobby, and Gemma.

"What the fuck do you people think you're doing?"

Tig hops down off the bar; Juice immediately shuts up.

"Shit, Clay, Shit. We're sorry." Tig says to Clay.

Jax doesn't say anything, just grins at his step dad like it's his god given right. I can't help but giggle. Oops! I probably shouldn't have done that. I think I'm in trouble. Instead of yelling and shutting down our party, like I think Clay's gonna do, he tells Juice to slide him a beer, Bobby, Gemma and Chibs too! They've got a few beers to go to catch up with us, but what else do we have to do? I sit there and listen to the guys as they tell stories about each other, mostly embarrassing and mostly to get a laugh. Seems Tig dressed up as a lady one night and was so believable he got hit on at the bar they were in. Somehow that doesn't surprise me. That got a good laugh out of all of us. Someone brought out a deck of cards and we started playing drinking games. As if we weren't all drunk enough! A little after 2 in the morning, I decide if I drink anymore I'm going to puke. I basically fall off my bar stool and head for the room Jax keeps there. Jax isn't too far behind. When I reach the door, I can't seem to get the key in.

"Here darlin, let me help you with that. Seems that damn door just won't stay still for ya."

Jax gets the door open and I make it about two steps in and fall to the ground. Seems my feet have grown and I keep tripping over them. I try to stand up but I can't. I just lay there in a heap on the floor, laughing until I have tears running down my face. Jax comes over after taking off his cut and removing the things from his pockets and picks me up and puts me on the bed.

"didyouhavefuntonight?" All my words are slurred together.

He full out laughs but I'm not really sure why he's laughing. I'm not that drunk; I sound fine. Must be something he's thinking about. I lay down on the bed and it's spinning.

"whendidyouputthebed onarotatingmotor?"

That did it. Jax completely just started cracking up! He laughed until his face hurt, I think and he was clutching his stomach. When he got his breath, he told me he didn't put the bed on a rotating motor and that I must really be drunk. I can't think of anything to say since I'm starting to get really, really tired. I tell Jax it's time to sleep and he starts helping me take off my shoes, socks and pants. He tucks me in, tells me to stay awake for just another minute and comes back with a glass of water and two ibuprofen. What a guy. He doesn't want me to feel like shit in the morning. I down the water, and the ibuprofen and before Jax climbs into bed next to me, I'm passed the fuck out!

I crack one eye and groan. It feels like a million suns are shining in my eyes. Everything is so bright, and my head, will someone please tell the people in there with jack hammers to knock it off! What was I thinking last night? I've never been a drinker. Why did I think it would be a good idea now? Stupid, stupid, stupid! I try sitting up, so not a good idea. I'm going to throw up. I go running for the bathroom, slam the door and just make it in time. When I'm done, my head feels a little better but my stomach is still a bit queasy. I grab the toothpaste off the counter and start brushing my teeth with my finger again. Man, I really need to get a toothbrush to keep here. I open the door hoping Jax didn't just hear me puke my guts out but as luck would have it he's sitting up in bed, leaning against the headboard, waiting for me to come out. Now I'm embarrassed.

"Heard that, did ya?"

"I did. Want another beer?"

Ugh. I tell Jax to shut up and that what I really want to do is go back to bed. He sinks back down and calls me over to him, to cuddle up. Within the next few minutes, I'm back to sleep.

The next time I wake up, I open one eye first, then the other. The people with the jack hammers must have either gone to lunch or gone home for the day! There is no pounding! Yay! I realize I'm in bed alone and look around to see if Jax is still even in the room. When I don't spot him, I sit up and swing my legs out of bed. Looking around I find my clothes from last night and put them on. Glancing in the mirror I pull my hair back into a quick pony tail and go to see if anyone else is up yet.

Donna, Jax, Opie, Tig and Juice are all sitting at the bar, eating breakfast and man does it smell good! I pull out a stool and sit down. They all turn and are grinning at me.

"What? Why are you all looking at me like that?"

"A bed on a rotating motor, seriously?" says Tig, shaking his head and laughing.

I throw Jax a dirty look but can't help laughing.

"Did I really say that? I don't remember!"

All six of us burst out laughing. Tig and Juice think I need to drink with them more often. They tell me I'm the life of the party. I politely decline. The way I felt this morning, it's going to be a long time before I drink again!


	19. Chapter 19

_A/N Thanks everyone for reading! Hope you all are still enjoying my story! Thanks Traci for pre reading and thanks Anne for being the bestest beta in the world! Love you ladies!_

_As usual…no Copyright intended. KS (Kurt Sutter) is the genius here..I am merely just a minion jealous of his awesome mind! _

Breakfast lingered this morning. It seems like I wasn't the only one feeling the after effects of last night. I'm being serious when I say I don't think I'll ever drink again, at least like I did last night. Jax keeps shooting me these little looks, almost like he's laughing at me for what I did .

"What the hell are you looking at, Teller?" I say with a grumpy face.

I'm still not really feeling my best, so being grumpy works right now. Before Jax has the chance to say anything Clay walks in and yells at all the guys, telling them to get their asses in church. The guys all hop up, Jax kisses me on the cheek and swaggers out of the room. That leaves Gemma, Donna and myself sitting at the bar, slowly finishing what's left of our breakfast.

"So what are you girls going to do today?" Gemma asks.

Donna and I look at one another and shrug our shoulders. I have no plans. My dad's still in the hospital and since it's summer break I have nothing academic to be doing. Gemma seems to catch the meaning in our shrugs and asks us if we'd like to go with her out to the shooting range. I know I've never personally shot a gun. I'm not sure about Donna but I think it's a pretty good guess she hasn't either. I tell Gemma I wouldn't mind and Donna nods in agreement.

"Alright then girls, it's a plan! Tara, looks like you could use a shower and a change of clothes, am I right?"

I tell Gemma I would appreciate being able to freshen up before we go if that's alright and she tells me we'll swing by my house on the way. I start picking up the guys' plates when Gemma tells me to leave them be.

"There are crow eaters hanging around here to do that shit. You girls have to let them do that stuff or else they'll never respect you. They'll think you girls are just the flavor of the week and that Jax and Opie can still be theirs if you don't watch how you act."

Donna and I nod our acceptance to Gemma and I move away from the plates I had stacked up. Gemma tells us to give her a few minutes; she has some paper work she has to finish real quick over in the office and for us to meet her there in about ten and walks out.

"Donna, do we really just leave all this stuff here? I mean what would it hurt if I took the dishes into the kitchen at least?"

"Leave it Tar, what Gemma said is right. Staying here I've noticed a few things and one of them is Ol' Ladies never clean up."

I roll my eyes and accept the fact I've just got to walk away from the breakfast mess. I head back into Jax's room to grab my purse. Just as I walk out of the hallway, the church doors fly open and the guys all storm out. I step back out of their way. They all look very, very angry. There's even a look on Jax's face I've never seen before. It's intense, almost like he's going to explode from the anger. He doesn't even look over at me as they walk past. Some serious shit must have gone down. I've never seen the guys act like they are today. In the next few seconds, I hear the roar of bikes and then just like that, all is quiet again. Donna is standing on the other side of the room, much like I am and is looking confused like I am, too.

"What's going on? Do you think it's something bad?"

I tell Donna that, by my guess, it most certainly is bad and it's probably a good idea if we check in with Gemma and see what's going on.

Gemma's got her head down finishing up the last bit of paper work when we walk in. She tells us to have a seat, she'll be just a minute. When she finally finishes the papers, she looks up and asks us if we are ready to go. We start walking out of the office when Chief Unser pulls in. He climbs out of his squad car, says hello to Donna and I, and then asks Gemma if she has a quick minute. She throws us her keys and tells us to go wait in her Black Yukon Denali.

We climb in and I turn the car on to get the air conditioning going. Man it feels good in here! The California sunshine is baking today and being hung over isn't helping too much. Donna and I are kind of quiet. I think she knows something is up just like I do. Chief Unser wouldn't want to speak to Gemma privately in her office otherwise, at least I don't think anyway. Before long Gemma and the Chief come walking out, Unser waves and gets in his cruiser and drives away. Gemma opens her door and hops in. She puts the car in drive and we leave Teller-Morrow. Gemma reaches out and switches on the radio and the smooth sound of Hotel California comes through the speakers. We drive along for a little bit just listening to the song. Donna interrupts the silence when she asks Gemma if everything is alright with the guys. Gemma stops singing and turns her head to look back at her

"That's nothing for you to worry about. With SAMCRO, there are always things going on, some to worry about and some to not worry about. Club business is club business. Unless one of them comes home dead or injured, we go on about our normal daily routine, you got that?"

Donna visibly swallows and nods, and Gemma returns her attention to driving down the road. I sit there, kind of stunned. Had Gemma just said the word dead? I thought I had a pretty good handle on what SAMCRO was really all about but maybe I wasn't thinking criminal enough. I don't know much about motorcycle clubs but I guess I thought it was just a bunch of motorcycle enthusiasts who liked to get a little rowdy sometimes, raise a little hell and cause a lot of mayhem. I figured "Church" was to meet to discuss things about Charming and how to keep the town the way it is. None of those activities warranted anyone getting dead. Lost in thought, I didn't realize we had pulled into my driveway. Gemma waves us inside telling us she's going to use her car phone to call Luann and that she'll be waiting for us when I get done with my shower.

Before I can even get the door to the house closed, Donna is freaking out on me.

"What did she mean by dead, Tara? And come to think of it, why is she taking us to shoot guns? What did we get ourselves into? Maybe these guys aren't what we think they are. Do you think they are criminals?"

I tell Donna to slow down. I haven't really had time to process it all yet, and I tell her that. I also tell her to take a deep breath and to calm down. There is nothing we can do about anything we've heard today, until we get to see Jax and Opie. I will admit though the words injured or dead had me worried about Jax especially with the obvious anger he was emitting when he left. I really hope everything is going to be ok. I tell Donna to make herself at home and I run upstairs to take a shower and get ready for what this strange ass day has in store for me.

While I'm in the shower, my brain whirls. Could Jax really be a criminal? If he is, is that a game changer? Do I want to stay with someone whose life revolves around the illegal? I don't have the answer. What I'm feeling for Jax is pretty strong. In fact, I'm pretty stinking sure I'm in love with him. Could I walk away if it turns out what I'm thinking is the truth?

I shut off the shower, brush my hair up into a pony tail, throw on my clothes and head downstairs. I don't relay any of my thoughts to Donna. She's freaked out enough as it is. She still looks worried as she's sitting there watching TV and I tell her not to worry about it. She tells me that it's probably a good idea, for now, to put it on the back burner and we head out to spend the day with the queen of all queens, Gemma. I never thought until now, it might not be a good idea to go anywhere near that woman with a gun!


	20. Chapter 20

_**A/N Thanks everyone for reading! I appreciate each and every review! **_

_**As usual I don't own anyone. KS and all his brilliance does! No copyright intended! **_

We turn into what appears to be the parking lot of an abandoned warehouse. Gemma puts the car in park and we open our doors and get out. Walking around the back of the car, she opens the hatch and pulls out this huge picnic basket. I'm a little confused because if I'd have known we were staying for lunch I'd have chipped in with something from my house. Once Gemma opens the lid to the basket I'm not confused anymore. Inside the basket, it looks like a gun store. There are so many! Gemma starts pulling them out and laying them flat on the carpet of the trunk. Each gun has a little bit different characteristic. When Gemma is done, she turns to Donna and I.

"Have either one of you ever shot a gun before?"

Donna and I both tell her no. With that she turns around and points to the first one. This gun is called a revolver. She picks it up and pushes a spinning wheel out of the side of the gun.

"There are six chambers in this gun. Each chamber holds a bullet."

With that she loads 6 bullets into the gun, spins it and pushes it closed.

The gun she's demonstrating on reminds me of something I'd seen on TV once in a movie where these boys were playing Russian roulette. While I'm lost in thought, Gemma continues teaching.

" This gun uses .22 caliber bullets. It's more of a teaching gun. This little fella will get the job done if needed but I wouldn't recommend it if you want to pack some serious power. It will kill if need be but isn't recommended for self-defense."

With that she walks out a little ways, aims the gun at a target that was painted on the building and fires. When she's done shooting off all six bullets, she walks back, reloads and hands the gun to me.

"Your turn, Tara. This one doesn't have much of a recoil. Put your left hand on the grip and your pointer finger on the trigger. Now put your right hand on the butt of the gun, grasping your left hand. This will ensure you keep the gun steady."

I do as I'm told. Now she tells me to aim at the target on the building and to pull the trigger. I'm kind of scared. I'm standing there with a gun in my hand for the first time and I don't know what it's going to be like when I fire it. I close my eyes and pull the trigger. I missed the target by a mile and went way left. I hear Gemma in the back ground;

"Next shot, keep your damn eyes open. How are you going to shoot anyone or anything if you've got your eyes squeezed shut?"

I line up the barrel of the gun with the target and squeeze the trigger. This time I made it closer to the target but still outside of it, four more to go. I take a few deeps breaths and squeeze the trigger again. This time I've almost hit the center of the target. Three more bullets left. The first two hit relatively in the same spot as the last one and the final bullet hits dead center.

"Damn girl, that's some pretty good shooting for a first timer. We'll try something a little bigger and see if you can still hit that bulls-eye."

Gemma takes the gun, makes sure the safety is on and walks over to where Donna is standing.

"Want to give it a try, Donna?"

Donna shakes her head no. I really think the conversation from this morning has her kind of freaking out!

Gemma picks up the next gun a .38 special. This one is also a revolver holding six shots. She tells me it shoots the same way only with a little bit of a recoil. Same as before, Gemma turns and walks out a little ways and shoots at the target. I see this one jerk in her hands a little bit. Holding it steady looks like it's going to be more difficult with this one. Gemma fires off five more shots hitting the bulls-eye every time!

"Think you can handle this one, little girl?" Gemma says tauntingly

I nod, a little scared about the recoil but I don't want to let Gemma see that. She reloads the gun and tells me to walk out and go ahead and shoot. So I do. I take aim for the bulls-eye like last time and pull the trigger. I feel the gun jerk up in my hands and I miss the target by a mile! No right or left this time. I hit about 3 feet above the outside ring of the target. Not wanting to let this gun get the best of me, I widen my stance a little bit, take aim and pull the trigger. Again the gun jerks and the bullet hits above the target, not quite as far this time though. Now I'm determined. My third and fourth shot go high and to the left outside of the target. I'm getting really frustrated. I take a few deep breaths block out the world and fire. This time I've finally made it into the circles! I've got one more shot. I breath deep, stare down the barrel and shoot. It seems like slow motion. I'm really hoping I get a bulls-eye and I'm holding my breath. The bullet hits and I'm just outside of the center.

"Good job, Darlin. Seriously not bad, for someone who has never shot a gun before."

I walk back to Gemma, hand her the gun and she shows me how to put the safety on. After a little bit of deliberation, she tells us she thinks we've learned enough for today and we should head back to TM. I see Donna quickly nod an ok after unwrapping her arms from around herself. There is definitely something running through that mind of hers because she's not acting like herself. Gemma packs up the guns, putting them all back into her picnic basket, and closes the lid.

We all climb back into the Yukon. I kind of wish we weren't with Gemma just now because I need to talk to Donna. She's being very quiet. I hope she's not thinking about up and leaving Opie before she has a chance to talk with him about SAMCRO and his involvement in the club.

The drive back is filled with Gemma more or less describing the different kinds of guns in her basket of tricks. I'm half assed listening to her and thinking about what I'm going to do if indeed Jax tells me things with the club aren't on the right side of the law. Could I truly just leave him if he is one of the bad guys? My moral compass tells me it would be the right thing to do while my heart is screaming NO, NO, NO!

I ask Gemma if she can drop me at my house. I rode to the clubhouse with Jax last night and I don't have a car. I probably should go visit my dad. I'm sure he'd like the company. We pull up to the curb in front of my house. I thank Gemma for the fun afternoon and look over at Donna.

"You staying here or are you going back to TM?" I ask her.

She tells me she's going to catch a ride back with Gemma and wait for Op. I give her a hug. Tell her I'll see her later, wave to Gemma and walk into the silence of my house.


	21. Chapter 21

_A/N Thanks everyone for the reviews and taking the time to read what I write! I appreciate all of you! _

_As usual KS owns Sons of Anarchy..I do not. I am merely just expanding on his idea! No Copyright intended! _

This late in the afternoon, the hospital is pretty quiet. I step into my dad's room and he's asleep. Instead of sitting down next to him and waiting, I figure I'll try and come back tomorrow. It's getting late anyway and visiting hours are almost over. I stop in at the Nurses' station to ask how he's doing on the way out and they tell me he should be able to go home within a day or two, the swelling in his brain is almost gone and he's healing nicely. I thank the lady and head to the elevator.

What to do now? I don't really want to go home to the silence of my empty house. Donna is in some funky mood and Jax is doing God knows what. I hear the ding of the elevator and without really looking up I start walking forward. I feel myself bump into someone and open my mouth to apologize when I feel someone lift my head by my chin and I'm staring into a set of bright blue eyes I've become so very familiar with.

"Jax! What are you doing here?"

Jax smiles at me, tilts my head further up and gives me a kiss.

"I wanted to see my favorite girl. I missed you today."

How does he still make me blush after all this time? I shoot him a smile and he grabs my hand and pulls me into the elevator. Before I can say anything, I feel myself pushed up against the wall and he's kissing my neck up to my lips. The elevator dings and the doors open. I push Jax back and just in time too. A doctor takes a look at us and steps onto the elevator. I instantly turn a bright shade of red again. Jax looks over at me with a sparkle in his eye and a laugh on his lips. Oh, I could kill him!

He leans over and whispers in my ear suggestively,"Want to go to your house, no one's there, and I think we can find something to do, don't you?"

I nod, not wanting him to see just how eager I am to be alone with him. The elevator finally makes it to the ground floor and we step off and walk out of the hospital. Jax's bike is parked a few spaces from my car. He tells me he'll follow me to my place. On the drive there, I can't help but to be a little nervous. Jax just does that to me. The anticipation of the two of us making love has my heart racing. I know it's not the first time but I can't help myself.

I park my car, Jax parking behind me and let us in the house. It's fully dark out now and the house is dark also. I go to turn on a light and Jax stills my hand.

"No babe, let's rely on feel tonight."

My knees go weak. I was right in being nervous on my way over. There is this electricity rolling off Jax tonight, almost like left over adrenaline from earlier in the day. He takes his cut off and hangs it by the door on the hook, sneakers are next. I hear him set something down on the bench that sounds heavy but I don't know what it could be. He grabs my hand and leads me to my room. He stops just inside my doorway and turns around, pulling me in for a kiss. Just like that the fire is lit.

He's pulling at the buttons of my shirt, when they prove to take too long to get undone he rips my shirt off. Next is my bra which he undoes with the flick of his fingers. My lips and his lips are still connected and I'm working on getting his pants off. Finally I've got my hand around his cock, stroking it. My pants and panties are next as are his shirt and boxers. Our lips are still connected our tongues intertwined and our hands discovering each other's bodies. I feel him cup my ass and I'm lifted up against the wall with my legs wrapped around his body.

"God Tara, I need you now."

And with that, I feel him enter me and all forms of thought are gone. We continue like this for a minute or two when he slows down and turns and carries me to the bed. He lies me down and looks down at me, we are still connected with him standing up and me on the bed. He's looking at me with this strange look on his face, an almost savage look, unlike anything I've ever seen. His hands are tugging and flicking my nipples and he's staring into my eyes. I've never felt this connected to anyone before.

"I love you, Tara."

And with that, we are both feeling our release. He pulls out and lies down beside me on the bed. Both of our breathing is heavy. I feel him turn on his side and he pulls me into his arms.

"I mean it Tara, I love you. I think I've loved you since that first night at the diner."

I take a minute to compose my thoughts. I'd been thinking the same thing but just was too scared to say it out loud.

" I love you too, Jackson. These past few weeks, you've been my rock. I don't know what I'd have done without you."

He places a kiss on my forehead and pulls me into him even tighter.

"How did I get so lucky to get someone like you babe?"

I smile and tell him I'm the lucky one. We lie there, like that for a few minutes, until our hearts slow down and our breathing returns back to normal. I move to stand up with Jax asking me where I'm going. I tell him I need a glass of water and I'll be right back.

As I'm walking down the hall, I hear,"Hey babe, why don't you order a pizza? I'm kind of hungry!"

That's my guy! I holler back that it sounds good to me. When I get to the bottom of the stairs by the front door, I flip on the light and there sitting on the bench is a shoulder harness with a hand gun. That must be what I heard Jax set down, but what does he need it for?

I pad into the kitchen, grab a glass of water and the cordless phone, and head back to my bed. Jax is lying there under my covers, hands behind his head, looking like the hottest male I have ever seen in my life. I could be a little biased though since he's mine. I set my glass down and climb in bed beside him.

"Did you order the pizza, darlin?"

I take a minute to formulate my thoughts.

"No not yet, when I was downstairs I flipped on the light by the front door and I saw a gun sitting under your cut. Why do you have that?"

The smile that was formerly on his face fades and is replaced by a look that's unsure.

"We had club business to deal with this morning. Something serious came up with the Irish."

The Irish? Did he just say Irish, as in people from Ireland? What would SAMCRO have to do with anyone from Ireland?

"What do you have to do with people from Ireland, Jax?"

"It's club business, Tar. I can't tell you any more than that. It's not safe for you to know anything about what goes on with the club."

Those few lines tell me a lot. I don't say anything for a moment. It's not safe? So what does that mean?

"Jax, SAMCRO, it's not just a club is it? You're doing things that are illegal, aren't you?"

Jax sits there for a minute or two contemplating what his response should be." Tar, you've got to give me your word you won't say anything to anyone. Anything you see or hear could cause SAMCRO and me to be in a lot of trouble. Can you do that?"

Oh God. What have I gotten myself into? Donna was right for feeling the way she was earlier. I must have been quiet for quite a while because I feel Jax sit up and lean in to look at me.

"Jax, I love you. I'm not going anywhere and I'm not going to say anything, but how bad is SAMCRO? Are we talking outlaw status?"

I hear Jax give a little bit of a chuckle.

" I guess you could call us an outlaw motorcycle club, darlin. It's what we do. Now you going to order up that pizza or do I have to?"

I guess that's the end of the discussion for now about SAMCRO and what they are really into. I'm not sure I'm kosher with what Jax and the club do but I'm not willing to walk away from him when I've just found him either.

"I'll order up that pizza, babe, on one condition."

Jax turns to me."What's that?"

" You stay here with me tonight and give me more of whatever it was came over you, over there against the wall, like an animal."

He chuckles, I order the pizza and snuggle down with my baby until the pizza arrives.


	22. Chapter 22

_**A/N Well ladies and Gents..here it is..Jax's POV! I wanted to shake it up a little bit this chapter. Hope you all enjoy! Thanks Anne for being a wonderful Beta! Much love to you! **_

_**As usual KS is the genius here I'm merely just adding to a story that's already been told! **_

Jax POV

I wake up to the uncomfortable feeling of my arm being asleep. I know Tara's head is laying on it and I really don't want to wake her by moving it but damn, this shit hurts! I slowly slide my arm out from underneath her head and her breath hitches a little bit but she doesn't wake up. I look at the clock and it's 2:32 AM. We've barely been asleep for more than an hour but I'm really not tired enough to sleep anymore right now. I wonder if I get up for a smoke if she'll feel me move and wake up? Worth a shot. A smoke sounds like a hell of a good idea right now.

Thankfully, I'm the one lying on the outside of the bed, closest to the door. I slowly take one leg and place it off the bed on the floor, glancing over at her still sleeping form, I follow suit with the other, sitting up. She's still sleeping. I slowly stand up and her breathing continues to be steady. I quietly look around for my boxers and my jeans, slipping them on silently. I make my way down the hall, stopping at my cut, to grab my pack of smokes and a lighter. Still being robber silent, I open the French doors out onto the patio. It's a beautiful night. I light up and inhale that first jarring breath of nicotine and tar, exhaling slowly.

There's a lot of shit running through my mind right now. I love Tara - that's the first thing. I've never loved a girl before. Ya I've fucked 'em and played 'em, that's what SAMCRO does but this is something entirely different. Am I ready for this and how in the hell do I make sure I don't hurt her? I've never given a rat's ass if any of the others got their hearts broken; it's never affected my heart. With that realization, I inhale another hit. If she hurts, I hurt. What the fuck's with this shit? I mean right from the beginning, it's been me being there for Tara. I mean shit, her mom died and her dad's been in the hospital. I can't help but want to take care of her. She brings that out in me. I've never actually let anyone in as much as her, well maybe besides Op. Op pretty much knows exactly who and what I am, with no judgment.

Then there is the topic of SAMCRO. I don't know what I was thinking when I laid my gun and holster on the bench by the door. Maybe a part of me wanted her to see me for exactly what I am. Today I had to use that gun. Maybe I wanted her to ask me if I've killed for the club, maybe I wanted to scare her away. How would I answer? Would I tell her that this morning, when I rushed out of TM, we were headed to a warehouse to meet with the Irish about guns and they weren't sure if they wanted to deal with us anymore. And would I tell her that the Mayans showed up, guns blazing and that all of SAMCRO was in a shootout with these Mexican pricks and one of our guys, Otto, took a bullet to the shoulder. How would Tara feel if that had been me that got shot? Would she stick around or would I have been standing in a very different place than I am right now?

Jesus Christ, I run my hand through my hair, what exactly do I fucking tell her? She knows now we are an outlaw club but does she really grasp what's meant by that word. We kill people. Shit, there's a guy named Happy and that's all he does for the club. Granted, he's part of the Tacoma Charter but when he's needed for something seriously fucked up it's Happy that Clay calls. Damn it, I look down and my smoke is gone. I pull another out of my pack. Who knew having a girlfriend I actually cared about would stress me out so much. Just as I flick the lighter to light another smoke, I hear the door click and out walks Tara wrapped in a blanket, bare foot and looking beautiful.

"Hey babe, what are you doing?" She says to me as my back is turned to her, looking out over her back yard. I turn around, leaning on the rail and give her one of my signature Jax grins, making her think everything is ok.

"I just stepped out here for a smoke, babe. Didn't want to wake you. I couldn't sleep."

She walks over to me and wraps her arms around my waist and leans her head on my chest.

"Jackson, are you sure you're ok?"

I feel myself nod my head. There is no way I'm going to let her know what was just running through my mind or what went on with the club today. Best thing to do is to keep her sheltered and safe. I'm not sure she'd like the me I am with the dark side of the club. I push myself away from the railing and start walking Tara backwards, back toward the house.

"Come on babe, let's go back to bed. Tomorrow is a big day with your dad coming home."

I twist my back around, flicking my cigarette over the railing, pause once I'm inside to lock the French doors. I really needed more thinking time but there's no way to do that now with Tara awake. I may as well push all these thoughts away until another day and go lay down with my beautiful girl. God, there I go again, Sap, I mutter to myself.

"What did you say, Jax?"

"Nothin' babe, you ready to go back to bed?"

She shakes her head and makes her way back to her room, me right behind her. The last thing I think before I fall back asleep is how lucky I am she's mine and that I'd do just about anything to make sure she stays that way.


	23. Chapter 23

A/N Sorry this chapter is so short! I've been super busy all weekend long and didn't get a chance to sit down and write, and when I did my word program crashed so I had to write this chapter on my iphone! I also am not sure which direction I'm taking this story yet so that doesn't help. Thanks to Anne for being my beta! Much love to her and to all of you on this Valentine's day!

As usual no copyright intended! I just love KS and SOA! Keep reading and reviewing and maybe since I flubbed up this week you'll all get a double dose next week. No promises though!

When I woke up the next morning, I rolled over expecting to feel Jax sleeping next to me. What I found instead was an empty pillow with a note on top that read "Morning babe. I couldn't sleep so I got up and headed to TM early to get some work done. Talk to you later k? Love you."

I rolled back over with a sigh. Looks like I'm on my own, to go and get my dad, and bring him home. I was kind of hoping Jax would go with me. I'm not sure but I just have this feeling, things between my dad and I, are going to be awkward. As that thought finished running through my head, my phone rings and I see it's a number from the hospital. I answer and it's my dad.

"Hey Tara, it's your dad. They tell me I get to come home today, would you come pick me up?"

I tell him I will be on my way there in a few. He tells me goodbye and hangs up. Ugh, this is so weird! I've always been closer to my mom than my dad and now it's just me and him. I'm not even really used to him being home. He's usually gone on some business trip or something. Now what? Without my mother as a buffer, things are just going to be different.

Grabbing my purse, I head out to my car. Thinking better of it, I go back through the house and decide to take my mother's Cadillac. Dad will probably be more comfortable riding home in it than my mustang. I grab her keys off the hook and I pause for a minute thinking that the last person to touch these, was my mom. I wrap my fingers around them and bring them to my lips giving them a little kiss and make myself walk through the door and get into her car. I hadn't realized just how much someone's car could smell like them. I feel surrounded by her. The smell of her perfume is so strong it's almost as if she's sitting in the passenger seat next to me! I open the garage and slowly back out as I begin to smile. I'm not alone going to go get my dad, my mom is right here with me!

...

When I get to dad's room, he's up and dressed and ready to go.

"Aren't there papers you've got to sign or something?" I ask him. He shakes his head no and tells me he's already done them and is just ready to go home. I help him into the wheel chair and we leave ICU behind.

...

My dad looks kind of lost as he sits in the passenger seat. I know if I could smell my mother's perfume so could he. Without saying anything, I pull away from the hospital and start my dad toward his new life without my mother.

When we get home, I ask him if he needs my help getting out of the car and into the house. He shakes his head no and I make my way into the house with him walking slowly behind. He steps through the door and looks around almost as if he thought my mother would be there waiting. I asked my dad if he needed me to get anything for him and he said he didn't and then slowly made his way into him and my mom's room. I didn't follow. I know he needs this time alone. I've had time to start the emotional healing process while he was in the hospital; he's just beginning it.

Lost in thought, I didn't hear the roar of a motorcycle until it's right outside the house. Jax walks up and goes to knock. I let a deep breath out, my savior is here. He always helps with the stress of the day.


	24. Chapter 24

_**A/N Thanks Anne! Much love to you and Traci! Hope you all enjoy this! If you have any ideas on where I should take this story please send it in with your review! I'd love some ideas! Enjoy! **_

_**As usual KS OWNS me and The Sons and all the people in this story! Can't wait for WTF Sutter! Woo hoo we're gearing back up for our boys! #Hellyeah! **_

Before Jax can even knock, I've got the door flung wide open. He looks a little stunned.

¡°Everything alright, darlin?"

I quickly tell him nothing major is wrong, just the stress of the day catching up with me. Jax nods and then asks me if I'd like to go hang out at the clubhouse for a while with Opie and Donna. Of course, I'd like to go and get out of here. My dad is holed up in his room and I'm sure he's either sleeping or thinking of my mom. I tell Jax to just give me a minute to see if he needs anything before I leave and to grab a jacket. He nods and I see him light up a cigarette as I close the door. I walk down the hallway and go to knock on my dad's door when I hear him sobbing. It's best I just leave him be. I write a note and stick it to the fridge. I know he'll look there; it's something I've always done. Grabbing my jacket, I quickly exit the house before I really start thinking about why my dad's in his room crying.

Jax crushes his cigarette out and walks towards me, putting his arm around me and kissing my cheek.

¡°I'm sorry babe, wish I could have been there with you today. I had some shit I had to take care of."

Honestly I'm starting to wonder what all this shit he has to take care of is. Now that I think about it, it was odd that last night I found him smoking all alone in the middle of the night on the deck and then this morning he didn't wake me, just left a note. Definitely not behavior that is normal for him. I didn't say anything though and just nodded as he hands me my helmet. It's the perfect night for a ride. The moon is high and temperatures are cooling down. I tell Jax to hold on a second as I put my leather jacket on. I can't help but wonder what people think of us when we pull up next to them, him in his SOA cut and me on the back. Do they think about what a nice young couple we are or do they look immediately at Jax's cut and lock their doors and grow a little bit more alert to their surroundings. I shivered a little bit, then made myself stop. This thought process wasn't going to get me anywhere. I knew Jax wasn't Mr. Goody Two Shoes when I started dating him.

Jax starts the bike but before we take off I ask him if we can kind of cruise around for a little bit. He smiles that adorable smile and tells me of course we can. I wrap my arms around him, feeling the lump of his shoulder harness and quickly push any thoughts about that down. I don't want to think about it right now, tomorrow, I'll think about it tomorrow. Tonight I just want to relax, enjoy a ride with my boyfriend and forget about anything that's weighing on my mind. Jax slowly drives us around town and heads out toward the Charming border and miles of country road. Looking ahead, it's dark, no one around. Perfect. Just past the sign, Jax hammers the throttle and we're free. A giggle escapes from my mouth and I hear Jax chuckle. I think he enjoys the feeling of me letting go. I wrap my arms tighter around him and place a kiss on the back of his neck. I love this man. Do I really care what he is or what he does? No. That's my frame of mind right now. I feel Jax take one hand and reach to his side where my hands are and he entwines his hand with mine. I'm not alone in these feelings, he's right there with me.

Up ahead, I see lights headed our way, just as they are about to pass us, I notice it's three motorcycles and they swerve into our lane, almost running us off the road. I hear Jax mutter 'Son of a bitch' and feel him ease up on the throttle. He turns his head to the side and yells at me to hold on tight because things might be a little dangerous for a minute. I don't say anything, just nod. I'm kind of getting freaked out here. Who are these people that just tried to run us off the road, I was about to ask Jax when he slams on the brakes skidding sideways and turning us back around towards Charming. Jax turns to me as he's accelerating,

¡°If anything happens to me, run. Whatever you do, don't let them get you. Try and make it to the clubhouse, tell the guys what happened. You promise?"

I swallow hard and nod an ok. What the fuck is going on? I hear the roar of motorcycles but don't see any lights, then all the sudden they are in our lane, flying past us, trying to run us off the road again. They turn around and turn back on their lights. The three of them come around us and box us in. I hear one of them yell

¡°Pull over Teller, now!"

Jax doesn't really have a choice. We're surrounded! He pulls over on the shoulder of the road, just shy of the Charming city limits sign. He tells me to stay on the bike as he climbs off with his hand tucked into his cut, Ii'm assuming on his gun. This can't be good. A man climbs off his bike wearing a Mayan's cut and pointed cowboy boots. The man is just scary!

¡°Teller, leaving your precious city without any backup, ese? Don't they teach you anything when you're prospecting?"

Jax sneers at him.

¡°Think you're a tough guy, ese? Who's that with you? Not even smart enough to keep your bitch safe. Young mamacita like her, you gotta watch where you take her, you know."

Jax hops off his bike where he was leaning and goes to get into this man's face.

¡°Marcus, my father never had any beef with you or the Mayans."

¡°Is true little Teller, he didn't, but your stepfather and president is a different story. I'm going to let you and your punta go this time. Next time, I might not be so nice."

Jax stands there with his fists clenched and his breathing heavy as the Mayan called Marcus and the other two men turn around, start their bikes and drive away. Jax spits on the ground after them.

¡°Those motherfuckers better watch out, threatening us like that. Next time they better keep on riding."

Without letting me say a word, he gets on the bike, revs the engine and we head back into Charming city limits at break neck speed. I know where we are headed, Teller Morrow and the rest of SAMCRO. We pull into the lot and instead of parking his bike in line with the rest, he pulls up almost to the door, climbs off and doesn't wait for me to follow. He stalks into the clubhouse, looking for all the world like he's ready to kick ass. Tig's the first one to take notice of the anger rolling off Jax.

¡°What's got you all fucked up man?" Tig asks Jax.

Jax tells Tig he'll get into it after everyone gets assembled at church. He tells me to go in back and find Donna and stay there with her and send Opie out his way. I really don't understand what happened but I'm not about to ask questions now. So much for getting rid of some of the stress from the day, If anything, I'm more stressed now than ever!


	25. Chapter 25

Donna was sitting on the bed, reading a book, when I knocked and the door swung open. I glance around and don't see Opie.

¡°Where's Op, I'm supposed to send him to the Chapel?"

Donna nods her head toward the bathroom and then looks back down to her book. Opie comes out of the bathroom with a huge shit eating grin and a "Don't go in there" coming out of his mouth. I just shake my head at him. Typical guy!

¡°Hey Tar, what's up? Where's Jax?"

I let Opie know he's supposed to be headed out to the chapel for church and he hurriedly kisses Donna on the cheek, throws a wave at me and walks out. During this whole exchange, Donna has not said a word. I can't help but wonder if she's angry with me over something so I ask her.

¡°Don, are you mad at me? Did I do something I'm not aware of to anger you?

I see her finally place a sticky note on her page and close the book. She takes a minute to answer.

¡°I'm not mad at you, Tar. Just thinking how different life was a few weeks ago and thinking maybe we've gotten ourselves into something bigger than what we know."

I make my way over to the bed and lie down next to her on my stomach.

¡°What do you mean? With Jax and Op or you mean with SAMCRO?"

As I ask her this, I think to myself, and she doesn't even know about what just happened with Jax and I yet.

¡°I hear things around here, Tar. I live here. They don't openly tell me club business but I hear bits and pieces, enough to piece them together. Did you know they are rivals with an MC called The Mayans? Tar, that MC has sent over threats telling SAMCRO if they don't like what they are doing to watch their backs."

I nod. I do know.

¡°I know because tonight, before Jax and I got here, we took a ride. On our way out of Charming, we almost got run over by a pack of these Mayans! They damn near ran us off the road. A man I'm assuming is the president told Jax he needs to do a better job of protecting me and making sure I stay within Charming city limits. It seems this Mayan has a beef with Clay. They threatened to not be so nice next time they caught us alone, outside of Charming, and let us go."

Donna lets out a gasp.

¡°Seriously? See I told you we're in way over our heads! I didn't sign up to be in a gang. You and I, Tar, come from good families and have good educations in our future with good jobs. I want to go to college. I know you're planning on going to college, if and it sounds like it's a big if, we don't get killed for dating members of SAMCRO first!"

I think Donna is over reacting a little bit. OK maybe more like a tiny bit. She does have a valid point. I hadn't even told her yet about Jax carrying a gun. Makes me wonder if Opie does and if so how does he hide it from Donna!

¡°So, what are you going to do, D? Are you leaving Opie over this? Where would you go?"

Donna sits silent for a moment before looking at me with hope in her eyes.

¡°I'm going to get Opie to choose me over SAMCRO."

Umm, uh oh, this really doesn't sound good! I look at my best friend and I open my mouth to ask her if she's lost her mind and then stop myself. The look on her face shows she really believes that Opie would choose her. I sit there for a minute with thoughts swirling around in my head while Donna continues talking.

¡°We found a house to rent. It's a few streets over from Opie's Dad's place on Langdon. I'm going to apply at Floyd's for a waitressing job that just opened up. Opie said he's got enough money sacked away to pay for the first month or two until I can help out. To my way of thinking, if I can get him living a normal life at home with me, he won't need the club. Come fall I'll apply to Lodi Community College and take a few classes here and there. By then hopefully Opie will see what he'd be losing if I walked out and tell SAMCRO to shove it."

I can't do anything but sit there with my mouth open. She's delusional! She really thinks this cockamamie plan of hers is going to work! She's sitting there looking at me waiting for me to say something. There is a pleading in her eyes, almost asking me to please side with her and tell her I think her plan will work. I can't seem to formulate thoughts. I know what I should say and it's Hell no that won't work but I know I can't say that without her getting mad. Just as I was about to put my foot in my mouth, Jax and Opie walk in. Jax walks up and sits down next to me on the bed.

¡°Yo, you OK Doll? Sorry I kind of freaked out and went all SAMCRO like that."

I tell him I'm OK leaning into him and putting my head on his shoulder. Opie's phone rings and he steps out in the hallway to answer. I hear him say Uh huh and ya OK we'll head that way. Great! I'm going to have to finish my chat with Donna. The guys are leaving. Opie walks into the room with a grin.

¡°Donna, baby, that was the guy with the rental. He says if we want to meet him over there we can sign the papers and get the keys tonight!"

Donna jumps up and Opie picks her up and swings her around. Opie looks at Jax and I and asks us if we want to ride over with them and check out their new digs. Of course Jax and I want to go! I glance at Donna and she's got this look like she's just won part of a battle. I'm tabling this discussion for now but I'm guessing it's going to come back up especially when things don't go exactly the way Donna plans.


	26. Chapter 26

_**A/N Sorry for the delay everyone! It's been a rough few weeks for me at work and by the time i've made it home i'm exhausted. I finally had a burst of creativity last night. I hope you all are still interested in what i've got to write! I had a short story idea come to me just now for when I finish this one up! Keep those Reviews coming and if there is something you'd like to see written or in the story line please don't hesitate to tell me your ideas! **_

_**As usual NO COPYRIGHT intended. These characters were created and brought to life by the one, the only Kurt Sutter! I'm merely just adding to what he's already created! **_

_**Please keep reading! ~A~ **_

The ride to Opie and Donna's new place was smooth. It was a beautiful night, full bright moon. After the stress of the day, I really enjoyed feeling the wind in my hair and Jax's leather under my arms. Instead of watching where we were riding, I leaned my head on Jax's shoulder and enjoyed the feel of the world rushing by and the comfort of just being with Jax. Riding along in the night like this allows my brain to wander. Where would I be if Jax hadn't dropped his apple on my lunch table? In such a short time, I feel as if I've met my soul mate. I know I'm young but Jax fills the pieces of me that were left open and empty. I know without Jax the death of my mom would have left me wasted and wandering. I'm not sure I could have functioned. He's made it possible to still be me in the aftermath of all this tragedy.

All too soon, we pull up at the curb of a small ranch style house; it's painted a bright sunny yellow color . Place looks nice. Not bad for two young kids starting out. Jax and I stay sitting on the bike while Donna and Op meet with the home owner. Money passes hands as does a key and before long the owner drives away. Jax and I climb off the bike and walk up the drive way to follow our best friends into their new digs.

I don't know what I was expecting walking through that front door but it sure as hell wasn't what I saw. It was clean, a little out dated but still clean. The door opens into a pretty decent sized living room. To the left is a little alcove, with a bedroom at the north and the south and in the middle is the full bathroom. To the right is the dining room and kitchen, and on the other side of the kitchen is the master bedroom. While Jax and I are wandering around checking out things, Opie and Donna are standing in the middle of the living room with shit eating grins on their faces. Jax leans in and whispers to me how cool it would be if we had a place. I can only let myself dream, so I nod yes and lean in for a kiss. How cool would it be for Jax and I to be in Opie and Donna's place? I can picture coming home from school and him coming home from work, cooking dinner, making love, hanging out, just being us, two people in love. Then there would be mornings snuggled in bed, with the California sun shining through the window, happiness all around. A perfect world which is why I know it can never happen. Nothing in this world is perfect, ever. Jax breaks my day dream by pulling me over to Opie and Donna and congratulating them on their new place. Opie smiles tells us thank you and turns back to Donna giving her a deep loving kiss. Jax pulls me to the door.

¡°Where are we going, Jax?"

He laughs and asks if I want to stay and watch Opie and Donna get it on, in the middle of the living room. I glance back and he's right, it's definitely time to split. We shout a goodbye and walk out into the bright moonlight night.

¡°Where to, Darling? You wanna go home or should we go to this place I know and look at the stars?"

I tell Jax that looking at the stars sounds awesome. I'm not ready to go home and face my dad. Jax turns the bike around and we head back the way we came. I'm wondering where we are going when he turns into TM. What? We're star gazing at TM? Ok now I'm confused. Jax climbs off the bike and grabs my hand telling me to follow him. He takes me to the back of the building and pulls down this ladder. We climb to the roof that overlooks the whole TM property. This time of night the place is almost deserted. It's quiet.

¡°You like it up here, Tara?"

I'm enjoying the quiet so instead of answering I nod a yes. Jax takes a breath and begins talking.

¡°When I was little, I used to sit up here and think about what it would be like to be down there and be one of the guys. They'd pull in on their motorcycles looking all bad ass and tough with their leather cuts on. My whole life I wanted to be a part of SAMCRO. I smoked my first cigarette up here and then my first joint. My old man and Opie's old man never thought to look up here for us. Shit, Op and I got drunk the first time up here, Opie's drunk ass almost fell over the edge. You're the first person besides Opie and myself who's been up here. Tara, I love you. I never thought that I could feel so strongly about someone, well besides Op. He's like my brother, shit, he is my brother but you're different. It's like we're supposed to be together. It scares me Tara, the way I feel about you. You're all I think about, sometimes I can't get you out of my head and I just have to see you."

With that he lets the sound of his voice fade into the night. I don't know quite what to say so instead I grab his face and place a kiss to his lips, letting my lips linger there for a minute. I pull away and look into the bright blue eyes I've come to depend on and get lost in.

¡°I love you too, Jackson Teller. The past few days, since I found out about you carrying that gun I began to doubt if I could be with you, deal with all this. Tonight, seeing the look on your face when you talk about always wanting to be SAMCRO, it made me realize you are who you are, Jackson. I mean sure you'd be you without SAMCRO but SAMCRO is so much of what you are that without it you'd be someone different. Get what I'm saying?"

Jax chuckles and places a kiss on my forehead.

¡°So what you're saying is you can love an outlaw bad boy biker, like me?

I look at him and smile. I also wonder if I should tell Jax about Donna's plan. If Jax feels like SAMCRO is his blood then I'm sure Opie does too.

¡°I can, babe. I can. Umm, I think I need to tell you something. I'm not sure what you're going to do about it, if anything, but Donna has this plan, she thinks she can get Opie to quit SAMCRO. The idea of Opie doing, well you know doing what you guys do freaks her out."

Jax nods and sits in silence for a minute or so.

¡°I had a feeling something like that was running through her head. Honestly, I had to wonder if it was yours too. Thanks for throwing this out to me but, I think I'll just wait and see where it lands, ya know?"

I tell him I think that's a good idea. I sit there, snuggled up to Jax, with my head on his shoulder and for the moment, life can't get much better. I shut out the world and just enjoy the now and the now is perfect.


	27. Chapter 27

I hated to go home that night. Part of me wanted to just stay with Jax and forget the rest of the world existed, even for one night. I wanted to feel as if Jax and I were the only people on earth. SAMCRO didn't exist, Donna and her crazy whacked out plan didn't exist, and the death of my mom and my grieving father didn't exist. Jax and I stayed up on that roof until well after 2 am. I finally made him take me home. As we pulled up to the driveway, he kissed me slowly and asked me if I wanted him to come inside. I shook my head no and told him I wasn't sure what I was walking into and it probably would be best if he didn't.

That was 2 days ago. Little did I know I was walking into a house that had been trashed by my very drunk father. The whiskey fueled with his pain pills had made him violet to the point where he ripped everything apart. All my mother's things were strewn around the house, ripped to shreds, and ruined. I found my dad in the middle of the living room, surrounded by her things, passed out. Not what I expected at all.

Upon waking up today, my first thought was wondering if today was going to be another drunken haze for my dad. Instead of condemning the thing that caused the accident, he welcomed the alcohol with open arms. Getting out of bed, I pad into my bathroom and jump in the shower, enjoying the feel of the warm water beating down my back, taking away some of the worry of things to come. After getting dressed, I walk down stairs to an empty house. Wow really, my dad must have gotten up and went into work. That should be interesting. My dad's a top exec for an advertising company, somehow I don't think they will welcome someone hung over and unkempt.

There are a few more things to pick up from his temper tantrum the night before and then I think I'll call Donna and see if she needs any help moving things into her new house. I haven't had much time to talk to Jax either. I miss him. He offered to come and help me clean up the mess from my dad but I needed to do it myself. By the time I had cleaned everything up, there was almost nothing left of my mother's. My father had pretty much ripped, torn and demolished everything that belonged to her. Not exactly the way I wanted to move her things out of the house but I guess it wasn't my decision. Shaking my head out of my reverie, I hear a knock at the back door. Looking out, I see an angel with blonde hair and blue eyes. A smile instantly spreads across my face. Running to the door, I open it and launch myself into his arms.

¡°God Jax I missed you, these past few days have been hell. You should have seen this place when I got home!"

Jax glances around and take in the holes in the drywall and the knick knacks that are missing around the house and sighs.

¡°So sorry you had to deal with this, babe."

Jax was always so good about this stuff. Maybe it's because he lost his dad and knows what the grieving process feels like. I really don't know.

¡°Listen babe, I can't stay. I just wanted to check on you and see how you are holding up. I'm backed up at the shop, got 3 bikes that need shit done to 'em. You want to hang out later? Maybe meet up at Donna and Op's, play some cards and drink a few beers?"

I tell him it sounds like a plan to me. He kisses me goodbye and takes off. I sigh. I'm feeling restless, uneasy, off somehow. I know I need to start thinking college but it seems like everything else takes precedence. My plan was always to go away, now I'm not so sure. I don't trust my dad to do what needs to be done and I don't want to leave Jax. Right now, I feel like I need the rock he's become to me. I walk up to my room and log onto the web site for Lodi Community College and hit the Apply tab. It's now or never. I mean it's not like I have to stay home right? I can go to LCC for a year or so and then strike out on my own like Ii'd always planned. The application process was easy, as was the entrance exam. They wanted me to post an essay along with the application so I took one I had written on Al Capone and copied it into the box. Finally entering my social security number as my signature, I hit submit. Now the waiting game began.

I'm not worried about getting into a community college. I was already accepted into some other more prominent colleges before my mother's accident and before meeting Jax. I hope the acceptance letter comes soon so I can get top pick of classes. Getting up from my desk I wander around my room wondering what I should do now. I could call Donna, but, I really don't want to. The problem is I really don't want to do anything. I want to lie down in my bed and stay there all day. What would the old Tara have done? She'd have gone for a run! Since softball season ended, I haven't done anything even remotely considered exercise, well...unless you count sex as exercise! Grabbing my walkman and pulling my hair into a pony tail, I head down stairs and out the door.

I run my old route which is about 3 miles. Before I even get to my second mile, I'm winded. Guess it really has been a long time. I slow down to a walk and take in the soulful sounds of Christina Aguilera. Rounding the corner to my house, I felt better, working out always helps. I had just forgotten how much. Damn it, I've got to take another shower! Oh well that will take up some more time. What I really need is a day lounging by the pool, soaking up the sun. That gets me thinking. I wonder if Donna has talked to her parents. Maybe they'd both be at work and we could sneak over there for some fun in the sun! Maybe I will call her after all!

After my shower, I pick up my phone and dial Donna. She answers after the first ring. When I propose the plan to her, she starts laughing and says it sounds like a great idea! Girl's day at the pool, here we come! I tell her I'll swing by her house in 10 to pick her up and hang up. We've not done anything summery all summer! I'm excited. I put on my black and pink halter bikini, slip on some board shorts and a tank, grab my favorite beach towel and head out the door! Suddenly the day has gotten better and my mood brightens. I throw some Bush in the CD player, roll down the windows and gun it towards Donna's! She's waiting on the porch when I pull up. Seems she needs this day as much as I do. She hops in the car, shoots a huge smile my way and sings along to Machine head as I pull away from the curb. Now all I hope is that her parents are gone and the day goes as planned!


	28. Chapter 28

_A/N Thank you all for being so patient. It's been super nice here in Michigan so i've not been home a lot or i've been outside enjoying this unusual spring weather. I appologize for lagging on posting chapters. I'm going to try and stick with Tuesdays but it may not always be possible. I hope you all are still enjoying my writing! Keep REVIEWING. Without reviews i'll think people aren't reading and may stop writing!_

_Thanks Anne for proofing this for me! _

_As usual KS owns EVERYTHING..i'm just expounding on what he's already created. No copyright intended! _

We pull into the drive way at Donna's Mom and Dad's place. There are no cars in the driveway which is odd. I hear Donna gasp. Now I've realized what's missing. Donna's car! I look over to her and she's staring at the place where her car used to be, with her mouth dropped open, and her eyes open wide.

¡°You ok?" I ask her.

She turns to look at me, her face slowly going back to normal, but still with a look that tells me she's not ok with this unexpected turn of events. Without speaking, she shakes her head no. Without thinking what I'm doing, I start the car and back out of the drive way. We can't be here. It won't be relaxing for either of us with the black cloud, that is Donna's parents, hanging over our heads. I point my car towards Teller-Morrow. I've got an idea on where Donna and I can go but want to ask Jax if he thinks it's alright. Donna asks me where we are going but I just ignore her question and keep singing to the cool sounds of Santana.

¡° Oh Maria Maria  
>She fell in love in East L.A.<br>To the sounds of the guitar,  
>Played by Carlos Santana"<p>

This song takes me away. It always has.

We drive for another few minutes and when we get to TM, I see Jax is in one of the bays working on a bike. He's Surprised to see me; he hops up, wiping his hands off on a red shop towel hanging from his back pocket. Opie who's crouched down at another bike a few feet away looks up, wipes the sweat from his brow, nods a hello and goes back to what he's doing.

¡°What's up babe? Didn't expect to see you here today. Not that I mind..but...ya ok..never mind..what's up?

I ask Jax if he thinks it would be alright if Donna and I went out to Jax's place on that beach owned by Elliot. Jax takes a minute to answer which I find odd.

¡°That's leaving Charming, Tar. You heard the warning the Mayans issued to us the other day."

Oh shit. I totally forgot about that. Well didn't really forget more like didn't really think about not being able to leave Charming. I start to frown and Jax must catch it.

¡°Hold on a sec, ok babe. Lemme go check something. Give me a minute, ok?"

Jax walks off just as Donna comes up. Seeing Opie she walks over to him. He looks up and takes in the somber way her face looks and stops what he's doing.

¡°What's the matter, baby?"

I see tears start streaming down her face and in one quick motion Opie drops his wrench, wipes his hands on his towel and pulls her in for a hug. He looks at me over her shoulder.

¡°Tar, explain, now."

So I fill Opie in on what we found when we got to her parent's place. Muttering a near silent Son of a bitch, Opie smooths Donna's hair back away from her face kissing her forehead. I can hear him speaking softly to her not knowing what he's saying. I feel like I shouldn't be standing here, watching them. They make even these little moments seem very intimate.

Jax walks up and without saying a word grabs my hand and pulls me away.

¡°What's up with those two?"

I explain to him what we found or rather didn't find at Donna's Mom and Dad's and Jax mutters a Jesus Christ all while running his hand through his mane of blonde hair.

¡°That's too bad, Tar. What's Donna gonna do without wheels? Umm as for the beach, problem solved."

The latter part said with a sideways grin.

¡°What do you mean problem solved? Donna and I are safe to go?"

Jax smirks and tells me that's not exactly what he meant by problem solved.

¡°umm in order for you and Donna to go out of Charming TO such a desolate place, Clay thinks Opie and I should go with you guys, keep you safe."

¡°Clay thinks huh? Are you sure Clay thinks and Jax doesn't think?" I ask him with a grin.

Putting my hand on his heart Jax asks me if I could really think him capable of leaving his day's work to skip out and take his lady to the beach.

I laugh and pull my hand away. Of course I think that. It's exactly what he would do. Looking wounded, he laughs and turns around towards Donna and Op. Letting them in on the new plan I see a smile slowly creep across Donna's face as well as Opie's. Then Opie lets out a whoop!

¡°We're going to the beach. Fuck this sweat shop for the day."

He turns around to a few of the other guys who are working and jokingly tells them to have fun sweating to death, drops his shop towel, scoots all his parts and pieces under the bike he was working on and heads through the big bay doors.

I can't help but laugh. Opie, excited to go to the beach, well I never!

Jax grabs my hand and drags me out as well. It takes a minute to decide the plan. The guys hate riding in a cage so they want us to ride on their bikes with them, which is fine with me except neither bike has saddle bags, so there is no where to put any of our things. Jax tells me to give him a minute and disappears into the SAMCRO clubhouse. A few minutes later he walks out holding a back pack and in it he's already grabbed a few provisions including a bottle of butter shots and a bottle of watermelon pucker. He hands me the bag and tells me to go ahead and pack Donna's and my things in it. When that's done, I sling it over my shoulder. It's not really all that heavy for having booze, a few waters, suntan lotion and two beach towels.

Jax signals for me to get on the bike and Opie does the same to Donna. The guys hand us our helmets, start their bikes with a roar and we head out of the TM lot. Traffic is light since it's the middle of the day and the trip to the beach takes us maybe half an hour. I got a little nervous when we left Charming wondering if we were going to run into those Mayan people again but so far so good and the drive has been a peaceful one. We turn down the two tracks leading back to Jax's cliff. The sand is loose today and every few feet Jax has to put his feet down to keep us from toppling over. When we reach the end of the two track,there is a bit of grass so that's where we park the bikes to keep them from falling over also. I remove my helmet and climb off. God, it's beautiful here. I can see the echo of my thought on Donna's face as she stares out over the sapphire blue water.

Donna, Opie and myself follow Jax down the steps to the beach. It's then that I realize both Jax and Opie are still dressed as normal, Boots, jeans, t-shirts and cuts. How the hell can they stand being at the beach like that? I walk over to the edge of the cove and set down the bag, opening it and getting out our towels. Jax and Opie walk further back into the cave telling us they'll be right back. Donna and I walk out onto the beach a ways away from the shade and fan our towels out side by side. I slip my flip flops off leaving them next to my towel, next to go is my shirt. Ahh that sun feels awesome! Sitting down on my towel I hear the guys laughing behind us. Glancing back I expect to see the two bikers who went into the cave but instead I see Jax and Opie wearing board shorts, all things biker gone except for the tattoos Opie is starting to acquire. Speaking of tattoos, I wonder if Jax is planning on getting any. That's a subject we've never broached before. The guys walk up and sit down on our towels in front of us. Jax leans back between my legs, head on my lower stomach. I lean down giving him a kiss on the lips.

¡°I'm so glad Clay thought you and Op should accompany us to keep us safe, babe." I say with a laugh. Barely containing myself. Like Clay really thought they should come, slackers! They just wanted a beach day! Jax laughs puckering his lips for another kiss. One kiss with Jax is never enough, especially here. The memories of that first day are almost as visible to me as if there were two sets of ourselves here on this beach one doing and one watching. By the kiss that's going on with Jax and myself, I know he's remembering too. I break the kiss before I forget where we are and that we have an audience. I have to ask though;

¡°Where did you guys come up with two pairs of board shorts from?"

Jax grins and so does Opie.

¡°We keep them here. When Jax got his license, he'd steal my old man's dodge and drive us out here. It's where I learned all about explosives. My books are stashed back there by the back. Jax studied up on his mechanics for his license and read whatever other pussy shit it was he was reading."

I nod my head, Makes sense. I don't see the two of them openly reading books and studying at the clubhouse around the guys.

Jax snickers,

¡°Pussy shit Op? Come on man. Since when did you rag on me for being into books?"

Op laughs and nods his head, acknowledging that he shouldn't have said it but that it was all in good fun. I kiss Jax on the forehead and stand up headed for the water. Jax follows. Before I can get too far in, he's waded out to where the water is up past his knees. Next thing I know he's splashing me. I go running and tackle him and we both fall back into the water. Coming up, we're both laughing and clearing the water out of our eyes. He's got a sinister look to his face, as he drags me out even deeper to where the water is up to my chin and to Jax's shoulders. He pulls me close. I feel his hand move against my stomach and going down to my ass. Gripping my ass, he pulls me towards him and I wrap my legs around him, Instantly feeling his erection. My blood goes hot. There is a part of my brain that says we can't do this here. Not with Op and Donna on the shore. I turn to look back but Jax grabs my chin and turns me back around.

¡°They aren't watching us. They are involved in their own fun right now."

I nod, putting my bottom lip underneath my top teeth. I have never done anything like this before!

With jax holding me up by my ass and me helping with my arms around his neck our faces are so close. I stare into those deep blue eyes wondering if i'm seeing my future. Our lips meet and the world disappears. I feel him push my bottoms to the side. He enters one finger and then another pumping them in and out. I bite my bottom lip to keep from moaning. How does being in the water make such a sensory difference. Letting go of his neck with one arm I reach down with the other to stroke his cock. Keeping up the appearance of being deeply involved in a kiss, he's pumping with his fingers in out in out while he's flicking my clit and i'm pumping up down up down. A minute ago I thought the water was cold now my whole body is hot as if i'm in bath water. His tongue darts into my mouth and I bite down on it. He lets out a groan. I feel his erection pulse and I know he's getting as close as I am. I take his bottom lip into my mouth and stroke his erection harder and faster as he pumps into me harder and faster. I feel my toes curl and I feel him jerk. He breathes a sigh on his release just as he brings me over the edge. He pulls his fingers free and pushes my bottoms back into place. My arms are still wrapped around his neck and my lips are still attached to his. Breaking the kiss, I lean back letting the huge smile show on my face.

¡°Thanks babe."

¡°You're welcome, Darlin. Thanks yourself. I love when you let go and do something with me you've never done before."

Jax removes his hands from my ass and I straighten my shaky legs onto the sandy floor. Closing my eyes I lean in and give him one more kiss thinking that he'd just made today perfect.


	29. Chapter 29

_**A/N **__** Sorry i've been posting erratically. We've just recently bought a Harley among other things and I just amfalling behind on my writing. I hope you all still enjoy the story! Please keep reviewing! **_

_**Thanks to Anne for being my Beta..a wonderful one at that! **_

_**No copyright intended. I'm just a lover of KS and all tha the has created! **_

Chapter 29

Walking out of the water, back to my towel is rough. My legs feel shaky and weak like I've run 10 miles. Thinking about those 10 miles, makes me smile. Jax is out floating in the water and I'm going to lie on my towel and see if I can't get a bit of a tan. I'm not sure where Donna and Op went but I've got a pretty good guess considering her towel is missing and there is a dark cavern behind me. I lay down enjoying the feel of the hot sun warming my skin. I think I may have dozed off for a bit when I feel Jax kneel down on my towel laying himself completely over me.

¡°Stop Jax! That's cold! You're cold!"

I roll him off of me and his laugh is contagious because the both of us are lying there, laughing our asses off. Opie and Donna choose right then to come back out and join the land of the living.

¡°What the hell are you guys laughing so hard about?"

I laugh even harder at Opie's question. When my cheeks finally hurt and I can barely breath I realize I need to quit laughing. Going somber, I answer Opie's question with a shrug of my shoulder. He just shakes his head realizing there is no hope of a real answer. Opie lays Donna's towel back down where it was and then they head out to the water. I turn over on my side towards Jax who's just lying in the sand with his eyes closed. I reach my hand out and skim it across his abs. His eyes crack open and he growls out,

¡°If you don't stop that, we will be going back into that water or I'll take you right here on the beach in front of God and everyone."

I stop skimming my hand and just rest it on his stomach.

¡°Jax, are you ever going to get tattoos. Today I noticed Opie has quite a few and you have none."

Now his eyes become fully open and he takes a second before he answers.

¡°What would you think if I did? Do you like tattoos?"

I nod, thinking that yes, I think tattoos are sexy.

¡°Well, that's good because I actually have Happy working on one for me and one for you."

¡°One for me? Why would he be drawing one up for me?"

Jax sits there for a minute before replying

¡°The crow is a symbol of SAMCRO. All the ol' ladies have one. Once the crow is placed on your skin it means you're mine. Forever."

The latter was said with finality. Forever, that's a heavy word. Earlier, I wondered if my destiny was in those eyes and now Jax is talking about forever. I take a minute to formulate my words.

¡°So getting a crow is like a promise? A promise for a future together?"

¡°Yes darlin, that's exactly what it is. It's also a mark so if another guy tries to touch you, he'll know you're SAMCRO and that trying to steal you away from your ol' man wouldn't be the best of ideas."

I can't help the smile that spreads across my face. Jax wants me as his, like forever!

¡°I love you, Jackson Teller and I'd be happy to wear your crow if you want me to."

Jax's cocky grin spreads across his face and he gets up and gives me a kiss.

¡°Well shit, let's go back! I've gotta talk to Happy! We should do this tonight!"

With that, Jax disappears into the cavern as surfer Jax and reemerges biker Jax. I love them both. Standing up, I pull my board shorts on and slip my feet into my flip flops. Donna and Opie are just coming in from the water.

¡°What you guys doing, Tar?" Donna asks.

When I tell her we are going to go see a man about a tattoo, she gets a confused look on her face but nods like she doesn't think it's a bad idea. They towel off and we pack our things back into the pack noticing we never even touched the alcohol. Opie looks at Jax giving him a strange look. He pulls him aside and I can barely hear what he's saying but it almost sounds like; "are you sure you want to do this man? Giving her the crow is a big deal." I see Jax clap Opie on the back and nod. Op smiles then and says

¡°It's your life brother but if she makes you happy, than I'm happy."

With that both guys walk back over to Donna and I, who watched the exchange with curiosity and we all head back up the stairs. Stopping about midway up, I turn to look out over the ocean at the sun that's beginning to set. It's a sunset I think I will always remember. With that thought, I turn back around speeding up to catch up with the others. Hopping onto the back of Jax's bike, I have this feeling like I am exactly where I'm supposed to be. Something just feels so damn good that I can't imagine wanting to be anywhere else or with anyone other than Jax. It's almost as if fate has spoken for the second time. The apple was the nudge and the crow will be the cement that binds.


	30. Chapter 30

_**A/N Thanks everyone for reading! This chapters pretty short. The hubby came home while I was writing and I didn't want to keep you all waiting so I decided just to leave it as it is! Maybe i'll get to write Chapter 31 and post before next Tuesday as a bit of an i'm sorry gift to you all! Hope you still like where i'm taking Jax and Tara! Much love to all of you! **_

_**Thanks Anne! Your the bestest! **_

_**Enjoy...**_

Chapter 30

On the way back to the clubhouse, I start feeling nervous. The idea of having a tattoo or rather getting a tattoo has my stomach feeling queasy. I really want to do this for Jax but I'm scared. I never really had put too much thought into getting a tattoo before. It wasn't something I was all that interested in until Jax. I mean people that have them look pretty cool and all, I just didn't think "goody two shoes" Tara would look right with one. Funny thing is, since being with Jax, my opinion on so many things has changed, tattoos being one of them.

By the time we pull into TM, my hands are sweaty and my heart's racing. I'm excited and very nervous. Part of me is hoping Happy's gone back to Tacoma but another part of me really wants Jax's brand on me. Jax pulls into his parking space and puts his feet down, giving me the ok to go ahead and get off. Swinging my leg over the side, I stand up and move off to the side. Jax puts his kick stand down, hangs our helmets on his handlebars and turns to me with a huge grin.

¡°Let's go find Hap, ya?"

I can only nod. I feel like there's a giant lump in my throat. Jax grabs my hand and pulls me into the clubhouse. Following him through the main room, Jax asks Juice if he's seen Happy. Juice points him toward the chapel. The doors are open and Jax lets go of my hand and tells me to wait outside for a minute and walks in. I look around at the members of SAMCRO, kicked back chillin, and notice all of them have numerous tattoos. It can't be that bad, right? I mean all of these people wouldn't do something to their bodies that puts them in horrible pain, would they? Before I have a chance to answer that Tig walks over.

¡°Hey doll. What you guys up to?"

I tell Tig what the plan is because after that night of drinking I kind of like the guy, even if he's a bit on the odd side and Tig breaks out in a grin. He walks over to the bar and orders up shots of whiskey for everyone. Once they are passed out, Tig tells the group of misfits that I'm officially becoming Jax's old lady and everyone does their shot. Just as I'm finishing and feeling the burn, Jax walks out of the chapel looking around like he's confused. Next thing he knows, a shot glass is shoved in his hand by Chibs. He takes the shot and gives a 'what the fuck' kind of look. All the guys start whooping it up.

¡°What the hell is all this for, guys?"

They all start talking at once, telling him he's whipped and he's a goner and next thing they know Jax will be an old married man with kids on the way. Chibs slaps him on the back so hard Jax coughs. Happy decides right that moment to walk out into the clubhouse. Looking over at me, speaking quietly he asks Jax and I if we are ready, and to follow him back to the room he's using at the clubhouse. We follow him back leaving behind shouts and hoots and hollers. Jax slows down a bit putting some space between us and Happy, and he leans in whispering in my ear,

'You still want to do this babe? You seem kind of nervous and I don't want you to do something you're not totally on board with."

I shake my head and give him a half smile.

¡°I'm ready Jax. I want to do this. Being your ol' lady is important to me. I love you."

We walk in and Happy is unpacking his tattoo gun and ink, setting it all up in a row. Meticulous is the word that comes to mind. Jax lets got of my hand and swaggers over to where Hap is standing.

¡°Hap, do you need me to show you my ideas for the tatt on my arm and Tara's crow?"

For a minute it seems as if Happy didn't hear Jax. He just keeps on getting out the tools of his trade. Jax takes a step back giving him some room. A minute or so later Happy answers Jax back.

¡°No, I don't. My needle, my ink, my design."

Jax nods and Happy directs us to two chairs sat up by the table.

¡°Who's going first?"

Jax looks at me and says that if I don't mind he'd like to go first. I don't have a problem with that since I've never seen anyone get a tattoo before and I don't really know how it all works. Jax sits down in the chair facing Hap. Hap makes sure Jax still wants the tatt on the top of his forearm and gets to work. Dipping the gun into the ink and pressing it to Jax's skin, I hear the first buzzs of the tattoo. We sit there in silence for over an hour with the only sound the buzzing of the gun and the occasional break from Happy cleaning Jax's arm with paper towel and antibacterial solution. When Happy's done, I'm surprised to see that what's on Jax's arm isn't the reaper I thought he was getting but John Teller's grave with something weaving around it that looks almost like ivy. All I can do is stare. Happy's work is amazing. Jax walks over to the mirror holding his arm out so he can look at it, turning it left and right. A slow smile spreads across his face and before he can stop himself he's walked up to Happy, slapping him on the back thanking him profusely.

¡°This shit looks good, man. When you first suggested it, I was iffy but damn Hap, this would make JT proud."

Hap nods and turns around going back to clean his equpiment. Jax walks over to the mirror looking at his tatt again. He can't seem to look at it enough. It's seriously awesome. I'd be staring at it too.

¡°It's your turn, babe. You ready?"


	31. Chapter 31

_**A/N~ Thanks all for reading! I appreciate all the author favorites and story favorites you all have given me! Sorry again this week it's delayed past Tuesday. I'm trying to get it out on time life just isn't cooperating right now. Thanks Anne! I appreciate the time you take to beta this for me! You have no clue how much I appreciate it! **_

_**As usual KS is the genius..i'm merely an underling who has fallen in love with the characters created by his mind. No copyright intended.**_

_**Please review. If no one's reading this anymore I won't continue and i'll start on another project. It's all up to you..the readers! ~A~**_

I hear Jax say it's my turn and my hands immediately start to sweat. To say I'm only nervous is an understatement. I can only speculate, at this point, how getting a tattoo feels and I'm sure it's not a walk in the park. I nod letting Jax know I'm ready and walk over to where Happy's cleaning his equipment.

¡°I'm ready Hap, whenever you are."

Hap nods and then asks where I'd like my crow. I hadn't really thought about it all that much, to be honest. I look over at Jax and before I can ask the question, he asks me if I'd like it on my back, just above my waistline.

¡°I know your dad would freak out if you got a tattoo that's always visible, like my arm is now. Probably best if you can hide it underneath some clothes, don't ya think?'

I agree. I turn toward Hap and tell him that my lower back is just fine. He nods and smiles and then tells me to pull my shirt up and sit down facing the other empty chair, leaning over so my back is flat. I do as he asks, tucking my shirt up into the bottom of my bra. After I've sat down Happy tells me I need to fold down the top of my jeans so I stand up and Jax is right there and unbuttons my jeans with a smirk on his face. I can only imagine what's running through that brain of his. Hopefully I'll get to find out later!

I sit down and look back toward Happy, letting him know that I'm ready. Jax has pulled up a chair in front of me and grabs hold of my hand. That's not a good sign. If he thinks I need hand holding, I have a feeling this isn't going to feel good!

¡°You ready Tara?" Hap asks.

I nod and I hear the buzzing of the gun begin. I feel the first prick of the needle and I fight the urge to move away from it. Ouch! I squeeze Jax's hand and he laughs. It feels to me like when I was running through the woods as a child and scraped my leg with a branch only worse and constant. Jax and I sit in silence, letting Happy do his work. The further Happy goes out on my back from my spine the worse it feels. I can feel myself getting clammy. I'm breaking out into a cold sweat. I always thought tattoos looked cool but never really imagined the pain that came with them. I mean this is crazy! Why would anyone willingly do this more than once? All I can do at this point is sit there and wait for it all to be over. About 40 minutes into it, Jax stands up and walks behind me.

¡°That's fucking awesome, Hap!" I hear him say.

Turning slightly, I ask if I can see it. Hap smirks and says no and continues tattooing. I beg Jax with my eyes to go grab a mirror but he shakes his head no and stays standing with his arms crossed.

¡°Tar, your half way done. Hap's got your outline done, now he just has to color it in."

I think that maybe the coloring in part won't hurt as bad. I was wrong. Remember that stick I was talking about, well now that stick is dragging over already raw skin, or at least that's what it feels like. I can't help but grit my teeth. It continues on like this for about another twenty to twenty-five minutes and then I hear the buzzing stop and feel Happy wiping my back with something cool and then applying something that feels like an ointment. When he's finished, he tells me I'm all done and can go take a look. Walking over to the full length mirror next to the door, I slowly turn around and glance behind me, afraid of what I'm going to see. What I see though, is beautiful. Its wing span goes from almost hip to hip across my back. It's all black. Not a bit of color and the lines are perfect. Jax and Happy are standing there waiting for my reaction. I look forward and a smile spreads across my lips. I walk over to Happy and before I think better of it, I wrap him up in a hug. I tell him thank you and he grunts and nods and steps away, going back to clean up and put his equipment away. Jax is standing there with a stupid grin on his face. He reaches up framing my face in his hands and gives me a kiss.

¡°Tar, I love it. I love you. You're officially my ol' lady. You're stuck with me and with SAMCRO. Hope you can handle it."

With that, he thanks Happy and pulls me across the hall, into his dorm room.

I kick the door closed with my foot as Jax pushes me up against the wall, his lips attacking mine and his hands gripping my hips.

¡°God Tar, having my mark on you makes me so fucking hot for you."

I laugh as I fist my hand in his hair, pulling his mouth back to mine. With the other hand I've undone the button on Jax's jeans and I'm pushing them down. I feel his weight shift as he's sliding off his shoes and finishing the job of removing his pants. I feel cold air touch my skin as my pants join Jax's on the floor. My mouth has moved from his lips, down his neck, to the collar of his shirt; it's got to go. I reach for the hem and pull it up over his head while Jax looks at me with a grin. I continue kissing my way down stopping to flick his nipple a time or two.

With that he growls,

¡° Trying to shorten things up babe? You know what that does to me."

I chuckle and continue the delicious torture. He lifts my lips back to his with one hand while the other hand slides beneath my shirt undoing my bra with a flick of his fingers. Lifting my arms, he pulls my shirt and bra off and throws them to the floor. Picking me up and wrapping my legs around him, he carries me to the bed and lays me down.

I immediately sit up, pushing him up with me. My back hurts too bad to be on the bottom. I push Jax over, rolling on top of him, my hands reaching down between my legs to peel off his boxers, throwing them to the floor also. The only piece of clothing left between the two of us is the red thong I've got on and that's one piece of clothing too many. Before I can reach to remove them Jax grabs them and pulls tearing out the seam holding them together and he slides the material down my leg. His fingers slide into my center, finding it wet and ready. I groan and arch my back. Taking his cock in my hands, I begin stroking and I hear him hiss.

¡°Not that way Tar, I want to be inside of you."

Straddling him wider, I guide his shaft into me with a sigh and begin riding him up and down. Jax stares into my eyes as his hands are brushing up and down on my nipples, sending chills through my body. My hands move to his nipples, pinching and tweaking, all the while a savage look on my face. He's right where I want him. I speed up, noting he's gone stiff, trying not to cum. I keep up the fast pace moving my hips side to side and around, and finally he begins moving faster and faster with me. I can feel my bulb start to spasm and my muscles clench. Jax gives one more push and he releases, with me finding mine right along with him. I bend forward, placing my head on his chest listening to his heart beating and his breathing coming in ragged breaths. His hands run through my hair and slowly travel down to my back to where the bandage Happy put on is still in place. I lean forward with my hips letting his cock slide out and lie down completely on top of him.

¡°Tar, I want to take the bandage off the crow. I want to see it."

I kiss the crook of his neck and tell him ok. I roll off him and lie on my stomach on the bed. He peels the bandage off and is silent for a minute. Then I feel him run his fingers to each side of the crow. After a minute, he lays down beside me on the bed with his face turned toward mine.

¡°No matter what happens Tara, I will always take care of you."

With that he pulls up the blankets around us, pulls me in close and within minutes his breathing has evened out and he's asleep.

I lay there awake, wondering what he meant by that but before I can wonder too much my eyes are drifting shut into the land of dreams.


	32. Chapter 32

_**A/N~ I switched it up a bit with Jax's point of view. I'm getting a little lost on being Tara so I felt it would be nice to be Jax for a while. I might stick with him for a few chapters..what do you all think? Let me know! **_

_**Thanks Anne! And thanks everyone for the reviews! Keep em coming! **_

_**As usual..No copyright intended! I love KS and Sons of Anarchy! **_

Jax POV

My eyes slowly come open in the dark. Tara's asleep next to me, her breathing light. I fold back the covers and slowly climb out of bed. I need a cigarette. Glancing at the clock on the table next to me, it reads 12:00 AM. I haven't been asleep but maybe an hour or two. Scrambling around in the dark, I find my boxers, jeans and SAMCRO shirt all on a path from the door. What the hell was that? Why did Tara branding herself with my crow turn me on so much? Putting on my shoes, I quietly open the door, grab my cut and walk out of the room, leaving Tara sleeping and oblivious to what was running through my head. I need some air, so I head through the club house, where some of the guys are still hanging around playing pool, hooking up with some crow eater or another, or just hanging out. One of the guys is Opie. He spots me and follows me outside. I walk over to the picnic table that's just outside of the clubhouse door and light a cigarette. Opie sits down beside me, lighting up a joint.

¡°What's eatin you, brother? You go to bed with your Ol' lady and two hours later you're out here smoking. I know something's going on, otherwise you'd still be in bed, waking up Tara and taking more of that sweet pussy."

Opie hands me the joint and I take a hit, holding it in for as long as I can before blowing it out. I sit there for a minute before responding because I'm not sure exactly what to say.

¡°Op, you've known me my whole life so you know that what I just did tonight with Tara, having the crow put on her isn't me. When did I go from Jax the player to Jax the settling down type?"

Opie laughs and takes a hit from the joint.

¡°You love her. It is what it is. Life does that sometimes, Jax. Take me and Donna. I love that girl. I want to marry her and before you say anything, yes it scares the hell out of me. I'm 18 and young but fuck when you meet someone and all you can think about is them, you know it's real."

Opie passes the joint to me and I take another hit, letting the smoke do its job before exhaling.

¡° I do love Tara, that's what's scary. I don't want to hurt her, ever. And fuck, the sex is awesome but I've never just been with one person. Not that anyone else appeals to me because all I want is her. I just, I don't know. Fuck."

I toss my cigarette butt down on the cement and open my pack for another, pulling it out and putting it between my lips. I flick my lighter and the tip turns cherry red.

¡°Op, do you think I was stupid putting the crow on her? I mean shit, that's permanent, man. I may as well have put a ring on her finger and walked down the damn aisle with that shit."

Opie slaps my back with his big hand while he's taking a hit off the joint with the other.

¡°You're good, brother. If she feels the same way you do and I'm pretty sure she does; she's not going anywhere. Some people just meet the one young. You did."

I thank Op and stand up to head back inside, just as Juice, Chibs and a few other guys come running out of the clubhouse.

¡°Jax, Opie, we just got a call from Laroy. Someone fire bombed their bar. We've gotta head out there. You guys coming?"

Opie and I take off with the others, headed for our bikes. Shit, Tara won't know where I've gone. Hopefully I can make it back before she wakes up and if not, well someone should be around to tell her what's going on. Without another backward thought, I pull on my helmet, and start my bike letting the lope of the Harley's engine drown out the thoughts in my head. Club business is important. There is no room for any other thoughts right now than what's going down with Laroy. That's how people get killed. I've gotta be on my game. Pulling in the clutch and pressing down on the gear shift, I hear the click of my bike going into gear. Letting out on the clutch, I follow behind the guys who have become my family with no other thought than getting to Laroy's and seeing what retaliation will have to be dealt with. Riding through the darkened streets, with no other sound than the wind rushing in my ears and the rumble of my brothers' motorcycles is just what I needed tonight. Perspective. I'm still me and I can still be SAMCRO, even though back at the club house in bed lays a beautiful girl, who loves me and probably deserves better than I am.

Merging in with us, I see Clay and Tig. Both nod to me as they go by, taking their places at the front of the pack. The half hour ride goes by in a blur of wind and lights and before we know it, I'm pulling up to the curb at the Niners' headquarters, or better yet what was the Niners' headquarters. Turning to look at Op as I take off my helmet, I hear myself say Holy Shit. Opie raises his eyebrow and nods his head. There is nothing left of the building, just smoking ash. Firemen and police are clearing out and pretty soon all that's left are members of the Sons and Niners. Clay and Tig walk over to where Laroy and some of his members are, while the rest of us stay alert on our bikes. They turn and walk around to what used to be the back of the building. I see them looking down on the ground and then get angry looks on their faces. Something's up. Clay and Tig shake Laroy's hand and head back over to where we're parked. Clay walks over and stands in front of us.

¡°There are cowboy boot prints all over the ground back there. Who do we know that wears cowboy boots? Mayans. Them wetback bastards."

With that, he goes back to his bike, puts on his helmet as do the rest of us and signals us to head out. By now, it's almost 3 in the morning. Doesn't look like there will be much sleep to be had tonight, considering with the events of tonight, church will be held bright and early at 8am to discuss retaliation actions. I signal to Opie miming eating to see if he wants to stop in at the all night diner for some grub and he grins and nods. That's one good thing about Opie, the boy can always eat! When we get to Charming city limits, the boys each start to head different ways to their individual homes and some to the club house. Op and I pull into the diner and Juice follows. He takes his helmet off and shrugs.

¡°May as well fucking eat. Sleeping is pretty much outta the question."

I laugh as does Opie. Juice is a good guy. Not real sure how he ended up in Charming but he makes a good brother so who cares about the details. Walking into the diner, we take our usual seat and order up just about everything on the menu. I look at the two guys at the table with me and I kind of smile watching them joke around. Life could be worse, a whole helluva lot worse. Our food comes and I dig in with all of the gusto of a happy, starved kid. I'm gonna be ok. Ya, I'm gonna be ok.


	33. Chapter 33

_**A/N...So I decided to shake it up this chapter. At some point Jax and Tara have to get into fights and disagreements, if not Tara would have stayed but she didn't. I'm not saying this chapter is a deciding factor in her leaving just starting to put in minor cracks in the armor here and there. I think i'm going to stay with Jax's POV for a little bit. What do ya'll think? Hope you guys are still liking this. If not..lemme know what you don't dig! I can take critisism! Thanks Anne for your beta work! Appreciate it every week! **_

_**As usual..no copyright intended..Just love Jax, Opie, Juice, Tiggy and SOA and Kurt Sutters brilliant mind! **_

_**Review...review...review! **_

As I got on my bike heading back towards TM, the rain started falling. Just fucking fantastic! It doesn't rain a lot in Charming but when it does it comes down in fucking buckets. Juice and Op are riding beside me now and we're taking up the whole road because being behind someone in the rain sucks ass. Dawn's just breaking over the horizon, well, what you can see of it anyway, through this shit. It's 5 am and I bet Tara's still all snuggled warm and dry in bed where I left her, before this shit storm with the Niners hit last night. I think today is going to be a fuck the world day. I'm going to sit my ass through church because I have to and then I'm going to bed.

Finally TM is in view. Soaking wet, I park my bike and walk into the clubhouse. I trudge with squeaky Nikes toward the dorms, leaving a trail of water behind me. I unlock my door and walk inside. Tara's right where I left her, asleep and snoring. Sometimes I think of what life would be like without SAMCRO. I chuckle, life without SAMCRO, yeah right. Leaving a trail of wet clothes behind me, I step into the steaming hot shower to warm up. Midway through, I feel a cool breeze and see Tara standing on the other side of the glass.

¡°What are you doing, Jax? How did all your clothes get wet?"

Grabbing the towel and wrapping it around my waist, I step out and answer the question.

¡°We had a club emergency. I've been gone since about midnight and Juice, Op and I got caught in the rain on the way back."

She nods her head in understanding but I can tell she doesn't really like the answer all that much. I'm too tired to really get into it though. I walk out rummaging through drawers for a clean pair of boxers and dry clothes.

¡°Aren't you going to bed, Jax? It's almost 6am. You need to sleep!"

I explain to Tara that we've got church in 2 hours and then, after that, I will sleep. She nods and starts gathering up her things.

¡°What are you doing, babe?"

She tells me she may as well go home since I've got club business. I can't even begin to understand why she's pissed at me; it's just the vibe I'm getting. She leans in and crushes a kiss to my cheek before turning her back and walking out the door. Running my hand through my hair, I mutter a Jesus Christ, quickly pull on my boxers, jeans and a shirt and walk out behind her. I'm walking around the damn club house in bare feet but I don't have any other damn shoes.

¡°How are you getting home?"

Ah, that gets her. She'd forgotten she rode here with me.

¡°You can have one of the prospects take me home, Jax. That's what they are for, isn't it?"

Seriously, where is her attitude coming from?

¡°Ya, I'll get Moose to do it. Sure you don't want me to take ya?"

She shakes her head no.

¡°You've got stuff to do, Jax. Don't let me stand in your way."

With that, she walks out the door. I'm not even going to deal with this shit right now. I've had no sleep in over 24 hours and I'm sure I wouldn't be able to have a fair discussion when I'm on edge. Moose is standing behind the bar nursing a beer.

¡°Take Tara home for me, ya?"

He nods walking out the door my ol' lady walked through a minute before. Walking behind the bar, I open the little fridge, grabbing a beer. Twisting the top and taking the first drink, I hear someone walk up. Op and Juice, all dried off.

¡°Hey Jax man, wanna shoot us down two of those beers? May as well have a few while we're waiting for church."

I slide a beer down to Op and Juice and we're sitting there, bullshitting, when Clay walks in.

¡°Beer for breakfast, aye boys?"

We all laugh and offer the prez one. He shakes his head no.

¡°I'm too old for that shit at 7am. We're gonna have church and then I'm going home to my wife and to grab a couple hours of shut eye."

He nods to us and walks into the chapel closing the door behind him.

¡°10 bucks says the prez is gonna catch a couple minutes of sleep right now." I say to the guys. That gets them laughing and digging in their pockets. When they both come out with 10 dollars they tell me the bet's on. The three of us sit there and drink our beers and watch some stupid program on television until about 7:30 when some of the others start stumbling in. I tell them to be quiet for a minute as I sneak up to the window looking into the chapel. Tig follows behind me

¡°What are you doing, brother?"

I explain to him the bet Juice, Op and I have going on and he starts laughing.

¡°No way the prez's gonna fall asleep at the gavel."

I just laugh because from where I'm standing, Clay is leaned back in his chair, asleep.

I hear Tig say son of a bitch and then Opie and Juice groan. They've lost their $10. They hand over their money or rather I snatch it out of their hands and open up the doors to the chapel. Clay wakes with a start.

¡°You sleepin' old man?" I ask Clay.

He smirks and says no that his eyes were burning and that he just had them shut for a minute. All the guys go uh huh and ya right and we sit down.

¡°Since we're all here can we get this meeting started early? I know we're all tired from last night's ride over to the Niners."

Clay nods, looks around to make sure his club's all there and bangs the gavel. I sit there and listen to him talk about the Mayans and how Laroy wants to get them back. Clay's not quite on board with making the Mayans our complete enemy. Laroy wants to go to the Mayan's clubhouse and burn it down with the help of the Sons, specifically Opie, because he's good with boom. After a bit more debating about wether we should or shouldn't, Clay puts it up for a vote. The vote is denied, Laroy and the Niners are on their own. Clay tells us all we gotta be back for work at noon so we'd better head home and catch a few hours sleep. We all nod and say yes and the gavel is pounded and the meeting breaks up.

I stumble sleepily down the hall to my room, I really should go home to Mom and Clay's but fuck I'm not going back out in the rain. I pull off my shirt and fall into bed. Damn, it smells like Tara. My last thought is that I've gotta figure out why she's so pissed off at me and then I'm dead to the world.


	34. Chapter 34

A/N We're still in Jax POV. Hope you enjoy! I'm going to work on it a bit this weekend see if I can't get back to having some kick ass chapters. Much love and thanks to everyone who reviewed! Keep it up.. Oh..and check out my new story..it's a Juicy one :P

No Copyright intended!

I wake up to pounding on the door.

¡°Jackie boy get yer ass up lad. Time ta get ta work."

Fuck! It's ten to noon already. Rubbing my hands over my face, I realize I'm still fucking exhausted! No time to dwell on that though. I've got ten minutes to get my ass outta bed and to the garage for work. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I've gotta call Tara. Stumbling out of bed like a drunken sailor, I head into the bathroom to take a piss. When I'm finished, I find Tara's number in my phone and press send. She answers after three rings.

¡°Hello."

¡°Hey babe, what ya up to?"

¡°Oh ya know, the usual plus trying to hide this crow from my dad."

The last part was said in a whisper.

¡°Listen doll, I've gotta get to work, we ok? Last night, then shit this morning you seemed pissed at me."

¡°Ya Jax, I was just irritated you didn't wake me up and tell me you were leaving. What if something happened to you? I'd have no idea where you were. I don't like being clueless and I don't like being left out. All I ask is you give me a heads up if you've gotta leave in the middle of the night. Deal?"

I told her we had a deal and that I had to let her go. She asked if I was gonna call her later and I told her ya and then hung up. Realizing that my way early breakfast hadn't lasted to noon time, my stomach growled. Fucking great. No time for food. Walking out to my bay and my tool box, Moose pulls a motorcycle in for me to work on. Hell yea! At least it's not some stupid fucking cage! Five hours to go until work day is done. If I play it right, this motorcycle job can take me that whole time!

The afternoon passes by slowly. I can tell everyone is still dragging from last night's lack of sleep. The shop that's normally full of joking and laughter amongst us guys, is for the most part pretty quiet. Looking at the clock, I see it's ten to five. I start putting up my tools and walk down to where Opie is rolled underneath some Honda Accord. I kick his feet to let him know it's 5 o'clock. No reaction. Getting on my hands and knees I see Op sprawled out, wrench in hand, asleep! Punching Op in the gut to wake him up, I hear,

¡°What the fuck!"

Opies looks up at me with confused eyes. All I can do is laugh.

¡°You fell asleep, Op. You even get any work done today?"

Opie starts laughing and looking at the undercarriage of the car.

¡°Nope. Doesn't look like a goddamn thing."

Scooting himself out, Opie wipes his face off with a rag he pulled from his pocket, before sitting up and looking around.

¡°Think anyone noticed?"

I glance around.

¡°Nah, shit, I think Tiggy's asleep too!"

Opie glances over and agrees but neither one of us wants to go over there and wake him up. I hear Opie swear and then glance down at his phone.

¡°Donna's called me, like 6 times. I'm so fucked! She's gonna be so pissed, brother!"

I laugh.

¡°Better get a move on, Op. Go on home."

Opie shakes his head and tells me he's not going unless I come with him. I shake my head at him but he won't take no for an answer.

¡°Come on brother, I'll even see if Donna will fix you dinner. Invite Tara over. We'll grill out, hang a bit. I'm sure Donna will be ok with it."

Shit, how can I say no to that. I'm starved, not to mention it will help smooth things over with Tara! I tell Opie it's a go and next thing I know he's on his phone talking to Donna. I can hear her yelling all the way over here. She is not a happy camper. Opie's trying to get a word in edgewise but it's sounding more like a stuttering to me.

¡°Donna, baby. I'm sorry I didn't come home last night. Club business and then Jax, Juice and I stopped at Floyd's for breakfast and then we had church. Clay only gave us 4 hours to get back here to work at noon. I crashed in my dorm room. What? No! I'd never cheat on you with a croweater. Jax? Ya, Jax was here. You what? You want to talk to him?"

Opie looks over at me and shrugs his shoulders. He hands the phone off to me.

¡°Hello darlin."

¡°Don't you darlin me, Jax Teller. Was Opie with you all night?"

I start to tell her not all night but I think better of it.

¡°Ya he was. We had club shit to do. Cut the guy a break will ya? He's been up all night with no sleep and then had to work for 5 hours."

Donna sighs and tells me to hand the phone back to Opie. Opie mouths a thank you to me before walking away a little bit. I stand where I'm at lighting a cigarette. Before too long, Op comes sauntering back over.

¡°Dinner's a go, man. Once you confirmed I wasn't dick deep in some croweater pussy, she stopped bitching."

I couldn't help but laugh. I'm glad Tara doesn't flip like that, well at least hasn't flipped like that yet. I tell Op to give me a minute and put a call through to Tara. She answers on the first ring, out of breath.

¡°What are you doing?"

I just got back to my house. I took a jog. We can't all be lazy today."

I give her a sarcastic Ha Ha and then delve into the reason for my call. It doesn't take Tara long to agree to come to dinner at her best friend's house. I ask her if she wants me to pick her up or if she wants to drive over and she says she needs to shower first so she'll just meet me there. I tell her not a problem and we say our goodbyes and hang up. Opie's over sitting on his bike waiting for me.

¡°Everything good, brother? Dinner on?"

I tell him it's a go. He smiles as he straps on his helmet.

¡°Good deal. Let's go. I'm starved and I think if I'm gone much longer Donna's going to have a heart attack or somethin."

Strapping on my helmet, I follow Opie out of the TM lot. Thank god this ride is in the sunshine. That shit from this morning just plain out sucked. Not long after we leave TM, we pull up at Opie's house. Windows open, curtains fluttering in the breeze. Must be nice to come home to a place all your own and a women cooking dinner. Unlatching my helmet, I place it on my handlebars and walk up to the front door following Opie in. Donna stops stirring the pot on the stove.

¡°About damn time you got home."

I'm thinking she's gonna start bitching again but instead of being mad, she shoots Opie a huge smile.

¡°Thanks for clearing that shit up Jax. Sometimes my mind runs away with itself thinking the worst. Granted, Opie here should have called and filled me in on where he was but I get it, club stuff."

With that she shrugs and turns back around to the stove. Just then I hear the back door open and Tara walks in...with a black eye!


	35. Chapter 35

_**A/N **__sorry I haven't updated in a LONG time. With it being summer i'm not on the computer as much as I used to be. I'm thinking it's time to start winding this story down. I know you all don't want me to but i'm out of ways to make the spark between the two of them stay. We all know she leaves, and from my interpretation it's not on good terms. I'm going to keep writing Juiced though and may even start a new Jax story about what life was like without her. We'll see. There are still a few more chapters left to tell of this story too. Hope you all enjoy! ~AliKatt~ _

_Thanks to Anne for being my Beta! I really really really appreciate it! NO copyright intended. I just love Kurts creation and JAX! _

¡°What the fuck, Tara!"

I say, as I'm practically tripping over my feet to get to her.

Grabbing her chin in my hand, I turn her face first one way and then the other, looking at her eye.

¡°Who the fuck did this to you? I'm going to kill them. Just watch!"

Tara starts crying when Donna walks over and hugs her.

Donna shoots me a look that tells me to settle down. I run my hands through my hair and tell Opie I need a cigarette. Walking out into their back yard, I sit on the step, lighting one up. Opie stands to my left.

¡°Just calm down, Jax. We don't know what happened yet. Maybe Tara fell or something."

I tell Opie he must be delusional.

¡°Fell? Tara doesn't fall. How do you get a black eye from a fall anyway without any scrapes or other bruises?"

Opie takes a hit from his cigarette, blowing the smoke out in a perfect ring.

¡°I guess you're right, brother. Someone's going to pay for this."

I take another hit off my smoke. I can't sit out here any longer. Grounding the butt underneath my sneaker, I stand up and head back inside. Donna and Tara are sitting at the kitchen table with beers in front of them. Before I can say anything, Tara puts a hand up.

¡°Stop, Jax. You can't do anything about what happened."

I shake my head

¡°Yes I can. Whoever did this will fucking pay. No one and I mean no one lays a hand on my ol' lady and gets away with it!"

She shakes her head again.

¡°No Jax, it was my dad, ok. He didn't mean to hit me. He was drunk. I bent over to put on my shoes and my shirt rode up in the back and he saw the crow. He'd have never hit me if he was sober. I know it. All this with my mom being gone has really messed him up."

I stand up, pushing the chair behind me out and over. I pound the table with my fist and head for the door. I barely process Tara screaming at me in the background and I barely pay attention to the fact Opie is right behind me. All I'm seeing is red and I'm hearing the rush of anger in my head. I'm going to go teach that mother fucker a lesson. I don't care if it's Tara's dad or not! Throwing my helmet onto the grass, I start my bike and head out with a roar of the pipes. I feel Opie ride up beside me. He doesn't say anything just nods, almost giving me the go ahead for where I'm headed and letting me know he's got my back. Brothers, no matter what.

I pull up to the curb and notice Tara's dad's car is gone. Surprise, surprise, I bet he's at the bar. I turn around and head back towards town. Sure as shit, that motherfucker's car is parked in front of the door. I park my bike and throw the door open. Sitting at the bar is Tara's dad. I reach him and before he can even turn to look at me, I've pulled him off the stool. This stupid motherfucker is laying there on the ground crying. By this point I'm so mad, I'm shaking. I grab him by the collar and haul him outside to the curb. He's not even struggling with me. Right then, Tara and Donna pull up to the curb and I hear the wail of a police siren in the distance. Great the fucking bar called Unser. Just what I fucking need! I punch this beater in the face and he's so drunk he just falls over. No fun in this fight, I stand over him spitting on him.

¡°That's for Tara. Next time you won't see what gets you."

Tara's standing on the curb looking at me like she doesn't know me.

¡°Come on, babe. Let's get moving before Unser hauls me into jail."

She shakes her head no.

¡°I'm not going anywhere with you Jackson Teller. I told you to leave it be and now look. My dad's bleeding on the side walk in front of this bar. Just get out of here, Jax. You've done enough."

I sneer at her and head for my bike. Fuck her. If she wants to be a bitch after I stuck up for her, then so be it. Starting up my bike, I roar out of there, Opie right behind me. I don't get too far when I hear the sirens behind me. I look over at Op and he shrugs his shoulders.

¡°Fuck."

I pull over and Unser gets out of his car.

¡°What are you doing, Jax? I can't do shit for you if you fuck up in front of all those people!"

I nod in understanding. Unser tells Opie to get out of there and to send someone back for my bike as he puts me in handcuffs in the back of his cruiser.

¡°I've gotta take you in, son. I'm sorry."

There's nothing I can say to that, so I sit silently in the back of the car on the way to the station. Ma's gonna be pissed. She never really did decide if she liked Tara yet. Fuck, Tara. How am I going to patch things up with her? I just did what any good boyfriend would do, didn't I? Now that my rage is settling, I realize I probably could have handled things a little differently than I did. Shrugging my shoulders there's not much I can do. We pull into the station and Unser opens the door pulling me out of the car.

¡°Come on, Jax, let's get you inside. You've never been in jail before, I wondered how long it would take you."

I just laughed. Sons end up in jail. It's part of the deal when you patch in. There's no way around it. We do illegal shit and we have bad tempers so we expect jail time. I'm looking forward to when Ma gets up here. She's going to rip Unser a new asshole for putting me in jail for defending my girlfriend against her father.

Unser undoes my hand cuffs so he can finger print me. The process takes little more than a minute and I'm taken in the back to a cell. After I'm put inside, Unser asks who I want called. I shrug.

¡°It don't matter, my ma or Clay. Either way, one of 'em will have me outta here soon."

I'm really not worried about this whole jail thing. What's got me worried is Tara's attitude towards me when I was taken away. I thought she'd be happy I defended her and instead she was hurt and angry. I just need to get out of this cell so I can go talk to her! I hear a bang and the security doors open at the end of the hallway. I'm guessing whoever is coming is for me since I'm the only one sitting on this side of the gate. I put my hands on the bars and try and peer out. I hear click click of heels and immediately I know it's Gemma. She walks up first with Unser right behind her.

¡°You're free to go, baby. Tara's dad isn't pressing charges."

The latter part said with a smirk. Clay and the boys must have gotten to him to make sure I didn't go down for defending Tara. I grab my cut up off the bench and slip it on. I shoot Unser a smile as I head out. Unser shakes his head

¡°That boy's got an attitude a mile long. Not the last I'm gonna be seeing of him."

I laugh. I don't think I was supposed to hear his muttering but I did. Following my mom, I walk out of the station. Moose is there waiting with my bike.

¡°Thanks man!"

I kiss Ma on the cheek.

¡°Love you, Ma."

She pats me on the cheek a little harder than usual.

¡°Don't make this a habit, baby. Next time I'm not going to be so easy on you and I might actually make Wayne keep you in there."

I chuckle and she tells me to get going but warns me that where ever I go it had better not be to Tara's house. I agree. I'm gonna head to the club house and talk with Op. See what the hell happened after I was taken away. With that I hop on my bike, start it up and click it into gear.

It only takes me a few minutes to get to TM. I park and go in hoping to find Opie. When he's not around, I head back out. I look around. Op's bike isn't here must mean he's at home. I crank up my bike and just as I'm doing that Opie turns into the lot.

¡°There you are, man. I went by the station. Unser said you'd already been released."

¡°Ya man. Tara's dad didn't press charges. My ma got me out of there."

Opie nods. I can see there is something he wants to tell me.

¡°Op just spit it out. What's up? Why are you driving all over God's green earth looking for me?"

Opie runs his hands through his hair.

¡°I don't know if I should tell you this or not brother. It's about Tara."

Now my heart's hammering. What could Opie know about Tara that he doesn't want to tell me? This doesn't sit well.

¡°Just spit it out, Op. What do you know?"

He thinks for a moment before speaking.

¡°I just heard Tara tell Donna that she got accepted to a college."

I look at Op.

¡°No shit. She put an app into Lodi Community. I knew that."

Opie starts shaking his head.

¡°No, brother. Not Lodi Community. Ah shit, Jax, she's leaving."

I can't believe what I just heard come out of Opie's mouth.

¡°Leaving. She can't be leaving. It's only been a couple of hours. How could she make the decision to leave this fast?"

Opie shakes his head.

¡°Not sure but I think I heard her tell Donna she applied just to see if she'd get in. She wasn't going to leave with you here but..Jax, I saw the look on her face. She's serious. I wasn't supposed to hear. I was standing out on the porch smoking a cigarette and the window was open. I'm sorry, man. I don't know what to say."

What was there to say? I nod and tell him thanks. Climbing off my bike, I put its stand down and head over to the ladder that leads up to the roof. I need some time to think. Tara's leaving. There's got to be some way I can keep her here. She can't go from one day getting a crow and being my ol' lady to being so pissed off at me that she's going away, can she? I mean the ink's barely dry. Sitting on the ledge, with my head in my hands, I let my mind wander. I hear Opie start up his bike and drive away, probably headed back to his place where my ex ol' lady is. Man I really fucked this one up, didn't I? Not really sure what to do, I climb back down to my bike. I've got to go see her. My ma told me not to go to Tara's but she never told me not to go to Opie's!

I fly through the quiet streets. It's well past midnight. I'm sure all these folks just love hearing my pipes roaring down the road so loud at this hour but you know what - I don't give a fuck. I've got to make things right. I don't care if I've got to beg and plead on my knees. I'd do anything for her. That realization hits me like a ton of bricks. She's all I will ever want. If she leaves what will I do?

I pull up to the curb in front of Opie and Donna's house. The lights are on and the shades aren't drawn. I see Tara sitting at the table with Donna. She looks out at me. I know she knows I'm here. She could hear my bike. She doesn't smile or make a move like she even cares. I sit there for a minute staring into those cold eyes of hers and I decide tonight is not the night. Starting my bike I pull away from the curb slowly, lighting a cigarette. I think it's time to head back to TM and drown myself in a bottle of whatever is handy.


	36. Chapter 36

_**A/N...Well I almost ended the story with this chapter or rather a chapter I had written to be this chapter and my friend Anne talked me out of it. I'm going to keep going for a little bit..but sorry guys it does have to come to an end at some point :( **_

_**Thanks Anne! **_

_**No copyright intended..I just LOVE me some SOA! I own nothing! **_

It takes me all of about an hour and 10 shots of tequila to get the stone cold look I saw on Tara's face out of my head. What am I going to do? Standing up from my spot at the bar, I have to brace myself or fall over. I stumble over to where a few of the guys are playing pool. Bobby starts laughing at me.

¡°Rough day, aye?"

I don't trust my mouth to speak so I nod. Thank God for the pool table holding me up or I'd be on the floor. I stumble over to the couch and fall back onto it, watching the guys continue to play their game. Leaning back, I prop my feet up on the arm. Pulling my knife out from its holster, I run my fingers along its dull top side edge looking at my wavy self in the reflection. I look fucked up, kind of like my life is right now. A few crow eaters walk in and make their way over to the pool table. That's it for that game. Looking around, I see a dark haired crow eater. Hmm, I guess it's time to move on. Sitting up slowly as to keep the spinning in my head to a minimum I push myself up off the couch and stumble over to Suzy.

¡°Hey Darlin, you looking for someone?"

She looks at me with a smile, it's not Tara's smile but what do I care?

¡°Just you Jax, just you."

I grab her hand and pull her back to my room, closing the door and locking it. I move to take off my cut but she asks me to keep it on.

¡°Something about a man in SAMCRO leather that makes him even hotter.."

She unzips my pants, palming my dick. Next thing I know she's on her knees with her mouth around my cock. Licking and sucking, rolling her tongue on its tip. I yank her head away by her hair. This isn't what I want. Pushing her back, she falls onto the bed. I don't even bother taking my pants down. I rip her pants off and shove her underwear down. I ram myself into her over and over. I don't know if her screams are pleasure or pain and I don't much care. When I'm finished, I tell her to get her nasty crow eating ass up out of my bed. She gets dressed, turning as if to ask me a question. I glare at her and she thinks better of it. Wrapping her arms around herself she leaves, closing the door behind her.

If I didn't feel like shit before, I sure do now. Getting up quickly I run to the bathroom, throwing up all the tequila and wishing I could throw up all the guilt I feel. What the hell am I doing? Not even 48 hours ago, I made Tara my damned old lady now I'm fucking some crow eater. How did it all go south? I rinse my mouth out and stumble back to the bed. My last thought before passing out is about how I'm going to get Tara to stay.

¡ ...

Groaning, I wake up and roll over. What the fuck happened last night? Thinking back, I remember laying on the couch watching the boys play pool and after that it's one hell of a blank slate. Sitting up, my head pounds. Great, a fucking hang over. Takes me a minute to realize why I have this hang over. Tara's dad, jail, ex ol' lady. Slowly I make my way over to the bathroom. While I'm taking a piss, I look into the trash. A condom sits there. Oh no. I didn't. Oh shit I must have! Groaning again, I flush the toilet and walk over to the sink. I look in the mirror and barely recognize the person I see. I brush my teeth. At least that takes the horrible taste out of my mouth. Thank God I have a shower in my

bathroom. Stripping down, I step into the hot spray, scrubbing and trying to wash away all the bad from yesterday. I stand there until the water turns cold. Wrapping the towel around my waist, I walk over to grab new clothes for the day out of my dresser. Opening the drawer, the first thing I see is one of Tara's shirts. I ball it up and throw it across the room. God damn it! Seeing that shirt just makes me realize even more how much I fucked up! Getting dressed, I strap on my gun and my knife and put on my cut. I feel like shit. I know I need to go see Tara but it's probably best if I don't. I don't really know what to say to her right now. I'm angry and me angry isn't a good thing. I'm really hoping all the guys are still passed out from the night before. I don't want to hear anything about me and that stupid fucking crow eater. Agh I grab my cologne bottle and throw it across the room. It bursts into about a thousand fucking pieces. Jesus Christ, I'm losing it here! Someone knocks on the door.

¡°Jax baby, you ok in there?"

I walk over clicking the lock off.

¡°Ya Ma, I'm just pissed is all. I fucked up things with Tara and now Opie says he overheard Tara telling Donna she's leaving to go to college."

I see Gemma smirk.

¡°Didn't think that little bitch would stick."

Gemma looks around sniffing the air.

¡°Huh, you should throw cologne more often. Smells better than the pussy and dirty socks that's the norm for around here."

I laugh.

¡°Thanks Ma. Hey you wanna go grab some breakfast?"

She shakes her head.

¡°Nah I should cook something up for the guys. Just stick around here I'll make ya something baby."

I lean in and kiss her on the cheek.

¡°Thanks Ma. You're the best."

She smiles.

¡°Don't you ever forget that shit either!"

Leave it to Ma to always be able to cheer me up. I'm not feeling as murderous as I was a few minutes ago. I figure that maybe I'll catch some breakfast and work for a little while. Maybe lunch time, I'll head out and see if Tara will talk to me. I walk out my door closing it and locking it behind me. Don't want those fuckers messing with my shit. When I get out to the main room it's still pretty quiet, no one's around except Opie.

¡°I figured you'd be up any time now. I see you've got Mom cooking breakfast. Better than the shit I was going to get down at the gas station."

I nod. I don't know what to say to Op really. I know Tara probably stayed the night at his place but I don't want to ask. Almost as if reading my mind Opie starts to talk again.

¡°So...Tara slept on my couch last night. I think she thought everyone went to bed but I hadn't fallen asleep yet. I heard her crying. She might be mad at you and all but I'm pretty sure she still loves you."

Fuck! That piece of news doesn't make me feel any better. Here my girl was crying on my best friend's couch while I'm at the clubhouse fucking a crow eater.

¡°Man Op, I fucked up last night."

Opie looks at me shaking his head.

¡°Don't tell me you did a crow eater. Brother, you really are sabotoging your life, aren't you?"

I put my hands in my pockets and let my head hang.

¡°Ya I really stepped in the shit this time. Don't tell Donna please! Tara can't know. Shit Op I was so drunk I didn't even know until I spotted the rubber in the damn garbage this morning. I was puking my fucking guts up man, that's how wasted I was!"

Opie laughs.

¡°You, puking? Just how much did you drink?"

I chuckle and tell him I drank about a half bottle of tequila.

¡°Oh shit, not my old man's tequila!"

I nod.

¡°Pop's gonna fucking skin you alive for that, Brother. You know how he is about his tequila. No one and I mean no one touches it!"

As if on cue, Piney walks in taking note of the empty tequila bottle on the bar. He walks over and holds it out in front of him almost as if he's not believing what he sees.

¡°Who the fuck is brave enough to drink all my tequila?"

Op and I look at him and shrug our shoulders.

¡°I think Juice drank it. Ya, it was Juice. I saw him with the bottle last night."

Piney growls and stalks off, probably to look for Juice. Op and I bust out laughing. Juice isn't going to know what's hit him! Feeling better about the day, I hear Gemma bring out breakfast. She's got eggs and bacon and toast already on a plate for me. Ther's nothing like being mamma's boy.

I give her a huge grin and dig in. Opie throws his hands up..

¡°Hey Mom, where's mine?"

Gemma smiles.

¡°Get your own Op, last I checked my crow eating days were over!"

Op stutters and stammers but is laughing the whole time.

¡°Thanks for cooking, Gem. I really do appreciate it."

She nods and heads out the door, I'm guessing to the TM office. Today's looking up, now if I can just figure out how to keep my girl everything would be back to normal.


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N Sorry it's taken so long for another chapter. Summer keeps me pretty busy not to mention i'm an out doors kinda girl. Riding the Harley also keeps me busy when it's nice weather. I hope you all still want to read and still enjoy Jax and Tara's journey. I was going to end this story but I think I will keep going for a little bit longer. I will try to update quicker than I have this time. So So sorry! **

**Thanks Anne! Love ya! Also...no copyright intended..I just LOVE me some SOA and KS! **

After breakfast, I decided I still wasn't ready to face Tara. I don't know if I can handle seeing that look on her face again. Instead, I throw myself into work. Most of the guys are just starting to stagger in after last night's escapades and I'm already half way through a carburetor rebuild. A few minutes later, Clay comes in asking if anyone has seen Gemma.

"What do you mean? She was headed to the office last I saw her."

Then it was like a light went off. My mom wasn't headed out to go to work after breakfast; she was sneaking out to accost Tara about leaving and breaking my heart. Fuck! I didn't really stop to think about what I was doing. I dropped my tools and ran to my bike. Clay's hollering after me, asking where the fuck did I think I was going when I'm supposed to be working. I wasn't listening. I'm on my bike and roaring out of TM, before anyone can even come close to stopping me. I roar through a still mostly sleepy town. Little towns are like that. There's a morning rush of people leaving Charming for jobs in the big city and then there's the people that stay local and then all the housewives and kids that spend their summer lazing around. Normally I'd feel bad about waking them up with my loud pipes but not today. I can only imagine what Gemma's saying to Tara and most of my thoughts aren't good.

Gemma's just getting into her Denali as I pull up to the curb.

"What the fuck do you think your doing Ma?" I yell as I storm up to her window.

She smirks at me, seriously smirks. What the fuck!

"I'm doing what I should have done a long time ago. That little bitch has had you wound around her finger all summer and for what? To just up and leave when things get tough. Jackson, ol' ladies don't do that. Ol ladies stick when things get crazy. That's the way it is. Let her go. I told her to leave and never come back. It's for the best."

I don't even take the time to justify her with an answer. I turn my back on her and sprint to the house. I don't bother knocking, I barge right in. Tara's sitting on the couch with a stunned look.

"So that's it Tar, you were just going to leave and not say anything to me about it?"

Tara shakes her head no and that's when the tears start falling. I go and sit on the edge of the couch next to her.

"Jax, I wasn't sure I was going to actually go. I put my application in a long time ago. It's what my mom wanted and my dad. That was before all of this. I'd forgotten about it until my acceptance letter came in the mail. The more I thought about getting out of here, the more it sounded like a good idea. My dad's not the dad I remember and then when things went south with us last night; I just thought it was for the best if I go."

I really can't believe what I'm hearing. I thought I'd get here and she'd tell me that what Opie heard was her anger talking. But instead I'm hearing she's leaving.

"What about us, babe huh? You get my crow and agree to forever and two days later you up and decide to leave when the going gets tough? Ol' ladies don't do that shit. What the fuck am I supposed to do now, Tara?"

She shrugs and looks at me as tears stream down her cheeks.

"Are you leaving me, or are you leaving Charming?"

She shakes her head.

"I don't know, Jax. I love you. Shit, I love you more than I love myself. Everything about you is perfect and completes me. I'd die for you, you know that, right and that's what is sick. It's wrong. I can't be all about you. I need a part of me for me. You know that girl, the shy one in the school cafeteria that day? I feel like that girl was someone else. I've changed so much since you Jax. I don't know if I can be with you and still be me."

I don't know what to say to that. I just sit there with my elbows resting on my knees and my head in my hands. We sit there in silence for what seems like eternity before I finally speak

"I want you to be you, babe. I fell in love with you. You know how you said you love me more than you love yourself. It's like that for me. You're my world, Tar, I want you in it. Please just try a semester in Lodi. If you don't like it and still feel the need to leave, I'll let you go."

By that time, I had tears running down my cheeks, fucking Jax Teller crying and begging. What's this world come to?

"Can you forgive me for your dad? You have to know I did what I did because of you. I don't like to see you hurt. It makes me see red. I know I shouldn't have gone after him but I couldn't stop myself. I'm really sorry, Tar."

She sits there, in thought for a few moments, going over the things I've asked of her in her head. The silence lasts long enough I'm starting to get nervous. Can it be possible she won't forgive me? What if she doesn't? What will I do?

I lean back onto the couch, resting my head back, closing my eyes. It's then I hear her speak.

"I love you, Jax. I wouldn't have your crow if I didn't. I will give your request a shot. One semester. If I still feel lost, I'm out. You have to remember what you said today, that you'll let me go."

I nod and lean over to her, putting her face in my hands.

"Thanks babe for the second chance. This was a minor setback. You'll see."

I kiss the tip of her nose before sitting up and turning toward the hallway

"OK Op, Donna you can come out now, I know you were listening anyway, assholes!"

They come around the corner laughing. Donna comes and stands in front of Tara and Op slaps me on the back.

"Come on guys, why don't we go to Floyd's and celebrate with a milk shake and an order of fries?"

I look at Op, Donna really has changed him. I mean celebratory milk shakes and fries?

I look at Tara and she nods at me.

"Let's go." I say.

Standing up, I think about how I didn't address what my mom talked to Tara about. Shrugging my shoulders, I walk to my bike. It can wait for a less chaotic day. Make no mistakes though, I will talk to her about it and see just how my mother intended to make her leave Charming.


	38. Chapter 38

A/N **Thanks everyone for sticking with me while I took my sweet ass time posting. It wasn't intentional I just didn't really have any ideas that sounded like they should be put down on paper. Thanks everyone for the reviews! I love you all!**

**Anne...your awesome just always know that! **

**No copyright intended...I just love Jax and SAMCRO. Sutters the genius! **

Sitting at Floyd's, drinking my milk shake, I'm suddenly struck with an idea, one that I think is good.

¡°Hey guys, what if we take a vacation before Tara starts school?"

Opie, Donna and Tara all stare at me as if I've just grown two heads.

¡°What? I think it would be fun to get out of Charming for a while."

Opie laughs.

¡°Have you forgotten that we can't just leave Charming, Jax? Clay would have to be okay with it."

I nod. I knew this wasn't going to be easy to bring about when I blurted it out but I feel like Tara needs a break from Charming and what better way to do that than a vacation. I throw money down on the table and grab Tara's arm.

¡°Come on love, let's go talk to Clay."

She takes one last quick drink of her shake before sliding out of the booth.

¡°You're crazy, Jax you know that?"

I nod, pulling her to me and kissing her.

¡°I am...crazy about you."

She grabs my helmet and we're off to go find Clay.

¡ ...

A few minutes later at TM.

¡°Jax, you know it's not a good time to be out of Charming. I don't feel good about just you and Opie and the girls going. You can go but you've gotta take Juice and Tig with you."

I look over at Tara and she nods.

¡°OK. When can we leave then?"

Clay thinks on it for a minute

¡°Tomorrow or the next day. Lemme check some things with Juice and Tig. Where are you planning on going anyway?"

I smile.

¡°Las Vegas"

Clay looks at me with his eyes kind of squinty like

¡°Las Vegas? Not gonna go get hitched - you got that!"

Opie laughs,

¡°I won't let nothin' too crazy happen to these numskulls, you've got my word on that Clay"

Clay nods and turns around as if to leave.

¡°That's 520 miles from here. Are you sure your ol lady's got what it takes to ride that far on the back of your bike, son?"

Oh shit, I really hadn't thought of that. Tara's rode around here before but never for more than an hour or two. I glance over at her expecting to find a horrified face instead she is smiling and nodding.

¡°I'll be fine Clay; thanks for the worry."

I walk over and sling my arm over her shoulders, kissing her on the top of the head

¡°That's my girl."

Clay nods and walks off. Just before he walks into the clubhouse he yells,

¡°You've got club shit to attend to then before you leave. Take the girls home and get your asses back here pronto!"

After Clay's gone from ear shot, Op and I give a big whoop and the girls are just about jumping up and down. We talk excitedly among ourselves for a few minutes and then I speak up and let them know we should get them home and get back to take care of the club business. Everyone agrees. We're all eager to get ready to go. Donna hops on Op's bike and Tara on mine. It's been decided that Tara's going back to Opie and Donna's to hang out for a while so that's where we head.

I pull into the drive way and Tara hops off. She places a kiss on my lips and saunters off into the house, Donna following on her heels. Op looks over at me,

¡°We're really going to take the girls 520 miles on our bikes to Vegas?"

I laugh

¡°um ya, I hadn't really planned on where I wanted to go. Thought Vegas might be fun. Didn't think about how we were gonna get there though. Then once Clay asked if Tara was tough enough, I had to run with it. Her ass is gonna be sore, brother. I don't think they know just how bad it will be."

Opie chuckles,

¡°Yup, definitely going to need one of those fancy hot tub rooms or the whole trip there won't be any pussy."

I groan,

¡°Fuck, I hadn't thought of that dude. We could take the cage I guess."

Op and I both say "Nah" at the same time.

Laughing we start our bikes and roar back to TM. It's been one hell of a day. Started out pretty shitty and it's ending pretty freaking fantastic.

When we pull into TM, we notice everyone's bikes are there. Hmm kind of strange. I didn't think we had church tonight. I park and so does Op. He looks at me questioningly and I just shrug my shoulders. When we walk into the club house, everyone's hanging around drinking beer and playing pool. As soon as I get to the bar and order a beer, Clay comes out of the chapel.

¡°Well I see everyone's here. Good thing too. Let's meet. Chapel 5 minutes."

I snag my beer and head over to where Tig and Juice are playing pool. Tig walks up fingers weaving in and out of his goatee.

¡°Vegas huh? I'm gonna fuck that city up!"

I laugh and Juice walks over,

¡°Dude Vegas! A few days away from Charming! I'm gonna win me some money and get some sweet ass pussy!"

Ope and I shake our heads. It's gonna be an interesting trip for sure with these two coming along. The five minutes are up and we all make our way into the Chapel. There's an air of curiosity about what's going on as everyone takes their respective seats. Clay bangs the gavel.

¡°You're all probably wondering why I've called Chapel tonight. In case you didn't see the paper today which I'm betting more than a few of you haven't, someone dumped 3 bodies inside Charming. It doesn't look like a Mayan job. It looks more like those shit bag Calavaras. Those mexicano mother fuckers want to make a name for themselves. What better way than shitting on our town!"

There are nods of agreement all around. Clay continues to speak

¡°Jax, Opie, Tig and Juice are taking off to Vegas for a few days. We will table this retaliation until they get back. In the mean time, keep an eye out for any of those mother fuckers around here. You see one, pay attention to what they are doing. Could give us some idea why they are coming out of the woodwork now and also could give us fuel for the retaliation fire."

Again there are nods all around. And a few, will do prez's. With that Clay bangs the gavel bringing church to a close and tells us all to get our sorry asses out of there. I hang back hoping to catch Clay alone. Everyone's finally gone when I ask him if he's sure I should leave right now.

¡°Son, you asking me this is what's going to make you a great VP and President one day. Forsaking vacation with your ol lady for this club. Go Jax. Enjoy some time now because it might be a very long time until you see a vacation again hear me."

Clay slaps my shoulder and walks out. I'm left standing there looking at the seat my father sat in for so many years, the seat that is now Clay's but one day will be mine. I bow my head a little in remembrance of my father. Vowing to always do what's best for the club, shutting the doors behind me, I nod to the few guys left hanging around and head to my bike. It's time to go get some shut eye and get ready to head out to Vegas.

I catch up with Op and we ride to his place together. No better place to be tonight than curled up with Tara, catching some sleep before the long road ahead of us.


	39. Chapter 39

The trip to Vegas was long, even for me. I was so excited to take a vacation with Tara away from Charming that I didn't actually think about how exhausted we'd be by the time we arrived. Tara's ass was numb, shit it was numb about an hour outside of Charming. As if that wasn't bad enough, it started to rain, right around the same time as Tara's ass turned numb and it damn well rained almost the whole way there! When we pulled up to the hotel and under the portico, we were all a little on the grumpy side.

Tig looks at me and growls,

¡°I thought this was going to be a fun fucking trip man. I was gonna get shit faced and have my face deep in pussy. Instead, I'm fucking soaked, cold and tired."

Normally, I'd razz Tig a little bit about being a pussy but tonight I'm just not feeling it. What I want to feel is my body, face down in bed. I figured when we got here we'd all head out and grab some grub and try and make a little money on the slots.

We all park our bikes and head inside to check in. Opie and I each requested our own rooms while Tig and Juice decided to share to cut costs. I really did have to laugh at that one because Juice is going to get a hell of an education rooming with Tig. Tara and Donna were sitting in the lobby chairs while Opie and I got our keys. How the girls could sit I don't know. We've done runs before but usually with the guys we stop and grab a beer or two on the way drawing it out a little. We were so hell bent on reaching Vegas on this trip that we didn't stop but once to take a piss and a second time to grab a quick bite to eat and take a break from the rain beating on us. When Op and I were done at the front desk, we motioned for Tara and Donna to follow us back outside. They literally groaned. I couldn't help but laugh.

¡°What's wrong? You're not ready to get back on the bike just yet?" I said with a chuckle.

Tara shoots me "the look" and Donna flips me the bird. Opie busts up laughing.

¡°Okay Okay, the lady at the front desk told us where to go from inside the building. Would you guys rather walk there while Opie and I pull the bikes around?"

Donna and Tara both enthusiastically agree to walking rather than riding and we give them directions and they head on their way. Opie and I step back outside, take a look at our bikes and groan.

¡°Jax, I love my bike, I really do, but not right now."

With that, Opie climbs back on and starts his bike, headed for the spot near our room. I grudgingly follow behind him. We park and head back inside and up to our rooms. Donna and Tara have already unlocked the doors and are each lying on their beds. The adjoining room door was open and the girls were talking back and forth about what they wanted to do next.

I put my detachable saddle bags on the ground, kick off my shoes and fall onto the bed. I can't help but sigh. The ride may have been shit but I'm in Vegas with my girl. What else could be better? I roll over to talk to Tara and realize she's fast asleep. Slowly sitting up, I roll myself off the bed. I've about had it with these wet clothes and Tara probably shouldn't sleep in hers either. I walk over to the door between Op's room and ours and shut it. Even as close as we all are, no one needs to see Tara undressed. I strip down to my boxers and even those are wet. I'm really hoping the things in my saddle bags aren't. Opening the flap, I curse. Fuck. Everything is soaked! Grabbing all the clothes out of both bags, I go into the bathroom and hang them over the shower rod. Looks like I'll be sleeping in the nude which makes me laugh a little bit. Not going to be a hardship to sleep naked next to my lady. Walking back out, I walk over to our bed and turn down the covers as far as I can without disturbing Tara. When that's done, I untie her boots and slip off those and her soaking wet socks. Somehow I don't think her skin tight jeans are going to be as easy. Leaning myself over her, I trace my finger over her lips and lean down to kiss her. Her breathing quickens and her eyes flutter open.

¡°Oh shit Jax, I fell asleep! Oh my god, I'm so sorry!"

I shake my head and tell her that it's ok. With a grin, I tell her we'll have to sleep naked because all our clothes are wet. She laughs and says I did that on purpose. I throw my hands up with a grin telling her I wish I was to blame. She yawns and sits up.

¡°Teller, were you trying to get me naked in my sleep?"

Again I laugh.

¡°You know it babe, but actually I just wanted you to sleep comfortably and not in wet clothes."

She nods and starts unzipping her jeans. God damn my dick's getting hard. I get into bed. I don't want her thinking I'm a neanderthal. I mean seriously, we're both so exhausted I don't think I could fuck her for very long even if I wanted to. She looks back at me and starts laughing. She damn well knows what she's doing to me.

¡°Fuck Tara, I know I'm tired, I know you're tired, keep teasing me though, baby girl, and I'm going to fuck your brains out."

She laughs again.

¡°You're right, babe. My ass is still numb. While it sounds like a hell of an idea, I'm way too exhausted to enjoy it."

She finishes up undressing and climbs into bed beside me. She places her head on my chest and a hand on my stomach and then curls up all around me.

¡°I love you, Jackson. Thank you for bringing me to Vegas."

I tell her I love her back and then go to give her a kiss. Once again she's asleep, breathing in and out peacefully.

I lay there for a few more minutes listening to her breath and thinking about what I want to do tomorrow and then the world ceases to exist and I'm driving down a dark rainy road on my bike...


	40. Chapter 40

_A/N...Sorry my updates haven't been quick or on Tuesdays lately. With summer i've been busy and I'm having some anxiety issues and sometimes it gets very hard to think straight. _

_I wrote this chapter Monday night before the dreadful Tuesday episode. I must say..i'm going to miss Jax and Opie's brotherhood and loyalty. I'm not quite sure who the Jax we are going to see from here on out is but I can almost bet it won't be the Jax he's been with Opie around kind of keeping him in check. Rest in peace gentle warrior. We will miss you! _

_No copyright intended. Jax, Opie, Tara and Donna are ALL products of Kurt Sutter and FX. I'm merely a person in the the big world of SOA fans that loves loves loves these characters and wanted to give them some back story._

_Thanks all for reading! And thanks Anne for being wonderful! _

¡ ...

I wake up the next morning feeling a whole lot better, even though that stupid dream of riding my bike in the rain lasted pretty much the whole night. Thinking about riding in the rain has me almost considering buying a truck and putting my bike in the back on the way home. Almost. I climb out of bed, trying not to disturb Tara. I know she has to be sore. I figure I will take a shower and wake her up to soak in a warm bath while I go grab us some breakfast. Just as I'm climbing out of the shower, I hear pounding on the door from Opie's room. I throw on some jeans, that are thankfully dry, and pull the door open.

¡°Dude, Tara's still asleep. Mind keeping it down a notch, brother?"

Opie laughs, throwing his thumb back over his shoulder.

¡°Donna's out cold too. Thought I'd go down and pick up some breakfast. You wanna come with?"

I laugh telling Op I was just thinking the same thing. I tell him to hold on a sec and then finish getting dressed. I leave my cut on the chair. I figure being in Vegas I don't need to wear it at all times. I kind of feel I just want to be Jax today. It's been a long time since I was anything besides SAMCRO. Shit I've been SAMCRO since the minute I was born. Not that I mind being SAMCRO, just sometimes I think it would be nice to be Jackson Teller, normal average every day guy. With one last look at Tara, I cross over into Op and Donna's room and we walk out into the main hallway.

¡°You think they've got like a breakfast bar down there somewhere?" Opie asks.

I shrug my shoulders.

¡°I'm sure they've got something. At this point, I don't care what it is. I could eat just about anything plus a hot cup of coffee is a must."

Opie laughs.

¡°Ya um that ride was a little longer than I had anticipated. I woke up this morning thinking about buying a truck and putting my bike in the back to get home."

I laugh.

¡°Dude, I seriously had that same thought this morning too! Until I thought if we showed back up in Charming in a cage with our bikes in the bed we'd look like pussies."

Opie looks at me and nods.

¡°Good point, man. Fuck but I don't want to ride home."

I push him sideways and laugh. Thank God Tig and Juice aren't within hearing distance. We'd, for sure, be getting ragged on for this. We step into the elevator and take it down to the main lobby. The doors bing and we step out. There are people everywhere. I'd have thought it would be quieter in the mornings around here but I guess when they say it's the city that never sleeps, they aren't kidding. I scan the lobby for signs of food. Over to the left there is what looks like an eatery with a buffet bar. Opie and I walk over breathing in the scent of glorious foods. I pay the lady, grabbing two take out boxes and start piling them full of bacon, eggs, cinnamon rolls, toast, and pancakes. When I reach the end, I throw in a few butters and some syrup. Closing everything up, I move over to a nearby table, waiting for Opie to finish getting him and Donna's grub. When he's done, we make our way back over to the elevator. My mouth is watering so bad I can almost taste the eggs and bacon in the containers.

¡°Dude, we forgot to get drinks."

I make sure no one else is within ear shot and throw out a "fuck." How the hell did I forget my coffee? That was first on my list of things to get. Walking back into Opie's room I look over at the closet. Sitting on the shelf is a coffee pot and packets of coffee. I'm in luck. Closing the door behind me with my foot, I step into the room putting the food on the table and turn around to get the coffee pot. I get it all plugged in and situated and tell Op I'll be right back, that I need to wake up Tara. I walk into our room closing the door behind me. I walk over to the bed sitting down next to her, gently shaking her.

¡°Babe, wake up. I've got breakfast and we're in Vegas and we got things to do."

She rolls over and groans reaching down to rub her leg. I can't help but laugh a little.

¡°It'll be alright babe. Once you get up and moving they'll loosen up."

She rolls toward me leaning her head on my back.

¡°Jax, on the count of three make me get up or I'm afraid I won't get out of this bed any time soon."

I nod ok and Tara starts counting

¡°1... 2... 2 ½... 2 ¾ and and and and 3"

She is still lying there so I grab the closest thing to me which is her arm and drag her toward the edge of the bed. She starts giggling and fighting with me. I win though and she almost falls to the floor. With surprising strength for one who is "sore" she pulls me down with her. We are lying there in a pile on the floor, her naked and me completely clothed. She kisses my neck and I growl.

¡°Tar, there is $20 in breakfast food over on Opie's table. You know I'd love to do what you're wanting to do but right now all I really want is a coffee and some food."

She laughs and stands up walking over to where her clothes are hung up, pulling on underwear and a bra and then feeling her clothes for dry ones. When she's fully dressed, she walks over to the door and listens to the other side. Knocking once, she goes in. Donna is up and at the table eating already. She must be more of a morning person than my girl. The smell of coffee is permeating the room. I don't even stop at the table for my food; I head straight to the pot which is done brewing. Grabbing a cup, I pour and bring it up to my nose inhaling deeply. Opie walks over asking me if I'm going to drink it all or share. I laugh, handing him the pot and he takes it back over to the table. Sitting down, we all begin to eat.

Over breakfast, we talk about what we want to do with the day. The girls want to take in a few shows and do some shopping, while Opie and I want to do some gambling and without saying it out loud we'd like to visit a strip club or two just to see if Vegas is like everywhere else. When we've all stuffed ourselves to excess, the girls get up to go take their showers and get ready for the day, leaving Opie and I sitting there, finishing our coffee.

¡°Jax, you ever wonder what growing up without SAMCRO would have been like? I noticed you didn't wear your cut this morning and it got me thinking. What if we were just two normal guys, in a normal town with normal parents?"

I nod.

¡°I do wonder, man. But then I think just how lucky we are to have the huge family that we have because of SAMCRO and it makes all the chaos and drama worth it, ya know? I mean look at us, man. We've been friends since the day we were born. It's always been you and me. Without the club, we may or may not have had this friendship and I, for one, am glad you ended up being my best friend."

Opie nods taking a drink from his coffee. Conversations like this aren't uncomfortable for Op and I. With Piney being my dad's best friend, it really has been Op and I all along. We know each other almost as well as we know ourselves and so I know when Opie asks me about SAMCRO something is running through his mind and I'm not sure I like where it's going.

¡°What's up, man? Why the wondering?"

Opie shakes his head.

¡°No reason. Just a thought I had."

I take a drink from my coffee and don't say anything. I know he doesn't want to tell me why he's asking right now so I'll wait and ask him again another time although it's going to bug me wondering why he'd want to be anything other than exactly who he is. Setting my cup down, I stand up and walk over to my room grabbing my cut and putting it on. SAMCRO is who I am. I'm not sure who I was fooling trying to be just Jax because there is no "just Jax." Walking back in I sit back down picking my coffee back up. Opie takes another drink while he's regarding me over the top of his cup.

¡°It really is ingrained in you, isn't it? You're in line to be the president. You know the gavel is yours one day."

I put my elbows on the table folding, my hands together with my pointer fingers up.

¡°As much as the gavel will be mine Op that VP patch will be yours. Like I said earlier, it's you and me. If I lead, you'll be at my left. No other way I see it happening. If something happens and I'm gone, it's up to you to carry on the club. We are what's left of the First 9. The next generation. It's our duty."

Before Opie can say anything, Donna walks out.

¡°Wow such serious faces guys. We're supposed to be on vacation enjoying ourselves not wallowing in Charming and MC business."

I smile at Donna. She's right. Here Op and I are getting into deep conversations over coffee and eggs when we are supposed to be here partying it up. I, for one, am not going to let any more grass grow under my feet. First order of the day now that I'm awake is finding Tig and Juice. I'm going to need some alcohol and Tig's gonna get it for me. He just doesn't know it yet. I tell Op and Donna I'll be right back and to let Tara know I went in search of Tig. They agree and I head out the door.


	41. Chapter 41

A/N... Thanks for the reviews and new follows! I appreciate each and every one of you. It's you guys that keep me going! Rest in peace Opie. This weeks epi was good. Reminded me of old times. Jax seems like the younger version of himself again. It's almost like things have come full circle...anyway...

Thanks Anne for being the best beta around! I appreciate your time!

No copyright intended. Jax, Opie, Tara, Donna, and the rest of SAMCRO belong to Kurt Sutter and his genius mind. I'm merely borrowing them for this story because I wanted more SAMCRO lol. Enjoy!

Juice and Tig's room was just a few doors down from ours. I walk up and pound on the door and stand there for a few minutes. I don't hear anything so I pound again. I hear some rustling and then hear the chain being removed from the lock. The door opens and there stands a chick completely naked except for the brightly painted feathers on her face. She opens the door and gestures for me to walk in. I nod and walk past her. No modesty for this one. I survey the room. There's three more of those girls scattered around the room in different stages of undress and Tig and Juice are a tangled up mess with them. Putting my fingers to my mouth, I let out a loud whistle waking the motley crew. Tig kicks his leg out throwing one of the girls off the bed while Juice sleeps through the noise. I stand there with my hands on my hips, waiting for Tig to say something. He rubs his hands over his eyes and finally looks my way.

¡°Jax, what the fuck do you want man? It was a really late night last night, brother."

I laugh.

¡°Ya bro I can see that. I need your help though. See I'm not 21 so I need you to go get me stuff to drink."

Tig looks at me like I've sprouted two heads.

¡°Listen man, couldn't this have waited until like the afternoon?"

I laugh again.

¡°Nope. I'm in Vegas with my girl and I plan on letting a little loose while I'm here. Please Tiggy, hook a brother up would ya?"

Tig nods.

¡°Alright already. Let me get dressed would ya? While 'm doing that, wake shit head up. Have him get these girls out of here ya?"

As soon as Tig says that the girl who opened the door starts searching around the trashed room looking for her clothes. Or I guess more appropriately lack there of. What she finds cannot be defined as clothing. It's a bright pink gstring with sparkles and a bra top same color with sparkles and a pair of feathered wings. She steps into her meager clothing and heads for the door. She stops in front of me putting her hand on my chest.

¡°You're a cutie aren't you? If you feel like having a good time while you're here, come check out our show. Let us know you're there and we can hook up with you again later."

With that she runs her hand down my chest and turns and walks away. I know I shouldn't be grinning but damn that chick was smoking. I stand there grinning like an idiot for all of about 2 seconds before I snap out of it and walk toward Juice to wake him up. Thank god his naked ass is sprawled belly down on the bed. I don't need to see what he's working with. Seeing his ass is enough. I shake him awake and he groans. Blinking a few times, he turns his head and looks at me.

¡°Hi Jax. What's up? What do you need?"

Leave it to Juice to be a bit chipper after what looks like some crazy night's events.

I laugh.

¡°Get dressed, dude. Tig said to kick these girls out, man. We're gonna go get us some alcohol and get this Vegas trip started."

Juice laughs.

¡°Bro, me and Tig already got this Vegas trip started and lemme tell ya after what happened last night, I may never return to Charming."

I find Juice's pants laying on the floor and chuck them at him.

¡°Just get dressed dude. I've seen enough of your naked ass for the day."

I turn to walk out, talking back over my shoulder,

¡°I'll be out in the hall when you guys are ready ya?"

Juice nods and I walk out the door. I decide to sit down putting my arms around my knees resting my head. I hear the room door click open and see the other 3 dancers all dressed similarly to the one that left earlier walk out. They don't take much notice of me but I sure take notice of them. I wonder how in the world two people like Tig and Juice hooked up with some hot ass Vegas show girls on their first night in town! I watch them walk all the way down the hall, shaking my head the whole time. I hear the ding of the elevator as the doors close and Tig and Juice walk out.

¡°Looks like you guys had a hell of a night."

Tig and Juice look at each other and then look back at me.

¡°You have no fucking idea man."

I laugh. We decide to hit up the store inside the hotel. I give Tig money and an order for Vodka, Orange juice, Tequila for Opie and Beer for me. When Tig leaves, I turn to Juice.

¡°So seriously, man. How in the world did you guys end up with 4 Vegas show girls in your room?"

Juice shrugs.

¡°If you weren't practically married, you could have ended up with 4 Vegas show girls in your room too."

I hit him and call him a fucker and punch him on the shoulder.

¡°I'm not married dick head. I like Tara, not to mention dude, the sex is way worth it."

Juice ya ya's me. I look over at him.

¡°What happened between you and Stevie, man. I thought you guys had a good thing going."

The chipper happy Juice disappears in an instant and is replaced by a frowning sad Juice.

¡°I don't know man. One day everything was going great. The next, well she said she couldn't deal with the club, and she left."

I tell Juice I'm sorry. Poor guy. Him and Stevie hit it off really well and were together for almost 3 years. Wonder what spooked her so bad about the club this late in the game. I'm just about to ask Juice when Tig walks out alcohol in hand.

¡°Got your shit man. Let's get it back up to your room ya?"

Climbing into the elevator Tig asks what Opie and I did the night before. I tell them we went to bed. Got some sleep. Tig starts cracking up.

¡°What the fuck brother? You're young you should be partying it up with some dame and instead you're in bed like a married man."

I look at Tig and Juice and I ask them what's with calling me a married man. They both laugh and Tig tells me I may as well be married because I'm only getting one piece of ass and that's Tara. I laugh but deep down it does kind of bother me that they are calling me married. I'm 18 years old and part of an outlaw MC. Being a one woman man isn't really the biker image. I shrug it off and laugh telling the boys that at least I'm getting a steady piece of ass. By about that time the elevator arrives on our floor. I take the drinks from Tig and thank him. He nods and he and Juice go on their way. Where to, I'm not real sure. Part of me wishes I was going with them, while the other part of me knows that getting Tara drunk is going to be some seriously good pussy.

I knock on my door hoping Tara's in our room to answer it. Waiting, I hear nothing, so I go next door to Opie's and knock. The door swings open and Donna lets me in.

¡°What is all that Jax?"

I grin and show her what I've brought.

¡°Vodka and Orange juice for you and Tara, Tequila for Ope and Beer for me."

Opie grins.

¡°Fuck yea man. Tequila. Pop's drink of choice and quickly becoming a favorite of mine."

I take the alcohol over to the mini fridge, open it and store it away. I look around.

¡°Where's Tara?"

Donna and Opie shrug. They tell me she said she was going to go take a shower and took off about half an hour ago. I think it's strange she didn't answer and I tell them I'll see them in a bit. I open the door to my room and walk through quickly. On the floor is a trail of clothing leading into the bathroom. I click the lock in place keeping Opie and Donna out and my clothes start to join Tara's as I follow the trail. I open the bathroom door and Tara's in a nicely steamed up shower. I quietly shut the door behind me and start to open the shower door. Tara's standing with her back to me, her crow right there reminding me exactly what she is to me, and I step through putting my arms around her.

I kiss her neck and she reaches around running her hand down from my belly button to palm my very erect, pulsing penis. I slowly take her shoulders and turn her toward me, all the while she never lets go. Our lips meet and as usual it's like fire, a driving need to just be with her. My hands find her hardened nipples and I tease them with my thumbs and caress her breasts with my fingers. I slowly walk her, so that her back leans on the tile of the shower. My body is pressed against hers so damn tight air couldn't even get through. My mouth finds her nipple and I flick it with my tongue and she lets out a groan and strokes me harder. I take her ear lobe in my mouth and pull and that earns another groan. I whisper to her that if she keeps on doing what she's doing it's going to be over very shortly.

She laughs and then guides me into her. I thrust in and she gasps. It's always like this. Always like the first time. She feels so good. So tight. I run my hand down her stomach palming her thigh and bring her leg up around my waist all the while still thrusting into her. Our lips are meshed together our breath ragged. I'm barely holding on. Tara just does this to me. I feel her foot point on the leg around my waist and I know I'm almost driving her over the edge like she is me. I slow down, drawing my penis in and out at a slower pace. This drives her wild. She bites my lip and that's when I know she's going over the edge. I speed back up and we lose it together. I stay where I am for a minute more before letting her leg down. She's looking at me, with a smile that could make me melt. I bring my hands up to frame her face and give her a kiss.

¡°I love you."

Three little words that mean so much. She brings her hands up grabbing my wrists and tells me she loves me too. I pull away from her and it's like I've lost something. The connection is broken and I so badly want it back. And that's when it hits me. I'm fucked. It's always going to be Tara. I help her get washed off and I wash off and we get out of the shower. She's looking at me with the look of a tiger. Her bottom lip is tucked beneath her top teeth and she's giving me that come hither look. I walk toward her and pick her up, throwing her over my shoulder. She lets out a squeal and starts laughing. I throw her on the bed and lay on top of her pinning her to the bed.

¡°Didn't get enough in the shower, babe?"

She shakes her head no and that's all she has to say as I go in for the kill.

About an hour later, I'm lying there on the bed, dozing, when there's a knock from Opie and Donna's door. Then I hear

¡°Guys, come on. We're in Vegas; lets go check out some shit and come back and get our drink on."

I roll over and kiss Tara awake.

¡°Hey babe, you hear them. They don't want to spend their days in bed. You want to go out?"

She nods and yells,

¡°Don't get your panties in a wad. Give us a few minutes and then we can go."

I can't help but laugh. Damn I love this girl!


	42. Chapter 42

Me, Tara, Opie and Donna decided to do a little gambling that day. What we didn't know is, they serve alcohol while people sit at the machines. I could tell it was watered down but it still packed enough punch that when we were done, we were all pretty drunk. I know I was trying to stand up straight so if I was feeling it this bad I know the girls and Opie had to be pretty snockered. I look over to Op who had just finished pulling his lever down and I hear bells ringing. Looks like Op hit some money. How much I'm not sure. All I know is he's whooping it up. Donna comes running over, or rather fast staggering walking, and I finally make it over to where he is. Looks like Opie won $500!

¡°Dude Op, 500 dollars! That's awesome!"

Opie just smiles and pulls Donna in for a kiss. All his winnings go onto a card and the card gets cashed out at the end of the visit. We decide to take a walk down the strip and check out all the neon lights. Opie's being pretty drunk and loud, Donna's laughing non-stop, Tara's walking around in wonder, checking everything out, trying to walk straight and me; I'm just taking it all in. We walk past an Elvis wedding chapel. Next thing I know, Op's dragging Donna into the chapel. He's got her by the hand and she's giggling. I look at Tara and raise my eyebrows at her and she shakes her head having no clue what's going through their heads. When we walk in there's a counter with an older lady standing at it.

¡°You youngins looking to get married by Elvis?"

I shake my head no, as does Tara but Opie and Donna walk right up to her.

¡°Yup, I want to marry this beautiful girl beside me."

Donna all the while is nodding and giggling. This shit is crazy! I pull Tara aside and ask her if we should try and stop this. She shrugs her shoulders like she's saying I don't know.

¡°Babe, this could be bad when they sober up. Real bad."

She nods. I know she's thinking the same thing.

I've got to do something. So I walk up to Opie and ask to speak with him for a minute. Tara does the same to Donna. We walk away out of ear shot.

¡°Op man, are you sure you want to do this? This isn't a joke. This is real and marriage is real. I just don't want to see you make a mistake."

Opie looks at me for a second before he begins to talk

¡°I love Donna, brother." he slurs. "I'm marrying her. You can either stand up with me or, you can take your woman and go. Either way I'm marrying Donna."

I nod. By Opie's conviction, there is no way I'm swaying his decision.

¡°I will stand up with you. You know I'm always there for you."

He nods.

¡°Thanks, Jax. Now I'm going to go back up there and get the paperwork filled out."

With that he turns on his heel, drunkenly almost falling over and walks back up to the counter. Looking over at Donna and Tara, I can see Tara isn't getting any further than I did. Tara glances over at me and I shake my head, letting her know it's a lost cause. I see Tara throw her hands up in defeat and Donna walks up to the counter with Op. I walk over to Tara, put my arm around her back and walk her up to the counter to stand behind the soon-to-be newlyweds. I hear the lady explaining to them how Vegas weddings work and then going through the paperwork with them. They show their ID's to prove they are both 18 or older and then sign a paper.

Before I know it, we are ushered through some double doors into the chapel. Looks like a normal wedding chapel except there is an Elvis impersonator standing at the helm. Jesus Christ if they wanted to get married by Elvis they could have just asked fucking Bobby! The lady ushers Op and Donna up in front of Elvis and motions Tara and I to stand on the respective sides of the bride and groom. I had a good buzz going on before but now I'm stone sober. This whole thing is a very bad idea! I get lost in thought and before I know it Elvis is pronouncing them man and wife. What the fuck - that took probably 2 whole minutes. Opie and Donna kiss and the next thing I know I'm automatically slapping Opie on the back as he's standing there grinning like a blooming idiot.

The lady from the front rushes over with a piece of paper for Tara and I to sign. Witnesses. Why do I just feel like I witnessed the death of my best friend? I sign at the X, as does Tara and she hands the paper back to the lady from the front. With that she tells Op and Donna congratulations and tells us to have a nice day. Op and Donna don't even hear the lady I don't think. They are so engrossed in each other.

¡°Get a room you two! It's bad enough I've gotta see this shit at home but I don't have to stand here on my vacation and watch the two of you go at it like some freaks or something."

Opie breaks away grinning, the gold cap on his tooth shining in the light.

¡°Like you and Tara don't do this shit around TM." Opie spits back.

I laugh. He's got a point there. Opie and Donna head toward the door waving to the lady at the counter as they walk out. We stop, standing on the sidewalk on the strip. I feel my stomach rumble. Food. Food would be good.

¡°How about I take you lovely newlyweds out for your first dinner as a married couple?"

Opie has his arm wrapped around the top of Donna's shoulders and when I say newlywed and married couple he draws her in close to him, smiling and then plants a kiss on her temple.

¡°You hear that, babe. Newlyweds, married couple."

She laughs and so do Tara and I. Opie is truly happy. I pull Tara in for a hug and whisper in her ear,

¡°You sure you don't want to get hitched, darlin?" she nuzzles her face into my neck, kissing me then tilts her mouth to my ear.

¡°No way in hell Jackson Teller. I love you, so _so_ much, but it ain't happening. I want a real wedding babe. White dress, SAMCRO and all!"

She pulls away and I motion for the gang to follow me down the strip. Before I get too far though, I remember that Juice and Tig are here with us.

¡°You know, Juice and Tiggy might be pretty pissed off if we go celebrate without them. Probably should head back to the hotel and see if we can find 'em. Don't you guys think?"

The three all nod their heads and we turn around and head back the way we came. We get almost to our hotel when we see a crowd outside. I can't tell what's going on, only that people are hooting and hollering. I catch a glimpse of a leather vest and that's all it takes to have me busting through to the middle. Good thing too. Tig and Juice have their hands full with two big Mexican dudes. Opie busts through right behind me, pulling Tig off one of the guys, while I pull Juice from the other. I look to the two Mexicans who don't have colors on and tell them to get lost if they know what's good for them. They both snarl, wipe the blood from their faces and tell us we don't know who we've messed with. I laugh.

¡°Boys, you don't know who you've messed with. I could call the Nevada chapter of SOA and they'd roll in 50 deep. Do you really want to go there because I will."

After telling them about our Nevada chapter being close, the two Mexicans decided they should probably tuck tail and leave. I shove Juice and Opie has Tig by the vest. Shoving Juice to stand next to Tig I ask what the fuck all that was about. Then all hell breaks loose and Juice and Tig are both talking at once. I shout for them to shut the fuck up. Throwing my hands up, I tell them to just forget about it.

¡°The reason we came to find you boys is because we've got some celebrating to do."

Tig and Juice look at me with nothing but questions on their faces.

¡°Jax man, what are you talking about?" asks Tig

I look at Opie

¡°You want to tell them or should I?"

Opie grins.

¡°I made Donna my ol' lady."

Silence. Followed by more silence. Finally Tig slaps Op on the back congratulating him and Juice walks over and hugs Donna.

¡°That's great news guys, just great news. Where we celebrating? We going to get drunk, fuck some strippers or what?"

I look at Tig.

¡°Seriously man? I'm just taking you all out to dinner. What you do with your sick and twisted mind after that is entirely up to you."

Tig grins his crazy, evil grin and starts heading down the strip. I laugh - just another crazy ass day in the life of Jax Teller.


	43. Chapter 43

I wake up and roll over onto my back, rubbing the palms of my hands over my eyes. Thank God today is the last day in Vegas. Last night was some crazy shit. Op and Donna got married and then dinner and somehow we ended up at this club and honestly, after that I don't remember shit. How I even got home is a mystery to me. I pat the bed beside me, no Tara. I rub my eyes a little harder blinking them open. Still no Tara. I try and remember what happened after the club last night and all I'm coming up with is a blank. Sitting up, I scan the room. No Tara. Fuck. Now I'm starting to get worried.

I hop out of bed and pick my Levis up off the floor. I put them on, not zipping them up, holding them up by the belt loops and head for the bathroom. I've gotta piss. I do what I gotta do and walk back out into the room. Grabbing a shirt and my cut, I pull on socks and put on my kicks and head for the door. I have no clue where to even look for Tara. I don't really want to wake up Op and Donna on their first morning as husband and wife but I don't see much choice so I knock on our adjoining door. No answer. I knock louder yelling for Op. Finally the door opens and Op stands there, hair standing up all over his head with his eyes still in slits.

¡°What the fuck do you want, man?"

I explain to him Tara isn't in the room and his eyes immediately come awake.

¡°What do you mean Tara's not in the room?"

I explain I woke up and she wasn't there. I ask Opie if he remembers what happened the night before and he shakes his head no.

¡°There's no way we left Tara somewhere, brother. She's gotta be here, somewhere."

About now, I'm freaking out. I run my hands through my hair.

¡°Op, you've gotta get dressed. We've gotta find Tara."

Opie turns around waking up Donna in the process. Donna looks up at me.

¡°Umm morning Jax. What's up?"

I tell her I can't find Tara and she immediately jumps out of bed and grabs up clothes and heads to the bathroom.

¡°Give me a minute. We'll find her. We couldn't have left her. We wouldn't have done that."

I look at Donna like she's a fucking lunatic. FuckingA right we wouldn't have left her. The question is where in the sam hell is she. While Op and Donna are getting dressed, I walk back into our room deciding to check the closet just in case. No fucking Tara. Op walks to the door telling me they are ready. I decide the first thing we should do is wake up Tig and Juice so they can help find her; so we head down the hall to their room. We pound and pound and no one answers. We finally decide we have to break in. I pick the lock and open the door to an empty room. Ok what the fuck. It's 8 in the morning and I know damn well Juice and Tig would not be up this early. Opie looks at me with raised eyebrows and a now what look and I shrug my shoulders. Just then the phone on the night stand rings. I walk over and answer it.

¡°Hello."

The voice on the other end breaths in and asks if this is Jax Teller.

¡°You already obviously know who I am. Now who the fuck is this?"

¡°Your worst nightmare bitch. Now shut up and listen. We have your fucking brothers and your girl. In 8 hours, you are going to bring us half a million dollars. Your boys and your girl will remain unharmed unless you fuck with us and don't bring the money. We will contact you with a place."

The phone clicked off before I had a chance to say anything else. I punch the table so hard the wood breaks, probably breaking my hand with it. I don't have time to think about the pain shooting through my hand.

¡°What the fuck, brother. What's going on? What was that?" Opie asks me

I shake my head and bury my head in my hands.

¡°Tara, Tiggy and Juice have been kidnapped! They want $500,000 in 8 hours. Where in the fuck are we going to get that kind of money? The boys can't get here in 8 hours. We have no choice; we have to call SOALV!"

Opie shakes his head.

¡°Jax, don't you think we need to call Clay and the boys first?"

I think about it for a minute.

¡°Fuck you're right brother."

I am totally not looking forward to the conversation I'm about to have with my stepfather. I dial the number and after a few rings Clay picks up.

¡°yo vacation boy, how's it going out there in Vegas?"

I stammer for a minute.

¡°umm well that's why I'm calling Clay. We've run into a bit of a problem."

There is silence on the other end for a few seconds before I hear Clay ask me what the fuck I'm talking about. I tell him about the phone call I just received asking for 500 large and then the stream of swearing begins.

¡°Jesus Christ, Jax. How in the hell did some low life fuck ups grab two of your brothers and your ole lady?"

I really have nothing to say and I don't think he really wants an explanation. Before I can utter a word he starts back in.

¡°Don't fucking do ANYTHING. Me and the boys will head out. They said you've got 8 hours right? I'm rounding up the boys now. No time for packing we're headed down. Call SOALV. See if they can back you up. Maybe help you track them down before we get there. I'm not sure how we're going to get $500,000 but I'll think of something."

With that he hangs up the phone and I'm left staring at the screen. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. That's all I can think right now. I fill Opie and Donna in on what Clay said and let them know that all the boys are on their way. The Calvary is coming.

¡°Op, I think we should ride over to the Las Vegas club house. See what we can get from them. Dude on the phone sounded Mexican. Wonder if there is beef between SOALV and The fucking Mayans in Vegas."

Opie nods and we head down to the lobby. I must admit though that I've missed my bike these past few days. Ope and Donna climb on Op's bike and I get on mine and we roar off down the Vegas Strip headed for SOALV and hopefully some help. If I don't get Tara back, my life may as well be over!


	44. Chapter 44

Roaring down the road, all I can think about is Tara. Well not exactly only Tara, the pain shooting up my arm, every time I pull in the clutch to shift gears, registers a quick second in my mind. It doesn't matter, though. I keep on roaring down the road. SOALV isn't very far from where we were staying. Truthfully, I should have probably stopped in when I got into town, but I really didn't want to. All I wanted out of this vacation was time for me and Tara, to ourselves, with our two best friends. I never, in a million years, anticipated a problem with Mayans in Las Vegas.

I motion to Op that the club house is the next right and then turn in. SOALV's club house is located at the back of a seedy strip club called Pandora's Box. The ol' lady of a support club from Illinois owns a few of these places, and lets the Las Vegas boys rent out the back room. It helps her keep the riff raff out since she's not around to be a hands-on manager. I pull my bike around back to the entrance, really hoping someone is in at this time of the morning. Putting my kick stand down, I swing my leg over and off my bike and am to the door and knocking in a matter of seconds.

I knock for a few minutes and just when I've about given up any hope someone is there, the door swings open with a disheveled looking prospect behind it. He looks me up and down once, sees the SAMCRO patch and ushers the three of us in.

"I'm Tony, what do you need from me?"

I explain to Prospect Tony the situation and he turns ashen. "You're Jax Teller. I shoulda known. The prez is at home; let me call him up and get him down here for ya. I'm sure Dozer will help you and the mother charter anyway he can. While you're waiting, can I get you guys anything?"

I ask him if he has a coffee pot. He nods and heads into another room I assume to turn the pot on. I look around. Not a bad gig really. They've got a bar, much like the bar at SAMCRO, and a pool table. Looks like they have a room or two for stragglers to stay in or maybe they make the prospect stay to take care of the place. Good idea, if you ask me. There's a set of double doors I assume leads to the chapel.

As I'm looking around I hear the rumble of a bike and the door opens, letting in the bright light from outside. Walking in is a man I've never met. Las Vegas is a relatively new charter so we haven't had much interaction with them. The man walking toward me is a giant. He walks up extending his hand.

"The prodigal son. Nice to meet you, brother. I"m Dozer. Why don't we head into the chapel and you can tell me exactly what's going on."

I nod and introduce Opie and Donna to him and we follow him to the room. Their chapel is a lot like ours except their table isn't wood. It's typical Las Vegas Style - inch thick plexi-glass with neon lights spelling out SOALV underneath shining through. Dozer closes the door behind us, gesturing for us to have a seat. Folding his hands at the head of the table he looks at us and says,

"Now boys, let's get down to business. Tell me what's going on."

I fill him in on the events leading up to this morning and he sits there and listens intently. When I'm done he speaks.

"The Mayans haven't been a big problem until the past month or so. As far as we know, we've done nothing that should have made them have a beef with us but for some reason their guys are throwing punches at ours and threatening us with running us out of town. I have been lying low up to this point, figuring they were just letting us know they were here. Kidnapping the prince's ole lady though and two members is crossing the line."

With that, he dials the phone and puts it to his ear. He barks a command to someone on the other line and hangs up.

"My guys will be here in twenty minutes tops. I know your guys are on their way but I don't think we should sit around and wait for them to get here. The Mayan prez down here isn't the nicest of guys. Nothing like Alvarez, not that Alvarez is a nice guy either but at least he has some heart."

He runs his hands through his hair and then says,

"I'd like to ride over to their clubhouse. I'm taking all my guys plus you two. Donna will stay here. I've sent a text to my ol' lady and she's on her way to keep Donna company while we're gone. Sound good to you two?"

Op and I look at each other and nod, and look over to Donna who nods as well. I don't think she wants to get caught in any cross fire and feels better staying behind. Within 20 minutes, SOALV has amassed at the clubhouse and the amount of energy is crazy. Some of the guys I've met before and others are new but no matter about that, they all believe in brotherhood and don't care what it takes to get my girl back.

Dozer's wife, July, walks in and leads Donna from the room. A plan is formulated. The guys grab weapons from a safe in the corner of the room and we head out into the hot Las Vegas sunshine. From what Dozer said, the Mayans clubhouse is about 20 minutes away in a run-down neighborhood on the outskirts of LV. Op and I ride in the middle of the pack, placed there because we don't have any fucking idea where we are going. My hand is still throbbing but I push it to the back of my mind. I'll get it checked out when I know Tara is safe. My adrenaline is pumping. I can't believe we are just rolling into Mayan territory unannounced. This is some crazy shit, like Tig would do.

Behind us, following in a Chevy truck with a 6 inch lift and huge ass tires, are the prospects. The truck has a huge brush guard on the front. Wonder if they've ever used it for anything. Looking around, I notice the surroundings have changed from the glitz and glamour of the strip to run-down houses that have definitely seen better days. There are drug deals going down on the corners and hookers in doorways. Flyers cover every inch of telephone poles, with people looking for things or advertising. The yards here are full of trash, and cars and trucks up on blocks with no tires. Definitely not like Charming.

Before too long, we pull down a street that looks like it's more industrial than residential. We must be getting close. The front of the pack slows and pulls into an unmarked building. The only way I can tell it's occupied is by the few bikes parked out front. Dozer motions for us all to be quiet. We turn our bikes off and climb off without saying a word. We know there is no sneaking up. They had to have heard all the bikes pull up. Following Dozer's lead, we go to the door and knock.

Without waiting for anyone to answer, Dozer opens the door and walks in. The room is empty. There are no Mayans and there is no furniture. It's one big empty room. Dozer shakes his head. Something is amiss. We walk around searching the smaller rooms off the main room. Opening a door, I find Tig and Juice tied up to a pole, bound and gagged. Running over to them, Opie and I untie them and take out their gags. Tig and Juice immediately start talking. I immediately haul their asses up and tell them to shut up and tell me where Tara is. Tig starts shaking his head.

"That's just it Jax, Tara isn't here. They tied us up here and left. No one has been back since last night. Haven't seen hide nor hair of Tara since."

I tell Tig and Juice they demanded 500 grand and Tig moans.

"Fuck Jax, man I'm sorry. What are we gonna do? Have you called Clay and the others?"

I tell Tig and Juice the calvary is on its way. The SOALV boys are checking out the rest of the place just to be sure we didn't miss anything when the door opens, and five of those Mexican mother fuckers walk in. Guns are drawn all around. For a split second, I fear being gunned down in some shit hole and left for dead and that's when Dozer takes over yelling for the Mayan bitches to put down their guns. After a moment's hesitation, where I could see they realized they were outnumbered, they put down their weapons. Dozer holds up his gun and tells them he just wants to talk. I hear him ask where they've got the girl, and the piece of shit prospect spits on the ground, while another looks at us with defiance.

"The bitch is with us. When the 500 grand is received, you will get her back. She is unharmed but won't stay that way if you bitches fuck us on the money."

Dozer tries again to get them to tell us where they are, even promising if they tell us they will walk out of there unharmed, and have no repercussions in coming months from the Sons. Even that doesn't work. These must just be Sancho's bitch boys and they are just following orders.

Following Dozer's lead, we walk out of the warehouse, guns pointed at the five losers. Now what? I'm glad to have Tig and Juice back but every second without Tara I'm getting more and more worried. We've got 6 hours until deadline. That doesn't give us much time. With Tara not being at their clubhouse, she could be literally anywhere. Who knows what these Mexican pricks have up their sleeves. They are sneaky fucking bastards. Tig and Juice go hop in the truck while Op and I get ready to follow SOALV back to the clubhouse. Dozer circles his hand about his head saying roll out and we head back to the city that never sleeps. I sure as hell hope our boys are rolling my way fast because if anything happens to Tara, it's gonna get bad and there's gonna be dead bodies scattered all over the Las Vegas area.


	45. Chapter 45

A/N~ Sorry it's been so long guys...summer is busy busy! Thanks for sticking by me and thanks for all the wonderful reviews! Anne your awesome as always!

I'm just someone in love with SOA I don't claim any ownership. His highness KS made up this brilliant world and i'm merely a minion adding my own spin on a story left untold. ~Ali~

Sitting around the SOALV club house is about to make me go crazy. It's been two or three hours since we got back from the warehouse and there has been zero progress. Tig and Juice couldn't really tell us much. They were just as wasted as the rest of us evidently, because the last thing they remember is being at the bar after dinner. Juice is trying to find out anything he can online but there isn't anything to go on, so it's pretty much just random searching. SAMCRO should be here in another 3 or 4 hours but by then the deadline will be up and Tara will probably be dead. With that thought I take a big swig of my beer. Hell, may as well deaden some of the pain I'm feeling. The swig turns into downing the whole thing and I ask the probee for another. He twists the cap off and slides it down the bar. I thank him with a nod. Just as I'm about to upend this one, Op comes over and sits down next to me.

¡°You know sitting here getting drunk isn't going to find your ol' lady any faster."

Good old Op. Always the level headed one. Doesn't mean I want to listen to him. I take another swig while I think about what I want to say.

¡°Nope it's not, but fuck Op, we've got no leads. I'm in a town I don't know my way around so it's not like I can go look for her like I'd be doing in Charming."

Opie nods. He knows I've got a point. He pointedly looks at my left hand cradled in my lap.

¡°Think maybe you should see if they've got a doc on standby?"

I shake my head. No use messing with it right now. The phone behind the bar rings and prospect Tony answers. He mumbles something quickly and shouts for Dozer. I'm really not thinking much about who's probably on the other end until Dozer picks up the phone and looks at me. He's telling the person on the other end to tell him where the girl is. It doesn't sound like he's getting very far. Finally I hear him say we will be there and hangs up the phone. Dozer turns around and fills me in. Tara's being held in a house close to the warehouse we were at earlier. We are instructed to bring half a million dollars at 4pm sharp or "the girl" will be dead. I slam my fist into the bar, without realizing it's my fucked up one, and more pain shoots up my arm.

¡°Son of a bitch, mother fucker. Fucking hand and fucking Mayans."

Dozer looks down at my hand.

¡°Brother, why in the hell didn't you say you'd broken your hand earlier? I've got a doc on speed dial. He coulda fixed you up."

I shake my head.

¡°Can't have no cast slowing me down right now, man. I gotta be able to ride. I'll deal. When I get my girl back then I'll get it looked at, deal?"

Dozer nods and turns and lets out a whistle.

¡°Chapel boys. We need to discuss the plan of action."

With that, everyone quits what they were doing and heads for their seats around the plexiglass neon table. Once everyone is seated and Juice, Tig, Op and I are standing off to the side Dozer fills the rest of SOALV in on the telephone call.

¡°Boys we've got a problem. Unless one of you is a multimillionaire that I don't know about, we don't have $500 large."

All of SOALV nods in agreement.

¡°Anyone got any ideas on where we can get that kind of dough in, oh 4 hours?"

There is nothing but silence at the table. I can almost hear the wheels turning in these fellas brains. I got nothing, Op's got nothin and I'm really hoping someone comes up with something and quick. Juice steps forward.

¡°How opposed to say robbing a bank are you guys? See I'm a computer hacker. It's what I do. Las Vegas has a lot of ATM machines. I could hack into the mainframe and make the computer think it needs to spit out all of its money. Only problem is, it's broad daylight. If it was night, it would be a little easier."

He shrugs. It's a good idea but I don't think it will work.

Dozer shakes his head no.

¡°It's a valid idea, Juice but there are too many people in Las Vegas. We'd never get away with it. Someone would have the cops arresting us before we got $30 out."

An idea just dawned on me.

¡°The lady who owns this place, Karma, does she keep any cash on site?"

¡°I'm sure a little but nothing like $500 thou. That's a lot of cash, Jax. This might be Vegas where a lot of money floats around but nothing like that." replies Dozer.

I run my hands through my hair. That's all I got. I'm out of ideas, Juice is out of ideas, and Tara's probably going to be dead in 4 hours. I start to pace. I just don't know what to do. If I'd have just fucking stayed in Charming, instead of wanting to try and be normal for a weekend, none of this shit would have happened. When you're an outlaw biker, there is no such thing as a vacation. Lesson learned on that one. No one else has any ideas, so Dozer bangs the gavel and we all go back out to the bar and sit around. An hour later or so I hear a bunch of bikes pull up. If that's SAMCRO, they busted ass to get here. Sure as shit Clay and the boys walk in. I walk over and Clay pulls me in for a hug.

¡°We'll get her back, son. Don't you worry."

I nod and he leaves my side and walks over to Dozer. They shake hands and then Dozer motions everyone back inside the chapel. After filling our boys in, the room gets silent and Clay takes the stage.

¡°I just want to thank all of you brothers for standing up and helping out my family. Now, I've got an idea. It's risky but I'm banking on the fact they won't count the money until after we've gotten the girl back. My idea is to cut up paper and pad the tops and the bottoms of the stacks with real bills. We put the unprinted paper in the middle. Throw it all in a duffel and hand it over. If they check it, we'll have to have our guns ready and shit may go down but at least we tried."

Dozer nods.

¡°Karma keeps enough here we could do that. Let me just get her on the phone and make sure she's OK with the plan. You boys can pay back whatever you need to borrow right?"

Clay tells him that yes, SAMCRO is good for the money. Dozer tells us to sit tight while he goes outside of the chapel to grab his phone and call Karma. The silence is almost deafening. No one wants to talk. Everyone is on edge. We hear a phone drop in the bucket and then the doors open. Dozer's back with a smile on his face.

¡°That Karma, she's one hot piece of ass with a heart of gold. She says go get your girl, Jax and bring back the money when you get home."

Hoots and hollers go up all around the chapel. Dozer bangs the gavel ending church. Everyone has a task and time is running short. It feels good to have a purpose. I turn to walk out and Clay notices the way I'm holding my hand.

¡°You OK, son?"

I nod, not very convincingly I must admit.

¡°Can you ride?"

I tell him I did earlier and that I will now no matter how bad it hurts. I'm not admitting it's gotten stiff and that I really don't know if I can ride or not, because in all honesty I don't have a choice.

At 3:00, we all head out to our bikes. The prospects are in the huge truck with the cash and the rest in formation of the pack. Again SOALV splits their club in two, putting ours in the middle and we ride out. I can no longer squeeze my hand to shift with my clutch. I have to reach my hand around and press the clutch lever in instead. Son of a bitch. I just don't need this right now. Clay notices and shakes his head. If anyone understands it's him. He's been diagnosed recently with arthritis in his hands and has to take meds to help him move his fingers.

The drive to the house feels like it takes forever. Really it's only about 25 minutes or so from down town LV. We slow to a crawl while Dozer, who's leading the pack, looks for the house. When he throws his hand in the air and clenches his fist, we know we are there. We turn off our bikes and park down the road. We're walking in, trying for the element of surprise, a little anyway. I can't help the adrenaline that is flowing through my body. My girl's here. No matter what I'm getting her back.


	46. Sorry

I haven't forgotten about all of my fan fic followers. Been going through some bad health things and sometimes it's hard for me to think straight. I promise you I am going to try and get a few chapters written in the near future. I know you all are waiting. Stick with me! Thanks for reading!

~AliKatt~


	47. Chapter 46

Authors note: Thanks everyone for sticking by me. I know it's been a long time since i've posted a chapter. I've been ill. I'm still not well but had a few days where I felt like writing. I appreciate all the new story followers! I'd also like to thank my beta Anne! Thank you so much!

No copyright intended! Kurt Sutter is the genius who created all of these characters. I merely expand on what he imagined!

The house is a little shit hole, crammed in between two other shit holes. Not sure why I'm paying attention to what the house looks like other than the fact that I know my girl has been inside there for far too long. We walk silently up to the house, splitting in two, with some headed around the back and the rest staying out front. Just as we step onto the porch, the door swings open and there is a shot gun pointed directly at us.

"Put your guns down, boys. Which one of you is Jax Teller?"

I step forward, glancing back at my brothers. I hear Tig start to talk.

"You're not going in there alone, man. Not happening."

The Mayan starts turning his gun toward Tig.

"He's coming alone or you're not getting the girl back. Is that clear? Bring the money Teller, let's go. We don't have all day."

I take the duffel from Clay and nod to him letting him know I'm ok with this. I'm not going to let them see that the idea of going in there without my guys is scaring the shit out of me. I'm trying to think how I'm going to draw my gun if I have to and hold the bag with the money. Fucking arm might get me killed! The Mayan nods at me to walk ahead of him and I do praying with each step he doesn't just decide to unload a round into my back. I step through the front door and notice there are 3 other Mayans sitting there with guns pointed at me. The Mayan to my back takes his shot gun hitting me in the back of the knees making me fall to the ground. Son of a bitch. This isn't going how I planned!

"What the fuck did you do that for man? I've got your money right here. See?"

I open the bag showing them the bills.

"Ay esse we see that. But it ain't about the money homes."

NowIi'm listening.

"Then what it's about HOMES? And where is my fucking ol' lady?" I say with a sneer. This shit's really starting to piss me off. Like a fucking wild goose chase or some shit.

The Mayans start to laugh.

"Kids got balls esse." I hear one say to another.

"This, Teller was to let you know The Mayans aren't gonna fuck around with you SOA perras. Stay the fuck out of our territory. You got me? You drove right through here on your way into town. That shit don't fly with us HOMES. We understand you have a semi truce with Marcus Alvarez up your way. We ain't them. Next time steer clear, ya hear?"

I nod. Seriously this was all over a drive through their territory? Fucking Mexican shit heads!

"I get it. Where's Tara?"

Two of the shit heads get up and haul me to my feet, dragging me towards a door in the hallway. They knock and a Mexican girl opens the door. Some words are exchanged in Spanish and the door opens all the way showing me Tara duct taped to a chair and gagged. I should kill these fuckers for what they've done to her! I'm pushed forward to stand in front of her. Her eyes are begging me to help her. I give her a slight nod. Letting her know everything is going to be ok. Before I can ask what now, I hear a loud bang at the back of the house and shouting. The two idiots holding me let me go to see what the commotion is about leaving me there with the girl and Tara. I slam the door shut behind me locking it. Grabbing the girl before she has time to think I put her arms behind her and head butt her ass, knocking her out. I don't care about retaliation. All I care about is Tara. Gun shots ring out. I know I've got to hurry. Time is running out. I pull my knife from its sheath and cut the tape from around her wrists and ankles. Once that's done, she pulls the gag from her mouth gasping for air.

"We have to get out of here Jax. They are planning on killing us. Initiation for patches."

There is pounding on the door and a bunch of Spanish words being yelled. I have no idea what they mean. I've got my gun out and pointed at the door and I'm telling Tara to open the window and get out. She tries but the window doesn't open. I take my gun and smash it out telling her to hurry and run out front to the guys. She nods and she's gone. I turn to crawl out just as the door behind me smashes in. Gun shots ring. I don't even have a chance to think and I'm shooting back. It's like I'm on auto pilot the only thoughts are don't get shot, keep shooting and run! I dive through the window and land on my side. Hopping up, I run. Not sure where I'm running to, Tara I guess, away from the Mayans most definitely, anywhere. I hear lots of shouting and lots of gun shots and then silence. I see my brothers coming out of the house. All look whole and Tig has a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Juice took Tara to your bike. Safer over there."

Before I can even ask what the hell just happened, I'm running again, toward my girl, my life, my future. I round the corner and she's sitting there, on my bike. Juice is sitting on the curb next to her. It feels like it takes me forever to get to her. Then next thing I know she's in my arms and the world fades. The only thing in it is just the two of us.

"I love you. I fucked up Tar. This should have never happened. Please forgive me. Are you ok?"

She doesn't speak.

"Tara?"

Still nothing. I pull away and look into her eyes. There is anger. I expected tears. She nods.

"I'm fine Jackson. They didn't hurt me. I knew you'd come."

There's something off about her tone but right now I don't care or don't think anything of it.

" I'm tired. I know it's a long way home but that's the only place I want to be."

I nod.

"Ya ok. How about we get some sleep here in Vegas tonight and head out first thing in the morning for home."

As I say this I'm unconsciously holding my arm. It's then I see her eyes go big.

"You're hurt."

I nod again. "I am. To be honest if you wanted to go home tonight I don't know how we'd get there. My arm barely let me ride the bike here to get you. Not sure how it would do with a long road trip."

The guys round the corner just then. Clay and Tig give Tara big hugs.

"Let's get out of here. There are 4 dead Mexicans in that house. Don't want to be anywhere around when the cops show up."

I nod. I figured that's what went down. We don't carry guns for looks but still, 4 dead guys. I've never killed anyone. Not sure I could, to be honest. Climbing onto my bike, I have a fleeting thought about Tara and the fact she shouldn't have heard that, about the dead guys. I've kept her away from most of the really bad shit. I"ll have to think about this later on. Everyone's rolling out and headed back to the clubhouse. Tara climbs on behind me, wrapping her arms around me and leaning her head on my shoulder. For the first time today, the world feels right. I've got a lot of questions to ask her. Mainly how she got snatched and where, but for now I'll let the wind in my hair and her arms wrapped around me, soothe my soul.


	48. Chapter 47

Authors Note: I'm not raciest. The term "Mexi mother fuckers" is something I whole heartedly believe Jax would use. Please don't take offense.

Thanks Anne for being a great friend and Beta! Appreciate all you do!

As usual I don't own SOA or any part of it and I most definitely don't make any money from SOA. Kurt Sutter created these wonderful characters and I merely expand on them. Hope you all enjoy! ~A

I shut off the light and climb into bed next to Tara. The cast on my arm is making it hard to get comfortable and still cuddle with her. The doc said it was a simple break and should heal with no problem. I feel Tara scoot over to me and she lays her head on my chest.

"Jax?"

I answer. "Ya."

"I could have been killed."

And that's when I hear the crying start. I know there is nothing I can say to make her feel better. This is all my fault. If it weren't for me being SOA then she'd have never been in any danger. The only thing I can do is comfort her. I bring my hand up and place it around her neck rubbing softly.

"I'm so sorry, baby. We should have never left Charming. It was a stupid thought that with me being in this life we could get away from it all for even a few days."

She shakes her head.

"No it wasn't Jax. I know you did it for me, to do something special for me. If I hadn't decided to go out for ice last night after you passed out, they wouldn't have gotten me at all. I was stupid. I didn't think of the consequences."

Now it's my turn to shake my head no.

"No Tara. You can't blame yourself for something that happened to you because of MY club. So that's how they got you? I was wondering. I couldn't figure it out. Those stupid fucking mexi mother fuckers!"

Tara actually laughs at that.

"Jax, how did we get here? I mean you and me? We met because of an apple. Fate. Maybe fate put me in line with those mexi mother fuckers as you call them."

I can hear the laughter in her voice when she says "mexi mother fuckers" and I can't help but laugh myself.

"Eh darlin. I don't believe in fate. I believe we make our own destiny. You're my destiny. I don't know what I'd have done if something would have happened to you. No fuck that. I do know what I'd have done. I'd have killed every one of those pieces of shit!"

Tara places a kiss on my chest.

"My big bad biker hero. I love you, Jackson Teller. I always will."

That's when my resolve breaks and I just have to have her. I have to be inside her, feel her, be as close as possible to her. I crush my lips down on hers moving my hand up into her hair. Reaching with my other hand...

"Son of a bitch. This fucking cast."

Tara laughs.

"Let me do this baby. Let me love you."

And then she does, numerous times until we are both so exhausted that the only thing we can think of is sleep. She's lying on top of me almost passed out. Right at this moment, I'm in heaven. I brush her hair from her cheek and give her a light kiss. She murmurs something that sounds like "I love you Jax" and smiles and is out cold asleep. I should sleep, I know, but being here with her and watching her sleep is more important. She's everything to me. I know people say that the young don't know what they are talking about when it comes to love but how could this feeling I have be anything other than the real, true love that lasts a life time. I can't imagine a life without her in it.

My mind starts whirling. I see a house with a white picket fence, 2 kids, my SAMCRO brothers who my kids call uncles. It's all there and at the center of it all is her. That picture is the last one in my mind as I drift off to sleep. Tara and our boys. Yes, boys. They have to be. There is a SAMCRO legacy to fulfill and girls well, that just can't be.

We wake up in the morning to banging on the door. I scramble up grabbing my boxers and jeans off the floor.

"Who is it?" I shout before pulling the bolt free.

"Clay. Now get off that pussy and get dressed. We gotta head home."

I pull the door open and he's standing there with a smirk.

"Someone looks rode hard and put away wet."

I laugh.

"Ya somethin like that."

He asks me how I plan on getting home since I can't ride. He knew the truth even when I wouldn't admit it to myself.

"Well, I uh hadn't really thought about it. Been a little busy, ya know." I say with a grin.

He laughs "I called the prospects last night. Had them bring the van down. They got here this morning. They will ride you and Op's bikes back and you guys can take the van. More comfortable for the girls that way."

I nod.

"Thanks. I appreciate it."

He turns to leave.

"Get moving. We got shit to do back home. This Vegas adventure is over. No more BS. Time to get on the road."

I close the door and hear Tara climb out of bed behind me. Before she can get too far, I tackle her back onto the bed. She's laughing and squealing. I'm holding her arms down and kissing her, or trying. She's squirming around like a worm.

"Let me go, Jax! We have to get going. I'm not going to have the wrath of Clay come down on me because you can't keep your mitts off."

I shoot her the smile I know she loves.

"Are you sure darlin? We could repeat last night. I know I wouldn't mind."

She laughs. "Nothin I'd love more, but someone in this relationship has to think of something other than sex and right now I'm thinking about food. Let me up! I'm starving and I want to go home!"

I feign sadness with a pout and roll off her. I guess this little vacation away has come to an end. Time to get moving. We pack up what little we brought with us and head downstairs. Op and Donna beat us down and they already ordered our breakfast for us. Best friends. Can't help but love em. We make quick work of the food since we, well you know, used all our energy on more pleasurable things and head out front where all the guys are waiting. Op and I hand our keys over to the prospects with a warning about how they'd better treat our bikes on the way home and climb into the van. I'm letting Op drive. I figure he doesn't have a broken arm like I do. He should drive.

"So you going to use that arm as an excuse for everything you don't want to do once we get home?"

I nod.

"I'm thinking about it. I can't wrench with one arm so I can't work. Yup that's what I'm gonna tell Clay."

Op turns around looking at me with a grin. "You'd do that too. Leave me to the wolves in the shop alone. Thanks man. Thanks."

I laugh. "Just pay the fuck attention to where you're driving and let me think about all the excuses I'm going to make up."

And that's how this road trip ends. We make our way back to charming laughing and joking the whole way back home. I can't help but sit back and take in the interactions of my three best friends. Life. We live it. Sometimes good, sometimes bad, but it's ours and no one, even mexi mother fuckers can take that away.


	49. Chapter 49

The ride home was brutal. All I could think about was how it felt to be bound and gagged. I put on a nice little show for Jax making him think I am ok but in reality I'm not. I love him, I really do. I don't know if I can love him and accept he's SAMCRO. I could have been killed. I heard those Mexicans talking and what they were planning for me wasn't good. I shake myself out of my reverie, I have to. I promised him I'd stick for at least a semester of college so I will. What happens then though I can't really say right now. The trip home seems like it takes forever. I really just want to go home and have my mom and dad eating dinner at the table waiting for me. I want to go home, to the home it used to be. The one I knew I was safe in. I can't. That home no longer exists. As I sit here and watch the miles go by I have no clue where home is anymore. I know I'm not going to go home to get beat on by my drunk grieving father that's for sure.

Jax reaches his hand over and rubs his thumb over my fingers. "We're almost back to Charming. Do you want us to drop you off at home?" I quickly shake my head no. "I can't go back there Jax. I can't deal with him right now." Jax nods his head in understanding. "I guess we head to the clubhouse then until we figure out what to do." I grab his hand and squeeze. "Thanks for understanding."

When we pull into the clubhouse everyone is waiting outside for us. We climb out of the van and Gemma rushes over wrapping Jax and I into a huge hug. "Glad you're both back in one piece." Jax holds up his cast and says "two pieces." Her eyes widen, "what happened baby?" Jax shrugs "it's alright Ma. I punched the table when I heard about Tara. Stupid move on my part." She rubs his back, shaking her head and walks away to find Clay.

Donna walks up. "So umm, Opie and I were talking and we thought maybe you and Jax might want to move in with us. We have the two extra rooms and, well, I heard you talking and I don't blame you if you don't want to go home. You've been through a lot. Not to mention, we could use the help with rent." I shake my head no. "We can't Donna. You just got married, that would be an intrusion." I barely get the words out when Opie storms up. "We are not taking no for an answer. We are your family. Even if Jax doesn't want to live there you can. Please Tara say yes." I look over at Jax and he shrugs. "Would be kind of cool" and then the grin spreads across his face. "Just think, our room, our bed, and no parents." I punch him in the shoulder. "Is that all you think of Teller?" He shakes his head yes "you're beautiful and I love you. Of course it is." Laughing, I turn back to Opie and Donna. "You're sure?" They both nod. I smile and tell them that we accept their offer. Opie slaps Jax on the back "let's take our old ladies home." I smile. It sounds good to me.

...

I wake up and look around. It takes me a second to realize that I'm in my new room on an air mattress. I lay still for a minute listening to the soft sound of Jax's breathing. I slowly turn over to watch him sleep. When I see him like this it's hard to believe he's anything more than an 18 year old kid who is my boyfriend. Sleeping like this he doesn't seem like someone who carries a glock strapped to him at all times under his cut. Will I be able to leave him if I have to? I don't know. I reach my hand out and twirl my fingers through his hair. I love him. I uncurl my fingers and run my thumb down his cheek. This wakes him up. He smiles sleepily "morning." I lay my head down on his chest and he runs his fingers through my hair. "First morning in our new place. Gotta say I'm liking it so far." I nod and smile. "It does have its perks." Then the peaceful moment is broken by the shrill ring of Jax's burner. Real life interrupts. He reaches for the phone flipping it open "hello?" I turn over throwing back the covers. Guess it's time to get up and head to my dad's to break the news to him. I'm not sure how it's going to go. I'm thinking not so well but whatever, I'm no one's punching bag. Jax finishes up his conversation and lays back down running his hands through his hair. "That was Clay. I've got to get to the clubhouse. We need to discuss retaliation for your kidnapping." I nod and continue rolling out of bed. Jax reaches over stopping me. "Come here for just a second." I lay back down, our faces almost touching. "Tar, I love you. I'm sorry about what happened in Vegas. I really am. I promise it will never happen again. Please tell me you're ok. We're ok." I don't answer immediately. Finally I say "we're ok." He kisses my forehead and gets up. While he's getting dressed he asks me if I'm breaking the news to my dad today. I tell him I am. Throwing on his cut and strapping in his knife he asks if I want him to go with me. I shake my head no. "I think it will go better if I go alone or take Donna with me. My dad doesn't need to know your living here too. As far as he's concerned I'm living with Donna." He laughs. I tell him I will let him know when he can come help move my stuff though. "I see how it is. Good enough to be a work horse but not good enough to live with." He lunges at me spearing me into the mattress and starts tickling me. "Let me up, let me up! I'm gonna pee my pants!" This makes Jax laugh really hard. He throws his hands up in defeat. "Alright, alright. I gotta go. Love ya babe." He gives me a kiss and walks out the door.

I lay there a few minutes more and finally make myself climb out of bed. Donna is still asleep so I decide to shower and make breakfast. I'm just finishing up the eggs when Donna walks out yawning. "I knew there was a reason I wanted you to live here." I laugh taking a bite of the bacon. "I'm buttering you up to help me move." She laughs. "Give me that damn plate." So we sit down and I outline my lie to her. She listens intently. "So, you and I got a house. That's the story?" I nod. "Ok. Let me get dressed and let's get this shit over with." I quickly clean the kitchen trying to keep down my anxiety. I don't even know what condition my dad will be in when I get there. Donna walks out and I can't push the confrontation back any longer. I grab my keys from the counter and walk out into another beautiful Cali day.

We pull in the driveway. The house is quiet. The grass hasn't been mowed in weeks and the papers are piled up on the front porch. This isn't looking so good. I grab the weeks' worth of mail out of the box and unlock the front door. Donna following closely behind. I put my finger to my lips motioning for her to be quiet. I push the door open to a trashed house. What I had picked up a few weeks ago has been thrown around and broken all over again. I shake my head. This pisses me off. I lost my mom too. You don't see me going around trashing everything in my path. I walk through the living room to the kitchen. There are dishes piled high in the sink and empty alcohol bottles everywhere. I throw the mail on the only clear counter space and turn to Donna. "How can he do this to her memory? How?" I'm barely holding back tears. I'm so angry I'm shaking. "Fuck this. I'm getting what stuff I can right now. I'm leaving him a note that I'm moving out. If he cares he can figure out where to find me." She nods. Her eyes wide. "I'm so sorry Tara. It shouldn't be like this." I turn and walk upstairs to my room. Thankfully it hasn't been touched. Guess he has some sense of decency left after all. I start throwing my clothes into a big duffle bag. Donna is folding up my blankets on my bed and getting my pillows. A shadow crosses in front of my door and there stands my father. "What do you think you're doing?" I don't answer and keep on packing. He takes a few steps into my room. "I said, what do you think you're doing?" I glare at him. "I'm packing. I'm moving in with Donna. I can't live like this. I won't live like this. Look at yourself. You reek of alcohol. When's the last time you've showered? Moms gone. You're not. Wake up. Join the living. I might have helped but when you hit me that was it for me. Over. Done." He lets out a sob and backs out of the room. I hear a door slam. I have a moment where I want to go after him and comfort him but that moment passes. He's beyond my help. My mom would be rolling over in her grave if she saw this. I feel bad. I need to get out of here. I turn to walk out motioning for Donna to follow. She hasn't said anything this whole time. I think this is as much as a shock to her as it is to me. I didn't have a bad childhood. I had a great one. Now all I'm left with is memories. I grab my car keys off the counter and take one last look around. Shaking my head I walk out the door leaving the only home I've ever known behind. I pile my things in the car, Donna throwing my pillows on top and we get in and drive off. Tomorrow I think to myself, tomorrow I will look for a job.


End file.
